Is there no channel free of Kardashian?
My house is finally free of sewage, now that the entire basement is free of carpet after the Great Sewage Backup of CannedGinger’s House. I have all the litter boxes scooped…no lingering hairballs…yet I still can smell a faint odor. Where could it be coming from? Oh…Kris Jenner is on my DVR. I better get this recap up before the entire living room reeks of Botox, eyeliner and desperation.
I would love to pretend I know something about the Kardashians, but I have somehow managed to live a pleasant life without watching a single episode of this family’s numerous ‘E!’ offerings. My primary exposure is my not-so-secret OK, Us Weekly and Life & Style addiction. Since even the pictures in those rags are manufactured, I won’t claim to know the family at all. Based on the reactions of most people I know, even watching the shows does not guarantee any knowledge of Kardashian or Jenner personality traits beyond those manufactured.
Previously on Design Star:
In the White Trash Challenge,
Miera felt out of her league
Hilari wanted to throw more glitzy trash in at the last minute
Vanilla Ice demanded 15 more minutes of relevance
Rachel won, Jordan lost and Stanley was put on notice to improve his camera skillz.
The designers are hanging out in one of the rooms that was not ruined designed in week one, because who can relax while staring at the collage of trash or being chased by a giant moose head? Rachel is basking in two weeks of glory, while Danielle is moping in two weeks of second best.
Don’t worry, Danielle, Rachel is just being set up for a fall according to my Reality Competition Guidebook.
This week the designers get a Real Client*! We get some accomplished looks of confusion and inquiry from our contestants, someone’s acting coach is pretty happy right now…
Someone’s been practicing!
*Classifying Kris Jenner as ‘Real’ might be a stretch, but she’s real in the sense that Kris is a customer with bad opinions and taste, just like the Real World!
Kris is moving the family offices into a ‘professional’ building and needs help decorating in a high-glam style with lots of black, white and grey. Pops of color are welcome. Kris emphasizes that her business is all about family, because real employees don’t appreciate blatant manipulation quite the same way. Don’t make the rooms too corporate, designers!
Contestants will be picked by pulling magazine covers out of a KK bag (barf). Should I make a drinking game out of each piece of product promotion, or would it be more Klassy to take no notice of the marketing?
I am going to ignore it to save my soul.
Let’s see what the witch’s brew conjures up:
Kitchen: Danielle and Hilari
These girls are happy to work together! Danielle’s just happy to avoid Luca this time.
Conference Room: Mikel and Britany
The bitches are thrilled to collaborate again. I doubt we’ll see any drama.
Reception: Kris and Miera
Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Best. Worst. Team. Ever.
Kris’ Office: Rachel and Stanley
Stanley sighs in relief as the winner is stuck with him.
Showroom: Bex and Luca
Since Luca specializes in high end bullshit, Bex can sigh with relief. Wait; is that relief or a Munch impersonation?
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10 Comments
Good job with the recap. I too loathe all things Kardashian. I don’t even like that I needed to type that name just now. Kris reminds me nothing so much as a madam in her very own Klassy Brothel. Disgusting family. They can get off my TV any time now, and the frequency that they are showing up on other TV shows lately is really appalling.
Anyway. Miera. I have to disagree about Ms. Miera. Being a woman of a certain age I see in Miera some of the worst personality traits endemic to this cohort. She is paranoid about what anyone else is saying or doing, everything is about how it relates to her and what she ‘needs’, thin-skinned and unable to work together as a true team or push back and take her place in any kind of constructive way…. Ugh, I can’t stand her. Mark my words, she will get paired up with designer after designer and have the same problems and the same complaints. I can’t stand her. And frankly I didn’t see that Kris did much wrong while dealing with her in the challenge – he was a little assertive at first and when she pushed back he didn’t totally get it but accepted her push and tried to work with her more equally afterwards but she wouldn’t stop yammering at him and continued to let it go the rest of the challenge. If she handled things differently – pushed back, made her point clearly and with some friendliness, and then stood her ground in a confident and equal way, she would earn my respect. But she doesn’t do that, she basically freaks out and then treats her partner as public enemy #1 forever after. Woman needs to calm the hell down and act like a professional. That’s my take on Ms. Miera.
I thought Hillari handled the wall fiasco pretty well considering it pretty much doomed them. Her accessorizing was not good and the room had problems but if I came back and found out my partner had messed up a wall that badly at the last minute I don’t know if I would have been so quick to move into comfort/problem solving mode as Hillari was. I admire that about her.
So glad Luka is gone. True, the trainwreckiness of the show is less now, but I am so over the whole bitchy queen looking down his nose at everyone shtick at this point. I can do without seeing anymore of that for a while, thank you very much. Kris doesn’t bother me nearly as much (so far). To be clear, it’s not the gay, it’s the bitchy queen persona that is on my last nerve at this point. So done with that. Bye Luka.
Another “woman of a certain age” here who can’t stand anything Kardashian.
