Dance Moms Recap: Reunion PART TWO

Recaps

By SnoopK8 | Thursday, September 27, 2012 | 4:28 pm | 21 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Dance Moms, Recaps

Anyway, Jabby says of course she’s not jealous, she just hates Kelly because Kelly doesn’t push her kids hard enough and is ruining their lives like she ruined her own. Kelly maintains that Jabby burned out Brooke and Kelly wants Brooke to try other things and also Jabby never encourages Paige. Jabby says it’s because Paige doesn’t WANT to win and then she says maybe Kelly doesn’t remember because Kelly was out getting drunk.

Jeff asks Kelly what was up with her nervous breakdown at NATIONALS and Kelly says she hates Jabby, but she loves her because she’s been such a big part of her life and she wants to leave but she doesn’t. Ugh. Kelly can haz therapeh?

Just when we might be getting some insight into Kelly’s psyche (just kidding), Jeff goes to Christi and asks about the “tension” between her and Melissa. This is accompanied by a montage of Christi yelling at Melissa and Melissa storming out. Christi says that Melissa does terrible things but it would be fine if she would just admit it. Christi illustrates with a story about one time when Mackenzie broke Nia’s prop cane and Melissa would not admit that her kid did it.

Christi says that whenever Maddie doesn’t win, Melissa always has an excuse. Melissa disagrees. Then they all discuss whether Maddie or Chloe is better, but conclude that both girls are equally good (although you know Melissa secretly thinks Maddie is better). Jabby says their “rivalry” is good because it makes both Maddie and Chloe better.

Again, Jeff cuts off the conversation to bring in Kaya aka Black Patsy. We see some, I think, new footage where she is yelling about being pregnant at 16 and being a lesbian. Oh god, don’t give MTV any ideas.

I’m here and I’m queer. No really, I am.

Jeff asks if he can call her Black Patsy, and she says he can call her Kaya. Heh. She explains that her mom dubbed her “Black Patsy” because she is a crazy stage mom like Patsy Ramsey. Jeff wants to know why Kaya brought her daughter to ALDC in the first place. Kaya says because of ALDC’s reputation and she never wanted anything to do with the crazy moms. (Which is obviously why she went on a show called “Dance Moms.”)

Jeff notes that the moms look uncomfortable. There is a bunch of back and forth about who was mean to whom first. Apparently, Kaya threatened to “F up” Christi, but the moms allegedly called Kaya the d-word (I think they mean “debutante”) several times. Christi says she doesn’t care if Kaya is a lesbian because she has LOTS of gay friends. Kaya says, bullshit, “everyone” says they have a lot of gay friends and a lot of black friends. Shrill says that Melissa doesn’t really think that Kaya is a lesbian. Melissa’s sitting there like “don’t look at me, scary black lesbian.”

Kaya’s says of course she is really a lesbian, she even has her partner’s name tattooed on her back. But then she says she’s not really black and everybody laughs. The levity is short-lived because they still need to discuss the “F up” threat. Melissa says she thought they were all going to have to get into a rumble. Oh my god, a dance moms rumble would be the most annoying thing ever. They’d all be tripping on their 7-inch platforms and cocktail dresses. Kelly would have a cosmo in her hand the whole time. Kaya could take them all at once, I bet.

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SnoopK8
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Snoop K8 lives in NYC and loves baseball, red wine and Judge Judy (not necessarily in that order).

21 Comments

  1. 1
    Gwen
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Cathy said “star quality” not “star power”.

  2. 2
    SnoopK8 snoopk8
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    @Gwen – Ah, that actually makes more sense. I regret the error and blame somebody else.

  3. 3
    moonbeam1133
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    “I’m sure Dance Moms is exactly what Martin Luther King, Jr. had in mind when he made that speech.” Hahaha

    I must admit I will miss the snarky recaps, they’re much better than the actual show and they literally make me LOL at my computer (as my roommates give me confused looks).

    Why does Vivi always look like a creepy doll? She never smiles, always has this blank look on her face… does any one else get that?

  4. 4
    Dani
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    Great recap! I’m going to miss your recaps as well. Will you be recapping Abby’s dance challenge (or whatever it’s called)? I’m sure I’ll end up watching it.. Looks like plenty of mom drama from the clips, which is disappointing because it would be more fun just to see a real competition between the dancers. Why do the moms need to be involved?? I know. I know.. Drama!

    Wish the girls were on more, and definitely wish they had a better host then Jeff Collins. He didn’t ask any good questions, and if he did ask anything somewhat interesting, he turned the conversation onto something else.

  5. 5
    fancyface
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 8:26 pm

    I think the 2nd half was definitely better than the 1st & IMO you didn’t do it justice *ducks for cover*. There were a lot of interesting things that came out & you sort of just rushed through & skipped them all. I def think Kaya’s segment deserved more detail, especially the part where she explained WHY she lost her shit on those beeyotches. But I digress. This has been a looonnnnggg season & you deserve to get it over with! It’s been a hilarious ride with you!

