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Kim gets a call from Alexis that the local florist has backed out at the last minute. At least for the moment, the dripping candle supplier is still on board. While listening to the whining, Jen gets a call from a friend and takes the opportunity to get the hell out of dodge. It annoys Kim that Jen would not want to sit there for hours watching Kim’s melons getting painted. That Jen is so selfish!
The photographer moseys on down from the bar where he was knocking back a bottle of Patron with Jen earlier. Kim is now complaining about stuff not going according to plan and that the photo shoot is the last thing on her mind, but as she talks about it, she lights up when she remembers how sexy she is.
The next day, with only three days left until the wedding, Kim arrives blindfolded at Niki’s home for her bridal shower. Kim’s mother, Kroy’s mother, and Kroy’s sisters are there, along with some of Kim’s friends. Kim says she wasn’t expecting a bridal shower, but instead, thought they were driving her somewhere south of the border. Don’t ever give them ideas, Kim.
To continue the M.I.A. Jen theme, Kim asks where Jen is and finds out Jen will miss the bridal shower due to car problems. This is so upsetting to Kim that her best friend would break her car just to avoid the bridal shower. Unfortunately for the wholesome folks visiting from Montana, Kim asks if people want to see what she got for Kroy. Kroy’s unsuspecting sister is excited. Poor darling had a change of heart, though, after Kim told Kroy’s family that she had Kroy’s jersey painted onto her naked body as she hands them her phone. While Kroy’s family is visibly shocked, struggling to be polite, Kim’s mother is cracking up laughing as proud as can be of her tarty trollop daughter.
Kim moves on to opening her gifts. When she gets to the present from Kandi Burruss, she is hesitant to open it since Kandi owns a line of sex toys. Kandi, you go girl! Karen happily offers to look inside and gives her opinion that it shouldn’t be opened in front of the visiting prudes. Score one for the Biermanns being spared. Kroy’s mother, Kathy, tells Kim to open up the gift from Kroy’s grandma next. Kim asks if it is lingerie from Montana. Turns out it’s not lingerie, but instead, it’s apple butter from the local church’s fundraiser. Gotta love Kroy’s family, but can’t help but wonder what they must be thinking behind those polite facades.
After thanking everyone for attending, Kim asks Kandi to step outside to talk. Kim launches into more complaining and crying that Jen has abandoned her. Kim asks Kandi if she’ll sing at her wedding and says she feels sorry for not inviting Kandi to be in the wedding party. Kandi is not only a talented singer, but also a sweet person and will do whatever Kim needs.
Back at the Biermann estate, Kim is now crying to Kroy about the horrible job that Jen is doing as her maid of honor. Kroy is sympathetic and feels upset with Jen, too. When Kim complains that while her friend couldn’t drive for ten minutes to be with her, Kroy’s friends came in from Montana. Kroy says that they must do a better job of raising people in Montana, to which Kim agrees. Has she forgotten that they chop real onions and make stroganoff vittles out of cute animals?
Taking a break from the drama, we get to see K.J. with his sisters, Brielle and Ariana. He is a bouncing bundle of joy while playing with Ariana, but stops when Brielle holds him. The sisters playfully argue about whose name he will say first, but are both disappointed when the first word he yells is “Taxi!”