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Friday, February 1, 2013
10:47 am
21 Comments
Tagged: Alaska Thvnderfvck, Alyssa Edwards, beverly hills, Beverly Hills adjacent, Bob Mackie, camille grammer, Coco Montrese, Detox, drag queens, drag race, funny, Honey Mahogany, Ivy Winters, Jade Jolie, Jinkx Monsoon, LIneysha Sparx, michelle visage, mike ruiz, Monica Beverly Hillz, parody, recap, Roxxxy Andrews, rupaul, rupaul’s drag race, santino rice, Serena ChaCha, TV, tvgasm, vivienne westwood
RuPaul’s Drag Race! [Gentlemen] start your engines!
RuPaul’s Drag Race! May the best woman, BEST WOMAN, win!
Admit it, you sing along, too. Although, I’m a crazy enough cat lady that I might actually change “Gentlemen” to “Kitty Cat. DON’T JUDGE ME!
Anyway…Hello again, Gasmii! And I see we’re all so very glad to have RPDR Original Recipe back. The other shows are like Pop Chips: tasty enough and they’ll do in a pinch, but no one’s pretending they’re salt & pepper Kettle Chips. (Not a paid endorsement. I just really like salt & pepper Kettle Chips.)
The season begins, as it always does, with an empty work room. This year’s musical cue is “Clash of the Titans,” which segues into the disco beat as Detox [formerly Icunt] and her giant hat walks in, much like Willam made the first grand entrance last season. Which is appropriate since they’re buds. She acts, she sings, she dances she raps (this is true), and she’s performed with such big stars as Rihanna and…Ke$ha? Okay, whatever. One out of two ain’t bad. But she’s so sure of her superfly awesomeness that they may as well crown her now. That attitude and her friendship with Raja will stand her in good stead with the pearl-clutchers. Can’t wait for the irrational hatred and the rebirth of Heathers v. Boogers because that shit still won’t die.
Cruella deVil..Cruella deVil. If she doesn’t scare you, no evil thing will!
Roxxxy Andrews is next, and my apologies for not giving her a shout out in the minicap. Roxxxy and her boy persona are adorbs and it was just an oversight because, Love. Her. Of course, she’s friends with Detox and they squeal and hug and are so happy to see each other. Squee!
Next up is the now infamous Jade Jolie aka Tristan Everhard aka Don’t Google That Bitch At Work If You Want to Keep Your Job. Of course she’s from Gainesville. She looks like a twinkie little queen I knew back in the day named Cherry Cola. But Cherry didn’t do low-rent, gay, Nazi porn. Jade lets us know that she’s serving tuna on a platter and, well, that’s not what I saw in a gif when I googled Tristan Everhard (thanks for nothing, sarcasatire), but she’s self-described as bubbly and looks like a Claire’s vomited all over her. Detox sasses her while checking out Jade’s ass.
Me? In gay Nazi porn? Pshaw.
A Barbie doll toiler paper cozy comes mincing into the work room. Oh wait, that’s just Serena “PokeSatan” Chacha, 21 from Tallahassee, Florida. Of course, she is. She tries to yap but Detox and Roxxxy just start laughing and hugging and generally freezing her out which she finds “annoying.” HAHAHAHAHAHA. This must be the bitch block in the intros because here comes Alyssa Edwards. She swans in like she’s Lola Falana then she tells us she’s the “Vanessa Williams of drag,” because she’s won pageants and been stripped of her title. Then she strings together a word salad that makes no sense. Her boy faces freaks me the hell out. It’s just so startled-looking.
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21 Comments
WoOhOo so glad ur doing the recaps again Vallegirl!
Early fav is Roxxxy.
I agree with the commenter in the mini who said that Roxxxy could be the first plus-sized winner. She is gorgeous in any form!! Of course, I always have a soft spot for the Puerto Rican beauties, too. Am sore afraid that Ass-lyssa is such a bitch they’ll keep her around to be the bad guy in the finale. Gag – and not in a good way.
here’s the dish on Coco & Alysaa. Alyssa was decrowned apparently doing to much stuff on her own, and not being able to fuilfill the dutys of the winner of the pagent, Coco was the runner up, and got the crown when Alysaa was discrowned, apparently Coco was the one that let the comitte know what was going on, and Alysaa is just a bitter pill about it now.
Agreed that Roxxxy could be the first plus-sized winner. Aside from Season 2, the winner of the first challenge has been in the final two – Nina, Raja, and Sharon all won the first challenge (I just rewatched the previous seasons on Netflix). Also, from certain angles, Roxxxy looks just like Shannel! I know that a lot of people found her to be a bitch, but it’s pretty hard to deny that she was GORGEOUS!
Thanks for that, PP, I was going to ask if anyone knew the stats on that, as I too suspected the winner often wins the first challenge. Just like I suspected the \voted in\ contestant would be toast.
I’m so grateful for your recaps! I’ve been living in a hotel, because life is an unfair bitch, and don’t get LOGO, and I miss this show so much. So sincerely, you are appreciated.
That pic with the Andy Samberg comment was spot on and made me laugh loudly. Kudos!
