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Booze and manflesh time as the Pit Crew bring in their Absolut cocktails so Ru and Mike can announce the winner and Detox can hit on Jason. Ru makes a bunch of water puns that would do a vaudevillian proud then announces that Detox and her visible nipple won! Lineysha is not pleased but Detox says she’s floored and Frankenbytes some reality show clichés about being there to win but doesn’t let us know if she is or is not there to make friends. Then Ru sends them off to get some rest because in the morning they’re going on a Beverly Hills shopping spree. No one really believes that.
It’s the next morning and the queens are standing at a bus stop in their Pretty Woman drag. As Alaska in her French Foreign Legion hat recaps what we just heard a Star Line tour bus pulls up and the girls all pile on, giddy at the idea of a Beverly Hills shopping spree. On a Logo budget. Then, and this is new, they launch into a good, old-fashioned musical number to Ru’s latest song, available on iTunes. While the girls dance and lip synch, and I notice for the first time that with the right (as in wrong) makeup, Serena can look a lot like Shangela which isn’t making me like her, we see them wave to this season’s guest judges including LaToya (yay!), George Whatsthefuckolis, Joan Van Ark, Marg Helgenberger (really?), Mel B, Coco T (!!???!?!?), (Not Downtown) Julie Brown (!!!!!), and yes, Bob Fuckin’ Mackie.
That was fun, but it’s time for that shopping spree and the bus pulls up in front of Marco Marco, which is a real store. Who knew? I figured it was a fake store like all the fake cosmetics companies Ru’s been using. Camille Grammer comes out of the store and welcomes them to Beverly Hills (not even) adjacent but tells the queens that Ru’s waiting for them at the “VIP” entrance. Then she cutes her way back into the store and Roxxxy pops up in interview to give Ru the side-eye.
Roxxxy tells us that when the queens went to the VIP entrance, on a pretty hinky-looking street in “Beverly Hills,” all they saw was graffiti, a dumpster and a big, sparkly, pink alien, or Ru in a big, sparkly, pink HazMat suit. They look the same. He welcomes the queens to the “slums of Beverly Hills” aka the real Hollywood and that since
Logo’s a bunch of cheap bastards “Beverly Hills” boutiques are pricey and throw away better stuff than most of us have in our closet, they’ll be dumpster-diving to get the materials they need to create a Hollywood red carpet couture look.
Ivy gets off a quick and anemic whine about dumpster diving and they’re off. Ru hot foots it out of their way as they descend upon two dumpsters to snatch and grab as much material as possible. Coco and her freaky blue contacts gets her leg trapped, Penny elbows Monica out of the way and poor, narcoleptic Jinkx gets beaned by a dumpster lid. Penny gets the “duh” interview to let us know she’s not going to let any skinny bitches stop her from getting what she needs and then they’re done.