Since my furnishings are a combination of hand-me-downs, thrift-shop specials, and garage-sale finds, I’m not exactly qualified to comment on the designers’ finished products. That being said, though, Miera hasn’t blown me away with her designs. However, I disagree with Andyourlittledogtoo regarding her interactions with Kris, who reminds me of my son in his oh-so-challenging teen years. The most revealing Kris quote (which I had to rewind several times to make sure I had it correctly):
David to Kris: “You’re going to have to learn how to play well together.”
Kris: “I promise you that I will try to attempt to grow in that way as much as possible.”
Translation: F*ck you.
I also found Luca’s final confessional to be very revealing: “I was teamed up with somebody who wasn’t remotely in the same ballpark of design that I was… What stinks (sucks?) for me is to prove to the other designers who think they’re as good I as I am that I WAS better than they were.” He will be missed…
I still love this show. Hubby and I watch it together to get ideas for our house and to snark on everyone. Half way through we start picking the winner and the person going home. Your recap was spot on and I loved it. I was glad to see Luca go (he is an ass) and sad at the same time because I will miss snarking on him. I don’t see Miera making it much longer…
I’m SO tired of seeing a Jenner/Kartrashian on every channel, online “news” page, magazine cover, etc.
Last week I avoided reading or watching anything with a Kartrashian in it. That means I didn’t watch this episode of DS (and won’t watch re-runs), avoided Fashion Police, Drop Dead Diva, and of course Keeping Up. I’m also not going to watch any part of tonight’s Oprah Salute to the Trash Clan.
If only there was an Ignore button I could push to prevent ever being bombarded by their skanky plastic faces again.
I want to be clear: Kris is not perfect nor does he interact perfectly with others. Far from it. But it is Miera’s reactions that are so offputting to me and which are looking like a pattern with her. She comes off, not as a fellow adult participant in these interactions, but as an almost parental figure who expects the younger contestants to fall in line in some way. She just gets so affronted and starts yammering and yammering and decides to write whoever has upset her off and refuses to let it go and really work together as a teammate from the get go. She handles the situations all wrong, especially as an older contestant working with primarily much younger people than she is. She just has no sense of how to approach them on an even balance and goes from zero to rage in no time at all. It comes off as someone who seems to feel she is entitled to some deference and allowance in the teamwork that she doesn’t necessarily deserve or should expect. And I think it is this flavor from her that sets the younger contestants on edge. No one wants to work with someone who acts like their disapproving mother. That’s my take on Ms. Miera. Still can’t stand her.
I also think Kris was awful, I’m sorry to disagree Andyourlittledogtoo. He wouldn’t let Miera speak to Kris, then said she was just jealous and that was her problem. Saying “I need you to focus over here” is pretty much a command, tantamount to snapping his fingers in her face instead of politely asking her opinion. And then he told her how the camera challenge was going to go, he did not ask her. All he needed to do was at least pretend like her input mattered, instead of barking orders at her based on what he wanted, and then getting huffy that she wasn’t agreeing with everything he commanded. If he’s calling her feedback “scream”ing then I don’t think he can say he’s “listen”ing at all. Though I admit I didn’t like Miera trying to throw him under the bus in front of David. I read her more as expressing frustration and then more or less agreeing so they can keep moving on instead of arguing, but it could be that I read that wrong. I might change my opinion next episode, since it seems like Miera is going to get into it with someone else again.
^ Maybe that’s true. She apparently gets into it a little bit with Danielle in the next episode, so I guess we’ll see.
But I definitely didn’t see that in her…this was her first altercation on the show and I feel like it wasn’t shown that long, so I’m kind of surprised that you could get all that from it. Did you know her previously?
And for now, since her wrath was directed at Kris and appeared to shut him up for a minute , I am well-satisfied and support her 100%. That little asshole deserved every bit of it.
I try to avoid the Kardashian’s too but it is becoming increasingly impossible. Was watching this last week and was annoyed that the challenge was Kardashian related, watched Fashion Police, Kris Jenner was on that, then watched Million Dollar Closet and the show was about designing closets for Kris, Kylie and Kendall Jenner. UGH!
Last night flipping channels I saw Keeping Up With the Kardashian’s was on – Kris was in her new office with some guy, didn’t stay on the show long enough to see who it was, she was in her office that Stanley and Rachel had decorated. It looks like she kept it the same, the wallpaper had a LOT of bubbles in it, and the high heel shoe tape dispenser that had been purchased for the reception desk was now on her desk.
I also can not stand the Kardashians. I refuse to watch any of their shows. The part i hate most is how they continue to whore themselves out to get free stuff. So Kris did a stint on this show and now has her entire office done most likely for free. These people dont pay for anything!!
Im glad Luca was axed, but he did bring most of the drama to the show. We cant have a show where everyone works well together and gets along. What fun would that be?
What happened to Bex’s Notre Dame of a necklace on her way back from the store on day two? It just disappeared.