Design Star Recap Part One: Joker’s Revenge

Britany is a designer and photographer, and she looks like a blond princess type I either love to distraction or hate beyond reason.  Hey, I’m a high-contrast girl too! 

Produce designs like this under pressure, and it will be love.

Hilari is an ‘Interior Stylist’ rather than designer, and it shows in her portfolio:

Someone walked through Shopko’s back to school racks and called it art.

Stanley loses me when his multiple jobs include ‘Performance Artist’.  Uh…no.  Just…no.  I’m now pre-disposed to hate every word out of your mouth, dude.  Maybe the water in Pittsburgh has an extra teaspoon of douche per ounce?  (Feel free to flame on)

For the first challenge, the designers will pair and design a room.  Before the competition, each designer sent in one decorative item that demonstrates their design style (or lack thereof).  These items are placed in each room to determine the grouping.

Danielle (ugly chrome angel wing) and Luca (ugly steel jacks) are paired up to decorate the Great Room, which is a HUGE space.  This is the type of room that feels towering and empty unless you find a way to shrink it down.  Danielle immediately starts on this problem by suggesting a charcoal grey color for the walls to bring it down to size.

The room is not Great.  It’s large, white and depressing.

The master bedroom has been drawn by Kris (fugly glass table) and Bex (strange pose-able hand).  Bex’s item screams ‘serial killer’, while Kris’ table with the colored gaffing tape screams ‘Something I made while high’.  Neither appeals to me.  Much more interesting is Kris’ style of team interaction:

Just keep those ideas over there in your head, I’m driving this train.

Kris is someone I want to stick around, if only to boss everyone around in the room while pushing through his horrible choices.  That plum color is ridiculous, and Bex goes along with it to avoid looking like a bad guy on camera.

The master bedroom pre-bordello.

Team number 3 is a couple I am starting to like, Michel (old globe painted with chalkboard paint) and Britany (upholstered ottoman).  These two are coordinating ideas and providing valuable feedback to each other so…on to the next group.

Love the built-ins in this room, dazzle me with design folks!

Hilari (cheap ass pillow) and Rachel (nonsensically cheesy moose head) have the den.  Oh, joy.  They squeal like teenagers at the pairing, barf. 

The builder must have had a deal on wood finish.  This room needs help, and I’m not sure these two are qualified to provide CPR.

The workroom is next, with Yuki (tacky tourist trash fleur-de-lis) and Stanley (random ‘modern’ metal welded together).  Since both of their objects are silly examples of hobby-art, I don’t have the greatest hopes for this poor room.  Such a pity that among two artists neither seem to have a sense of taste.

Normally any change to this type of room would be an improvement…

Our final team gets the gloomy room with almost no natural light.  What a perfect room for the Botox beauty and candle creator!  Jordan (bland office side table) and Miera (Hobby Lobby blue and white urn) seem to click immediately as Jordan agrees to stick to Miera’s blue and white comfort zone.

It’s a cave-like tomb of a bedroom designed for your mother-in-law, so it should be right in Miera’s wheel house.

Designers get to look through a huge selection of textiles and samples while providing product placement for all the suppliers.  The only highlight is Jordan selecting a stamped metallic alligator for the headboards.  PETA would not be amused, but I am to see Jordan get a little shiny feature on the walls.