Last and least, Serena ChaCha. Michelle hates the dress because it’s half-assed and the top looks like “boy,” Santino hates the makeup because it looks like someone took the head off of one doll and put it on a GI Joe (heh). He also thinks the collar is hideous. Ru asks her to take it off and Camille gives the standard “You look so much prettier without it.” Serena throws out some more word salad about welcoming their critiques and putting it to good use in the next challenge (Getting ahead of yourself?) and Ru’s over this so she dismisses the girls.
Ru starts in on Roxxxy, but everyone loves her. Santino likes her use of different fabrics, Camille likes the different references she pulled and Michelle likes that she knows her shape. But Ru does have one con…she wanted to see more ass.
I was promised ass.
Moving on to Ivyyy Winterrrrrs and Michelle thought the dress was gorgeous but she hated the hair because the gown was so…eloguent. To Michelle’s credit, she knew she sounded like an asshole as soon as it came out of her mouth and she and Santino have a good laugh at it. Mike wants to show his fashion bona fides and brings up the hand stitching, which is true, but there’s maybe 100 stitches holding that dress together. Just saying. Santino’s stuck in a Project Runway nightmare and keeps asking to see where the “trash” is because it wasn’t unconventional enough.
Ru couldn’t care less since there was no trash in the first place and moves on to Jade Jolie who is wearing the entire inventory from Vine American Party Supplies. Santino tries to be nice and say he can’t tell where her taste level is at but Ru’s pretty sure he can. The Hubbell telescope can tell just how loud and tacky she is. Mike reframes it as Jade being very bubbly and vivacious but agrees that it still sucked.
On to another loser…Penny Tration. Michelle and Mike are still being wishy washy and not wanting to flat-out call her amateur but Santino’s used all his good will on Jade and just RIPS into her about her lopsided padding and thinks it’s not too much to ask her to get the silhouette right. Ru heartily agrees, because being big isn’t an excuse to half-ass it. Camille’s less concerned with the padding than the sooty sideburns she painted on with her shading. But Michelle, sadly, points out that the makeup was actually the best part. Sad horns.
Now can I be an asshole?
Alaska’s next and Mike calls her out for being a brat at the photo shoot but he was pleased with the dress, except it needed a slit so she could walk. The only thing Michelle wanted for the look was a pair of sparkly earrings but Ru rightly points out that not everyone’s from Jersey. Michelle’s totally crushing on how pretty Lineysha is, but also that she made that flamenco tea cozy out of wallpaper. Camille loves the shoe in her wig because it’s whimsical and Michelle jumps in again to call Lineysha a TP – Total Package. And, well, she is the one who most resembles Ru and we know he’s a sucker for the statuesque glamour queens.
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