Dear TvGasm: The 2012 Christmas Party

 @GlitterBloz: Miz Thang wolfed down all the hot wings in the 1st 10 minutes of party.

@waffelknabe: GTFO

@GlitterBloz:LOL: Nope. Now she’s farting like dog under table after Thnxsgving dinner…

@GlitterBloz: …and every time she does, she blames Nick Cannon and punches him in arm.

@Waffelknabe: LOLS, classic

@GlitterBloz: Sure, for the FIRST half hour

@Waffelknabe: Still, beats working with Britney or X-Tina

@GlitterBloz: Yeah, you’re right about that. Maybe I’ll be by later? Save some Franzia for me?

@Waffelknabe: I don’t think that’s going to happen. Kathie Lee G showed up

@GlitterBloz: Ohhhhhhh, Say no more. Want pics tomorrow thou LOLZ

@Waffelknabe: Can do. Happy Holidays Miz Niki

@Glitterbloz:L8ers Barbi, Merry Xmas  Steven Tyler is racess tho

 Dear TvGasm: Man, Lisa Vanderpump has been over by Kathie Lee Gifford for a while now, and is she? Oh my God, Lisa Vanderpump is hammered!

 Soccer Hooligan Lisa Vanderpump:…and don’t try tellin’ me about football mate, cuz I know football. Real football! None of this poxy yank bollocks wit ‘elmets to keep their lil brains from getting scrambled either. I’m talking real ENGLISH football.

Kathie Lee Gifford: Frankie Bota Bottle, why are you leaning over like that? Oh God, no. Are you empty?

Soccer Hooligan Lisa Vanderpump: And don’t give me any of this Premier League bollocks either.You can pound your Premier League right up your bumhole! I’m talk real ENGLISH Football. Who’ve ya got now? Bloody David Beckham and Wayne Bloody Rooney? Please! The Vienna Boy’s Choir has more body hair then tose two poofs combined! Gimme some real footballers, Charlie Nicholas, Stewart Robson, Tony fookin’ Woodcock! Those were some hairy testicled footballers let me tell ya mate!

Kathie Lee Gifford: No this isn’t happening! No, not Frankie Bota Bottle! Why God, WHHHHYYYYY?

Wildly Inappropriate German Accent Yolanda Foster: Der est noting uglier dan der drunkin wimim

Soccer Hooligan Lisa Vanderpump: Shut it slag! One World Cup and Two World Wars! One World Cup and Two World Wars!

Adrienne Maloof: That’s insulting!

Andy Cohen: Everyone be quiet! BE QUIET! Hey Waffle Boy I hear something walking around on the roof. Could it be Santa?

Dear TvGasm: No, it’s just Taylor Armstrong trying to get in to the party without an invitation. Just put another presto log on the fireplace to keep her out. Oh, it’s Christmas. Don’t take any chances. Put two logs on the fire. But I do hear some sleigh bells now that you mention it.

[Door flies open and Drunken Kim Richards wanders into room in a Santa suit with her beard on backwards, and a large sack slung over her back]

Drunken Kim Richards: On Dasher, on Blitzen. On Bashful, on Kelly Clarkson. Merry kwanzza  everybody!

Horrible Sober Kyle Richards: The line was CHRISTMAS Kim. God, it should have been me in Escape From Witch Mountain!