My captcha was “keyboard cat” so that’s my excuse for any typos or sentences that don’t make sense. It has nothing to do with pain meds. lol
I have one request. If it’s not a total pain in the ass, could you label those runway pics with the queens name? Without watching the show, it’s damn near impossible to know who it is by pic alone.
I do LOVE the judges comments you included though.
@TVKimmy, if you have access to wifi, the full episodes and Untucked are at LOGOtv.com
Cool! Thanks sarcasatire. I owe you one.
Alyssa and Coco dragging out this thing is so stupid.
Every at home knows what the fuck happened already, all we had to do was google.
I wish someone would tell them to stop with the oblique references. Either come out with it or shut the fuck up. Damn.
But that said I do love me some Coco Montrese. Not necessarily as a queen, but her personality makes me laugh.
Still gagging (not in a good way) over the emergence of Tristan Everhard.
But despite what I’ve seen on the internet (none of which can be unseen), I do like Jade Jolie alot.
She’s gorgeous and so feminine in drag, and I love that despite her adorable facade, bitch is not one to be tried. Yasss.
Roxxxy in drag is stunning and out of drag, is one of the cutest little teddy bear chicken nuggets ever. So cute. I just want to smush him.
Alyssa out of drag is so disturbing. She looks like a less attractive Don Knotts.
I remember in her promo picture, how I thought she was so gorgeous….that’s what a good angle will do for you.
When Lineysha said she dresses like a dracula, I burst out laughing so hard.
I forgot Serena’s diatribe about others being jealous because she was 21 and made it onto the show the first time she tried out, I wanted to throw something at my tv because bitch is delusional. Alot of people make it onto the show that really should not be there. Just because yo ass is on the show doesn’t mean that you are on the same level as everyone else there. RPDR always has a few cannon fodder queens.
And I didn’t notice that she hugged her lederhosen monstrosity when she came into the workplace…I guess I was still trying to give her some kind of credit. If she purposefully put that shit together and thought it was good, bitch is even worse off than I thought.
Monica BHz…you in danger girl.
And Lineysha is perfect. She’s my pick for winner…Sharon and Raja were cool and all, but I just love a glamourpuss queen, and would like for one to win this season.
I think Roxxxy and Detox will also be in the finale.
Monica is a stah!
SOO Ready for Serena Cha Cha to cha cha away. To quote from one of my all time favorite drag movies, Torch Song Trilogy, “That queen gives me gas !”. Roxxy is adorable in and out of drag, Lineysha is just HOT ! Going to be a fun season with some really talented and seasoned performers. DeToxx has the potential to be the dark horse in the challenges. Will depend on what clothes they brought and what they are allowed to create.
Detox also apparently did porn, I’d post a link, but it’s pretty dirty. You can google it.
@SarClassy, thank you. That was phab.
I’m a little slow, so it takes me a while in a season to get all the queens, um…straight. But the right one won and the right one sashayed.
Loved the Andy Samberg caption.
My pick for the win is Detox. She’s my season 5 Raven. I can’t wait to see Jinkx falling asleep all over the place. I’m already over the Sharon comparisons. Let her be Alaska. These bitches seem to be out for each other’s blood more so than in previous seasons, at least in the first episode. It looks to be a great season!!
Bless Roxxxy and Lineysha for being cute out of drag, because some of these queens are tough to look at when the make-up comes off. Alyssa struck fear into my heart.
And I know it’s only the first episode but at least 6 of these queens are already basic as hell. I wouldn’t worry about “the competition getting serious” until at least the top 7.
Thanks for the great recap vallegirl and yay RPDR is back bitches !
So far, I have Lineysha, Detox and Roxxy as my top three.
And I agree with you PacoSauce, half of the girls look like fodder this year.
Alyssa is probably our new PhiPhi… that feud with Coco is already getting old.
And I just can’t with Serena. I have never seen someone with so little self awereness.
It’s gotten to the point that I started commenting everything she says with : No bitch… no !
“My outfit is inspired by a movement called soft sculpture.” No bitch… it is not.
“I’m starting with the details, just like you do when you paint.” No bitch… no !
“You’re jealous of me because I’m 21.” No bitch… they’re not.
“Panama is americans’ second favorite location for retirement, you should look into it.” Oh no you didn’t !
And finally, when I saw the final result : Bitch, go to your room and change ! You look like the hate child of a dead poodle and a pinata !
Seriously, everything about that look was terrible. I was so disgusted, it literaly made me gag.
Let’s hope for my mental health that Serena is the next one to go.
Xouille: I think I love you
I watched the first 10 minutes of the episode they sneak peeked today. It is already awesome. I am all about the Detox, Alaska, and Roxxy team. I love the three of them. And unlike the Heathers they just are friends but still talk to the other girls like Monica and be nice to them.
I agree with Roxy & Linesyha being cute out of drag, but what about Ivy Winters, he’s hot as hell imo.
^ Yeah, he is!
I forgot all about him honestly, but he’s cute as a button.
Ohohoho, how the tables have turned in the space of several weeks…