Kim and Kroy are planning their once-in-a-lifetime-this-time wedding, so it’s time to check in for more wig-tastic adventures. In prior episodes, we’ve been along for the ride while Kim searched for her dream dress, the cake, the rings, met with her wedding planner and the bottom of the money well.
There’s no rest for the weary as there are still many things left to do. This week, the couple meet with the caterers and whip the wig situation into shape.
Just like last week, this episode opens with Kim feeding K.J. his new diet of human food. The scarf diet, while full of fiber, was becoming too expensive to maintain. While feeding K.J., Kim tells him that his Nana, Karen, is always trying to control things. Kim says that won’t happen this time, though, because his mommy is in charge. K.J. is becoming increasingly annoyed about these morning talks. Unfortunately, his words aren’t formed yet, so he must rely upon his death stare to shut her up.
Do you see me, woman? Do you see me staring into your soul?
Kim is helping Brielle get ready for her first Homecoming dance by doing her makeup. Karen drama is starting already by sending a text to Brielle that Kim wouldn’t let Karen come to visit before the dance. Kim says that’s a lie. Brielle calls Nana, but by then, it’s too late for Nana to make it. Remember how long it takes her to deodorize?
Brielle is interrogated about the young man she has been dating for the past couple of months. Kim gives some warnings that he better keep his paws off of Brielle. There’s an NFL football player in the makeup room, so hopefully, the point is crystal clear.
But it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives ya momma insa-a-a-a-a-ane!
Around 100 kids and parents are expected to arrive for a group photo in a matter of minutes, so Kim needs to quickly squeeze in her “talk” and secretly beg Kroy to sneak into the dance to look for butt grabs. Kroy also demonstrates proper and improper dance moves by grinding on her momma. Ain’t nothing creepy about that.
Ariana: Mommy, look how pretty Brielle is!
Kim: Zip it. I see an apparition of Big Poppa.
Brielle heads to her room to get dressed. When she comes down the stairs, everyone is stunned to discover that Brielle is wearing the (wedding) dress that Karen wanted.
What’s with the Bjork dead bird dresses? Doesn’t PETA protect birds?
Everyone heads out to the basketball court for the large group photos. Brielle and her date look almost cute enough together to forget that this is Kim’s tawdry ego show. Everyone is happy, except for the guy in the yellow jersey. I have to think he Mpmust really, really hate Bjork.
Back to the wedding planning and time to go over the to-do list with Kroy. Kim warns that Colin Cowie is coming in for the menu sampling. Kim is not about to have a repeat of the awkward mess that the first meeting turned into. Even though Karen has taken a day off from harpie duties, Kim has decided–and Kroy agrees–that it is best to lie to Karen and tell her that the tasting has been rescheduled. They are so happy that Karen didn’t answer phone, which makes lying so much easier.
The kitchen is a beehive of activity with the caterers creating the tasting menus for the bride and groom. Colin Cowie arrives to help them decide which menu is best suited to the tastes of their guests. Kroy can’t figure out what that meaty crouton, tofu-ish thing is on his plate. Colin helps him out by telling him it’s foie gras–more specifically, duck liver. Buh-bye foie gras. No likey.
I hope this arsenic soup kicks in soon.
If you like it, spread it!:
17 Comments
@BelowSeaLevel When I saw you’d turned Wedding Wig into an Official TVgasm click tag I got a psychic chill!
Because the minute I got done watching the show I came straight here. Hoping your recap would be up. And to make this comment:
I hope people start hollering Wedding Wig now. Like COCK! and I hate Teresa!
Did Derek J get new fake moobs?
Maybe one day Wedding Wig can be embraced like COCK!
I’ll have to go back and give those moobs a better look. I couldn’t look away from his legs. I felt kinda bad for Derek J getting The Creature from the Wig Lagoon edit creeping out from the woods.
I’m still waiting to see Kim without a wig and hoping it will be as horrific as I’m imagining.
BSL, didn’t you see the pix we were talking about last week. At leat one wig less pic seems to be all over the net.
Loved the pup-in-wig. So cute. Even the least dignified dogs are above that nonsense though, poor thing.
Thanks, Snowshoecat. I just looked at the links. She looks great in the one with her daughter, but the one of her in bed is more like what I was expecting. It will be interesting to see if they really show her with her natural hair or pull something like have a net over her hair or in a ponytail.
Chanel is adorbs in her wig–humiliated but adorable.
Isn’t it interesting that Kray-Kim surrounds herself with cuties –baby, pup & hubby– and only manages to emphasize what an idiot she is. They just manage to look cute. Especially the pup & the baby.
I hate to defend Kim, but one of the reasons she was pissed at her mom and wanted an apology was that mom blew off the mother of the bride dresses with Kroy’s mom. His mom doesn’t want her to marry him and that makes her look worse. Loved the puppy in the wig.
@magrinch, you have a point, but if you want to chastise and disagree with your mom regarding her behavior, don’t do it on speakerphone with your meathead fiance piping up on your behalf.
@magrinch– I agree– Mother Kroy doesn’t want her son marrying white-trash Kim. He (and his family) seem like nice folks and this whole reality TV thing isnt for them. I’d guess the inappropriate topless pix also that are place so decorously thru out the manse.
I loved his Mom looking askance at Kim saying that she could buy pre-chopped onions at the market, but Moms is whipping out canned broth for the stroganoff– I love his Mom–loveherloveher.
Karen is a famewhore who wants her TV time– what “people” are asking her questions she needs to answer? She is probably blogging, being interviewed (or shopping herself) or what have you about the wedding. It will resolve itself–the woman wants to be on TV and this is the only way.
HotC, in her defense, good broth takes lots of time and effort, as you well know. I can’t imagine finding any ingredients to make a decent broth in Kimmy-Poo’s kitchen. Can you?
Not unless you can add water to take-out food and let it cook down and then strain it to make a broth…
Poor Kroy’s family. You know he had to have been raised better than this…
Nikki— eeeeeewwwwwwwww!
As moms we dream of our kids growing up and getting married. If our marriages are good we want them to be like ours, if not, we want them to be better. Okay that was sexist. Dads want the best too, but not quite in the same way.
Can you imagine your son bringing THAT home? Talk about your biggest nightmare. Even some little pole-jockey can be kept secret to some extent. But THAT?
And now TWO kids by her. He better be making LOTS of GREAT investments while he has the capacity to earn (if she hasn’t spent it all by now and pushed them into debt). When the money is gone, she’ll be gone. He seems like a good guy who will end up with nothing. If that were my son it would be killing me. His financial future would have been set had he stayed away from a bad marriage with a gold digger. Ugh!
BSL, thanks for the comical spin on the bizarre and wicked Kim. She has to antagonize everyone, even the poor dog.
It will be interesting to see how people feel about Kim and her mother as the wedding gets closer. I’m still looking forward to Kim without a wig and the dog, Chanel, in her wig and gown. It should be fabulous!
BSL, and you will be there so we won’t have to be. Oh thank you!!!!!!!!!!! We just get the best parts, fed from you.
Glad to be of service. My pleasure! xoxo!