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We begin our week of Drag Race with the aftermath of last week’s send-home of Team Brown Flowers. At least we’ll be able to figure out what the holy hell the queens are talking about now that Tammie is gone.
Latrice realizes that it was her fault they were in the bottom 2, so she felt it was up to her to save the day. Manila is upset that they won the first week, but got knocked off their pedestal last week. Raven, shit-stirrer extraordinaire, asks Manila if there was ever a moment during the LSFYL that she wanted to push the button. Manila, cool as a cucumber, replies that she’d gone into it telling Latrice she was saving the button because she knew they’d be staying.
Jujubee thinks, as do I, that Alexis should be sucking on some Yara Jr. because Yara is the only reason they did well and won. Just to prove Alexis’s unnecessary confidence, when cutie-patootie Shannel points out that Charo was “everything”, Alexis is taken aback. Girl, you don’t REALLY believe your Shakira was noticeable? It wasn’t even horrible. It was blah. “Blah” and “drag queen” absolutely do not go together.
Ru pops up to give us a She-Mail full of Candid Camera hints. She wants them to take photos of themselves as sexy, hot-blooded hetero males. I foresee like 2 or 3 of these ladies pulling this off and Chad is definitely not one of them. He hits that feeling home by wearing eyeshadow facial hair and quoting Buffalo Bill.
I’m dying watching these queens try to act manly and butch. Yara takes a classic Facebook pose of a pulled back button down, ultra-low-rise jeans, sideways hat, and big gold chain in the mirror. What makes me sad is that is a pose of a modern-day hetero male. Long gone are the days of Clint Eastwood and Sean Connery. Now, it’s all Justin Beiber and that dude with the hair in that bad Next Stage or 45 Degrees or whatever.
Shannel is getting me all excited with his super-cuteness. Alexis looks like that one guy from Backstreet Boys and Chad and Raven look like gay guys trying to look straight. The winners of the challenge are Yara and Alexis! I find it hilarious that the queen of queens is judging this mini-competition instead of having straight women judge. Raven is all disappointed, but there can’t possibly be any way he could believe that he looked anything but gay in his pic.
Yarlexis wins a membership to the Miracle Bra for Penises undies of the month club. I foresee many a bulge in their futures.
And now for the Candid Camera part of the real competition. They’ll have to pull a series of outrageous pranks on regular people on the streets. One queen will be hiding somewhere off site to tell the other queen what to do. It’s basically the premise of Impractical Jokers on TruTv (which is anything but True). The crazier the stunt, the higher the points.