  6. 6
    alicecarroll13
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 5:02 am

    vivi cant be free..her soul belongs to the dance gods….and that hair thing in her hair makes her look 5 yrs old!!!
    ms abby was just in the news..shes saying that honey boo boo child needs to get into dance floor and lose the fat…..im not joking!!!
    poor brooke…shes getting too old to be dancing with the other but on facebook yesterday the kids shows pics of the new dancer and she’s not the child of black patsy..the new girl is white..cute..”opp’s is this a sign that brookes leaving”.

  7. 7
    smango
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 5:48 am

    Mr. Random Producer is no Andy Cohen.

    This reunion was a complete waste of time; two hours I will NEVER get back. I have many complaints about it; mainly that they ‘rehashed’ stuff that happened on the first season. This season was so long, I had forgotten the first one even existed. This was lame, uninformative, chirpy, and boring. The only reason I even watched it was because my dvr recorded it, and I had nothing else to do.

    Thanks for recapping them, though! I have enjoyed your recaps all season (all five years of it!!)

  8. 8
    ellemenop
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 6:52 am

    ooh, happy to read you’ll be recapping 666 park avenue! i have my dvr set; it’s the only new show i’m interested in checking out this season.

    i do think i will be amongst those watching next season, at least at the beginning. i don’t think i have the energy to watch her other show, though. it’s just too much.

    your comment about dance moms/dr. king had me envisioning him getting a dance moms preview as he was writing the speech, crumpling it up, throwing it in a wastebasket, and pouring himself a scotch. bahahaha.

    @moonbeam1133 — i agree; vivi has no expression. it’s probably because she’s using all her energy on plotting her revenge.

    @alicecarroll13 — haha! really? why doesn’t abby lose some weight on the dance floor, then? how rude. why would she comment on honey boo boo’s weight? even if she weren’t large herself, wtf?!

  9. 9
    realitytvjunkie
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 7:19 am

    Vivi – ugh, that poor child. She just looks so miserable. Or maybe uncomfortable is a better word. I think she’s old enough to realize that she’s not really that great of a dancer and she doesn’t like being put in the spotlight. I just feel bad for her.

  10. 10
    realitytvjunkie
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 7:21 am

    @alicecaroll13 – where is the pic of the new girl?

  11. 11
    KRB
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 7:45 am

    My favorite part of the show was when Christi said that Melissa has an excuse of every time that Maddie loses… I was hoping they would play a montage of every time that Christi said that Maddie had better choreography, costume, more attention, etc. But alas I didn’t get my montage… :(

  12. 12
    KatieKitty24
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 9:25 am

    In that picture of Cathy and Vivi, Vivi totally looks like a ventriloquist dummy! That poor little girl…

  13. 13
    Dani
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 9:45 am

    For some reason I am not getting e-mails telling me that there are comments. Very frustrating!! Is anyone else having this problem?

    I would like to know more about the “new girl”? Can you tell me where you found that picture? I’ve looked on facebook, but can’t find it. Is it on a particular girls, or moms, site?

  14. 14
    ellemenop
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 11:31 am

    @dani — yep; I haven’t been getting my subscribed emails for anything on this site for weeks now. it is totally frustrating.

  15. 15
    Gwen
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 11:56 am

    @ellemenop Do you really want to see Abby lose weight on the dance floor? That is something I do not want to witness.

  16. 16
    MisRed MisRed
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    snoopk8- loved the breakfast club reference! Love your recaps to- I think I subbed for you once this season- and i loved recapping this crazy sh*t show- but you are the master.

    I thought Vivi looked a little less “unfortunate” at the reunion. Of course, it could have been the tranny lashes and 8 inches of grout Cathy slathered on her poor little hostage face… I agree. FREE VIVI

    Great job this season… all 26 months of it. :)
    xo,
    MisRed

  17. 17
    April
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    Lifetime has not put up part 2 yet and I check everyday. Damn y0u Lifetime!

    I do like the Jill on this reunion show. I would totally hang out with fun snarky and non whiny Jill.

  18. 18
    April
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    ps thanks for the shout out haha! Too funny that Mackenzie also asked about it and noticed it. I liked Jabby’s answer, at least it was clever.

    I think 666 Park Avenue looks interesting so I might watch it and if I do I will be reading your recaps. They put in on after Revenge which I adore so maybe it is a similar type show. Will have to see.

    So far only new show I have tried is Revolution and so far I like it even though my husband and I think after 15 years peeps would learn to adapt better.

  19. 19
    April
    Posted September 28, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    oh yeah forgot to say yay for Kendall and the dancing with Michael Jackson. That would be my answer too. I adores him! All my friends joke because anytime they want me to dance they just put MJ on and I start doing that dance routine from whichever video it happens to be. I know them all. My friends have a great video of me dancing to Beat It at their wedding in full character.

  20. 20
    alicecarroll13
    Posted October 4, 2012 at 2:10 am

    BIG NEWS COMING FROM THE KIDS ON DANCE MOMS THAT CANT KEEP SECRETS…lol
    a young girl named Angela is trying out at abby for season 3…it looks like brooke might be stepping away from the show….angela is round the age of the other girls…dont ya just love facebook and how the girls start talking……….naughty….naughty!!!

  21. 21
    Samantha
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    It got renewed for a 3rd season and it has 26 or 27 episodes which I think is even longer then this one. Sorry Snoopk8 xD

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