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Friday, February 8, 2013
12:57 pm
20 Comments
Tagged: alaska, Alyssa Edwards, Coco Montrese, Delta Work, Detox, drag queens, drag race, funny, Honey Mahogany, Ivy Winters, Jade Jolie, Jiggly Caliente, Jinkx Monsoon, Juliette Lewis, Kristen Johnston, LaShauwn Beyond, LIneysha Sparx, Mariah Balenciaga, mimi imfurst, Monica Beverly Hillz, Morgan McMichaels, Mystique Summers Madison, parody, Phi Phi O'Hara, raja, recaps, Roxxxy Andrews, rupaul, rupaul’s drag race, Serena ChaCha, Shangela, Sharon Needles, Tatianna, TV, tvgasm, Tyra Sanchez, Untucked, Vivienne Pinay
Willkommen, Gasmchen! I know it’s only week two, but I have a good feeling about this season. Queens to cheer for, queens to cheer against, porn stars, clowns, underdogs and a tiny Panamanian irritant to unify all the other queens against her. Because the gaggle of tired, bitchy queens that hate together, stay together. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Back to this episode.
Previously, Ru tried to drown the queens and almost succeeded with Alaska then she took them to “Beverly Hills” and made them dumpster dive for their red carpet couture gowns. Juicy Roxxxy won, Serena was a pain in the ass and Penny Tration lost. But she took it like a true blue American: with confusion, disinterest and, well, pretty sure she didn’t have anything else to show…but her family’s proud. Aim for the middle, Penny!
Wah..waaah
Switching things up, we go straight into the episode as the queens go back to the workroom in full drag. Everyone’s sad to see Penny go (i.e. pissed that the Panamanian Pomeranian is still there) and Serena admits that she “stumbled, but that’s okay.” Wait, what? Oh, she thinks destiny, and not her utter lack of talent, put her in the lip synch to show the other queens how talented she is so they’d respect her. Not being a cooze is out of the question, I guess.
Monica’s still being a Shleprock and feeling insecure and for the first time I notice she’s from Owensboro, Kentucky. Gurr…leave. I’m sure there are plenty of lovely people in Owensboro but for reals, it’s not a place where a Latin drag queen can thrive, you know? Coco foreshadows that something was bothering Monica because she couldn’t even relax by being safe. I’m sure that was a complete non-sequitur.
Alaska tries to talk about Penny, thinking she’d turn it out in the lip sync…but the Panamian Pomeranian has lost everyone’s attention so she squeals to ask if anyone was cheering for her. Crickets. Still working under the delusion that she’s cute enough to get away with this shit, she tries to look all sad and asks if anyone wanted her to go home. Detox, to her credit, is not unkind to Serena but still tells her she’s annoying, and Jade’s a little less magnanimous in her interview, telling us that if Serena bugs too much she’s going to smack her like she’s a fly on a cow patty. Why would she be smacking flies on cow patties?
Yip, yip, yip.
Whatever, it’s opening credits time…and they’re cut short so Ru can tell us what the prizes and who the guest judges are. Aw, man. Now I can’t sing them to my cat. DON’T JUDGE ME!
The queens come back to the workroom the next day and Roxxxy, Alaska and Detox announce that Ro-Laska-Tox is in the house…meaning they’ve already named their clique. Anyway, Detox thinks their nickname is the new prescription drug for people who are gagging but Ivyyyyy Winterrrs thinks it sounds like an STD. First of all, I didn’t even know Ivy was a bitch.
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I was saving this juicy bomb for the full recap..we have another porn star! Former, ahem.
http://www.queerty.com/another-rupaul-drag-race-season-5-queen-may-have-a-pornstar-past-20130130/
Link SFW but the link provided in that article is not. *shudders*
Thanks for the shoutout last week, Vallegirl! Now back to reading..
As annoying as the Alyssa/Coco feud is (which I’m sure will just so happen to come light on the episode where one is eliminated), they really turned it out this episode. If you can make Leshawn’s run memorable, then you really deserve the win.
I am going to make it my mission in life to say “Ooooooh…no she betta DON’T!” at least once a day.
Oh…my…god…Sarcastire, that link really, really isn’t safe for work. lmao Wow. I’ll be shaking that one off for a while. I think I had something clever to say, but…wow…um…I’ve lost it.
I also want to say “OH no she better don’t!” all the time. I am talking more and more like a Drag Queen every day. I feel sorry for my husband who has to listen to it.
