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Again, apologies for not remembering how utterly gorgeous Roxxxy was on the runway. Girl may be juicy but she knows just what to show to look hot. Neck down she was flawless and she looked pretty great from the neck up, too. Lineysha was pretty flawless, too, but she started out with such a pretty, feminine face so not as much transformation, but still a good effort. But, damn, Jade. Letting all those pretty red “paylets” go to waste on that mess. Maybe she should have let Alyssa snatch them up.
So the queens are lined up and ready to hear their fate. Ru calls out Jinkx, Detox, Honey Mahogany, Monica Beverly Hillz, Vivienne Pinay, Alyssa Edwards and Coco Montrese. They’re….safe, and all the queens respond like they were just told they have the clap. No one wants to be safe because, per Ru, “Anyone who says it’s a thrill just to be nominated is a lying bitch.” As the safe queens leave the stage all shamefaced, Ru gets off one last Hollywood cliché then tells them…that’s all.
Back with the best and worst queens and Ru starts with Roxxxy. And broad-shouldered ladies take note: A halter top is your best friend. Michelle backhandedly compliments her that her dress is the one that Michelle would want to wear. Camille compliments Roxxxy on really understanding her body but Ru thinks Roxxxy just wanted to show some ass. Now queens take note on how to kiss ass: Roxxxy charmingly points out that, she’s not sure if they (read: Ru) noticed, but she’s wearing RuPaul’s Iron Fist shoes. That she found in a dumpster.
Michelle tells Ivy her dress is gorgeous but Santino remembers having to make a dress out of a plant when he was on Project Runway and asks where’s the trash since he’s mistaken the challenge for an unconventional materials challenge. Mike’s not used to being too bitchy so he tells Jade she has a soft, pretty voice prompting Ru to talk like a trucker. Santino’s perfectly comfortable being an asshole (even if he’s right) and tells her there’s just way too much. Jade defends herself that it’s just her personality to be a “taste the crazy rainbow” kind of girl. Ru wants to know what the rainbow tastes like. Michelle says “butterflies and unicorns” and Jade realizes she can skate by playing up her adorableness, which works until Ru’s tired of it and moves on.
Penny Tration gets read for her wonky, mismatched hips, her poor slit placement and her black side shading that looks like sideburns…gong. Moving on to Alaska. Santino and Camille thinks she looks gorgeous but ticky tacky Michelle wants to know where her banjee earrings are.
Next up is Lineysha and no one has a bad word to say. Michelle thinks she’s beautiful, Santino loves the shoe in her hair and Camille really digs the shoulder fan. Lineysha jokes that she put it there in case she had to lip sync she could hide behind it and they just find her so charming. But since she’s a taller queen she doesn’t get fawned over like she’s a Precious Moments figurine like Jade.