Serena’s over with Jinkx and looking for validation of her awesomeness by humble-bragging that she’s not nervous and doesn’t know if she should be nervous because she’s not nervous and I don’t know why Jinkx didn’t just feign a narcoleptic attack. Monica breaks it down that she best be nervous.
Roxxxy and Penny (???!??!) put on their makeup dresses, only Penny’s is a caftan, and it’s time for Alaska to remind us once again that she’s Sharon Needles’ girlfriend with a penis. While one queen asks the all-important “Who’s the top, who’s the bottom?” question, and we learn that Lineysha tapes down her skullcap to keep her braids up in her wig, Alyssa just jumps in on Alaska hectoring her to know if Alaska and Sharon are competitive with each other, encouraging the others to hector her, too. Shut up, BITCH!
If I can’t win maybe I’ll just beat the shit out of Alyssa and get thrown out.
Alaska admits that they did have problems and fought, but while Alyssa keeps trying to rattle Alaska, Alaska says that once the show started airing she was Sharon’s biggest fan and let her insecurity go. This doesn’t sit well with Alyssa but Alaska just doesn’t want to be the first to go home since Sharon won and she’ll feel like a failure.
Since no one’s been paying attention to her, Serena decides to let out this loud, long, high-pitched squeal, to which Detox plainly states that Serena’s kind of irritating. And by “kind of” Detox means she’s “fucking irritating the shit out of [Detox].” Tell us what you really mean, Detox. Don’t be shy. But this leads into a greatest hits of what a little, and unnecessary, bitch Serena is. First, she responds to Penny’s utterly inoffensive question about where Panama is by telling her it’s a popular retirement location and to look into it. Then when Vivienne (who?) gets off a good read Serena goes on the defensive telling Vivienne she can’t handle not being the only pretty one (huh?) then she and Jade get into it about…her being jealous of Serena being 21 like that’s some great accomplishment. Seriously, she makes no sense.
But whatever, bitches, it’s RUNWAY TIME! Ru’s corseted into a sparkly ice blue dress with matching eye shadow and she’s here to introduce the judges, bi…coastal Michelle Visage, her favorite leading man Santino, fab photographer Mike Ruiz, who thinks it’s still 2003 and says “Wassuuuuup,” and the very glamorous Camille Grammer.
This week’s theme is “drags to riches” as the queens turned “Beverly Hills” trash into Tinseltown class,” so gentlemen start your engines and may the best woman…win!
RuPaul: She has a HUGE opening…weekend and her box office ain’t bad either.
RuPaul: Loofah my ass!
Michelle: Now we know where last season’s back drop went.
RuPaul: The Ladyboy in Red
Mike: The men LOVE ME! The women LOVE ME!
Mike: Ding DING Diiiiing!
Michelle: And now we got bird flu.
RuPaul: You better sissy that walk, girl.
Mike: Somebody blow into those bullhorns.
RuPaul: She’s ready for the casting couch.
RuPaul: She must have a really…big…dog.
Michelle: That’s how she walks to the grocery store.
RuPaul: Lady Miss Kim
Mike: It’s like Shakira meets….
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12