Drag Race All-Stars Finale Recap: Why Jessica Wild is on My Sh*tlist

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Thursday, November 29, 2012 | 5:08 pm | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Drag Race, Recaps

Raven tends to be told she looks like Kris Jenner, but I think Raven probably blends her makeup more than Kris. 

And looks more like a natural female.

Next, the girls have to make acceptance speeches as a burger is named after them.  Until then, they must ride in a crazy-fast SUV while they change their looks.  They arrive at Hamburger Mary’s in West Hollywood where they will accept their very own signature hamburger.

Chad is very professional, Raven is a little raunchy, Juju is her usual steamy self, and Shannel tears into her burger like a man.

Delta tells the girls that he remembers having to be funny in his season and how he learned that what we personally find funny is totally different from what everyone else finds funny.  Boy, do I hear ya’, girl.  They ask what she did when that happened, and she reminds them she was sent home.  Dun dun dunnnnn.

At The Comedy Store, the ladies hang back stage while RuRu introduces the first comedienne – Jujubee.  Juju is killing it with glitter afterbirth and her name being mispronounced by her saggy-boobed grandma.  Ah, Asian parents are always a hit at the comedy shows. 

Chad hits the stage, kills it and doesn’t stop until the buzzer sounds.  She’s awesomely funny making fun of herself and shady Mexican surgeons.  She went over her time, but I don’t think that’s really going to matter too much.

Raven comes out and is able to be quite funny about her jailhouse whore experiences.  She’s doing better than Chad and Juju, simply because she’s not throwing out one-liners, but is delivering a solid story that you would hear from any professional stand-up comedian.

Shannel sounds like a dude when she first comes out and just continues to plummet.  She definitely benefits from a very warmed-up audience full of enthusiastic pity laughter.

You see this afro on my head.  It’s an afro, because I’m black and it’s blonde because I’m white.  Get it?

I say round 3 goes to Raven.  By a comfortable margin.

Back in the workroom, the girls discuss the amount of pressure they are under on this special season of Drag Race.  Chad claims to be the past, present, and future of drag while Shannel thinks her experience as a circus clown alone entitles her to the win.

 Ru comes out wearing a dress made out of Michael Kors’s wattle.

Runway flies by so fast that I can hardly see what each girl is wearing…

…that is, except for Shannel who comes out looking like the lobster who ate New York. 

Everyone loved Chad while Michelle reads Juju for her shoes and interview.  Everyone hated Shannel’s comedy, but Michelle loves her drag.  Raven is read for her makeup during the challenges, but everyone praises her for her drop-dead comedy.  Raven, of course, is able to laugh through the hits at her makeup, because she is a stah, honey!

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

7 Comments

  1. 1
    no name maddox
    Posted November 29, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    shannel should have won. juju and raven couldn’t put decent drag together to save a last cig. plastic wigs and cheap cocktail wear EVERY TIME. and chad…well chad can’t do much about his face, except try painting it differently..but he NEVER does. he ALWAYS looks the same. #TeamSHANNEL

  2. 2
    badgerfreak
    Posted November 29, 2012 at 6:13 pm

    I was super torn between Chad and Raven. I feel like Chad has paid her dues and has earned the right to the title. I want to give a big fat crown to Chad, Raven AND JuJu. Shannel would’ve gone home a long time ago had she not been paired up with Chad. The challenges were all great. Shannel was purely getting pity laughs. The other three were great. Cheri was great as a mentor. I can’t wait for season 5!

  3. 3
    juddfan juddfan
    Posted November 30, 2012 at 11:26 am

    I felt like Chad deserved it, she has been doing it for 20 years, and I think that mattered to Ru. I loved the 3 comedy bits . . . . very funny! I was impressed.

    Enjoy your break, Sugarbush, hope we’ll still see you around in the comments! Mwah!

    I heart Raven, but there’s something muddy about the make-up this time around . . . it doesn’t look tan, or armenian, it just looks kinda dirty-ish . . . is it me!? Her skin in the talking heads out of drag is gorgeous!

    Love her anyway!!!

    xoxo

  4. 4
    VelocityBird
    Posted November 30, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    Chad clearly deserved the win. She had her eyes on the prize from the get-go, and didn’t get distracted by the drama that kept popping up (cough…Yarlexis…cough…) I am so glad that Ru released her from the shackles of Shannel and let her shine on her own. Good going, Gurl!!!

    Raven and Juju are still major forces to be reckoned with, and even without the titles, they will ALWAYS be included in Ru’s Drag Elite.

    I’m totally looking forward to the next season. But I have to say – there’s going to be a LOT of pressure on Alaska.

  5. 5
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted November 30, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    Firstly, Sugarbush, thank you for the amazing recaps.
    I hope you can wrangle your life back under control and return to us soon!
    And I understand totally what you’re talking about…we don’t get paid overtime and all my friends are texting me about happy hour, and yet, I’m still at the office working because I wanted to show off for my boss and bit off way more than I could chew. But I will chew it. And I will do it perfectly or I will die trying goddamnit.

    I was so sad about Raven not winning that I didn’t even watch Untucked.
    The sad thing is that I honestly can’t think of a reason for Chad to not have won.
    Her comedy wasn’t as funny as Juju or Raven’s, but her interview and hamburger speech were the best. Her face and body are always perfect, even if her face does look the same alot. She also has a good heart, even though she was a little cold-blooded to Shannel sometimes.
    Damn that flawless betch.

    But whatever….to me, Raven will always be queen of queens.
    She doesn’t need a crown to prove it, but I will make one and send it to her. She’ll probably be disgusted by it and throw it away, but that’s why I love her LOL.

  6. 6
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted November 30, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    When your drag name = your real name, that shows a lack of creativity. I generally hate Raven but she should’ve won.

  7. 7
    april
    Posted November 30, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    I was out of town so I missed the spoiler. I watched it as soon as I got back. Priorities am I right?

    I am okay with Chad winning. I love him. I was rooting for Juju after Yarlexis left. I love Juju and he is always a runner up but makes such a pretty girl and does some good lip syncing.

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