My capcha is CATS AND DOGS. Serena was the Dog alright and the rest of the felines jumped her shit.
I actually really liked Kristin as a judge. She was definitely harsh, but very on point, and everything she said was pretty true. She can take over for Santino (bahaha, like Michelle would let that ever happen!)
As much as I hate the fights on Untucked, I lived for the Serena takedown. You KNOW she must be impossible if 1) Alyssa and Coco team up to destroy her and 2) she makes you miss Tatianna.
I watched the show at PhiPhi’s former home bar in Chicago, and everyone was cheering at Alaska taking her on. Poor PeePee was basically run out of Chicago, just like she was Texas. Whenever she was on screen last season (or last night) the whole bar would boo. Eeep. Long story short, you are not the only one who still isn’t over hating her.
Final note, I wish just once someone on this show could make fun of an overweight person without having them eat chicken. It’s just lazy. Even the big girls do it themselves in the Snatch Game. There is more to mock than eating chicken. Stop.
Actually, I thought Honey ala Monique was waving around a biscuit. Monique was famous for the “two piece and a biscuit”.
So glad the panamanian pomeranian was sashayed away. (Awesome alliteration, Vallegirl!) She left as clueless as she came into the competition. *shudder*
I am in love with Coco Montrese. I agree … she is yummy!
I watched this live chat the day after the show with Michelle Visage and the eliminated contestant so Serena was on and it had Mimi Imfirst and they even brought on Monica. Serena seemed very sad and defeated. Like I kinda felt sorry for him. When everyone hates you, it has to hurt. I think this will be a good lesson for him. He was not mouthing off at all.
Monica looked beautiful and seemed happy. I might try to catch it again next week if I can remember.
Still reading but had to comment on ” drag Andy Samberg “. HIGH – LARIOUS & so true!
@Jessi, I love Tatianna, so I just think that Serena was just young and unaware of her impact on others, much like Tatianna…. and, as far as the big girls eating chicken, I think it’s used more for comedic effect rather than to be offensive. I’m curious who the Snatch Game characters are going to be this year because there’s such a talented group of queens this season. I hope Coco Montrese does a takeoff of Jackee’s character from 227, Sandra Clark.
@Derek, I don’t think it’s offensive. I just think it’s a lazy shorthand. Like doing the splits and pulling off the wig during the LSFYL, I’m over it.
When Ru asked Alaska why she wasn’t doing Needles in the lip sync skits and Alaska said “I DO Sharon all the time” I spit laughed.
@Miss Molly- I did too! XD I was happy to see that Alaska was a lot more comfortable this week. I felt like I could finally connect with her! Team Rolaskatox!
Since Coco is a professional Janet Jackson impersonator she might do JJ.
All I care about is that somebody (Jinkx) is doing Little Edie. She’s a staunch character. S-T-A-U-N-C-H. “Awwww-nestly. ”
I feel badly that I had to look up who Little Edie was. I have heard of Grey Gardens but really did not know much about it.
April, it know Little Edie is to love her. The documentary seems bleak on paper, old money ‘American royalty’ family disowns daughter after husband divorces her. She and her daughter live together in their sprawling Hamptons mansion, which, 30 years later, is in a state of disrepair. But the spirit and openness of Big and Little Edie and how they’ve adapted to poverty without ever losing their fabulousness and sense (delusion?) of grandeur, makes this docu amazing. Little Edie became a fashion icon, and often imitated..even with a towel on her head!
Back to the recap, I’m loving Coco Montrese. She’s quick-witted, fierce, and I’m sure, beef with Alyssa aside, a very generous and sisterly type of queen. I like Detox, too..porn past aside (Mr. Sebastian Ford, hunty!) But I think Kristen pegged him right when she said he acts like he has it all figured out..we all know Detox takes herself very seriously. And that’s fine, too but own it..don’t unconvincingly call yourself \humble.\
Vallegirl, captcha ate my minicap comment but I said everything you said about Jade. She was loving the Serena pile-on because Serena was someone she could hide behind. I bet once Serena leaves, the girls come for her shady ass. But chances are, after she saw that full-room-read, she will cower in the face of any opposition. Shame, really.
I’m really sad that now there are two queens on this show who I will always picture with dongs in their mouths.
Big fat dongs.
I’m okay with porn pasts but Detox made a song with Willam called Boy is a Bottom. Well, he is too!
@Chaosbutterfly I hate myself for looking at the Jade pics, because I have the same problem with her right now. I can’t see her without seeing Nazi porn.