Desperate Housewives Recap: Trial By Liar

Outside the courtroom, Bree tells Trip she was in a dark place (yeah, a shitty motel!  Thank you!) and was drinking and crap and Trip wonders if the jury will believe that she’s innocent now.

Lee is apparently Lynette’s BFF now because he’s at her house, listening to her talk about Tom and telling her that her bridesmaid dress is ugly.  She says that if she tells Renee she hates it then Renee will just pick another one and she’ll hate that one too.  Then Lynette talks about all the stuff that she hated about Tom — college, the restaurant, etc.  Maybe, she wonders, she didn’t have a problem with Tom; maybe she had a problem with herself.  Ding ding ding jackpot.  Lee offers to help Lynette out of her dress and Tom picks this exact moment to see Lynette getting out of her dress with some mystery dude, so he turns around and heads back to Melrose Place.

Celia and Juanita are fighting and they break some tacky piece of crap that Gabby’s grandma gave her.  Juanita says that Celia broke it, but Celia tells her mom that Juanita pushed her into it.  Wow.  Four seasons of Celia and I honestly think that was her longest line of the series.  Gabby tells Juanita that it’s bad that she’s letting Celia take the blame for something that was her fault and then ohhhhhh shit, it’s just like her thing with Bree.

Some doctor-expert is on the stand saying that the blow to Ramon’s head is a blow that a woman of Bree’s build could inflict.  Then Lindsay comes in with some info.  Trip calls a recess and shows Bree the info that he received:  He knows that Ramon was Gabby’s step-dad.  Bree says that she and Gabby and others made a pact not to tell anyone.  Trip’s like, You know, you could go to jail and junk.  Bree asks him if he thinks that will happen and he’s all, I don’t know, cuz that suicide note didn’t help things.  He wants to use the evidence to exonerate Bree, but she won’t allow it because it will show everyone that Gabby and Carlos are guilty.

Mary Alice talks about guilt and junk just like she always does.  She throws in some disappointment, just because she can.  Gabby shows up at the courthouse to talk to Bree and thank her for her sacrifice for Gabby and her family’s sake.  She tells Bree that she’s a much better person than Gabby could ever hope to be.

“Thank you for saying that, because it’s so f**king true.”

Next week:  The last two episodes!  The last two recaps!

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