No time to catfight, though. It’s shemail time. This one’s short and to the point…a queen who doesn’t know her herstory is destined to repeat it. Okay. Can we discuss Ivy’s shoes? Tevas? Really, Ivy? Turn in your queen card, now. Also, nice ass, Detox. Roxxxy’s not the only juicy one.
Whatever, Ru’s here and he’s working the geek chick angle in a plaid suit and bow tie. He congratulates Serena on surviving the lip sync. Serena thinks she’s actually being congratulated but Ru segues into the mini challenge. To make it in the competition the queens are going to have to put their money where their mouths are. Jade’s got this in the bag since she already does.
Oh, wait. The Pit Crew come in carrying a board with pictures of Ru with her mouth cut out. Ru tells the queens that they’re going to have to pucker up and impress him with the power of their pieholes. Ummm, is Larry “Wide Stance” Craig a guest judge? Oh, never mind. They’re lip synching to one of Ru’s songs (available on iTunes) using just their lips. They’ll be competing in three groups with three winners so slather on the hooker red glitter and glossy lipstick, ladies.
First up are Serena, Jinkx, Honey and Alaska and they’re lip syncing to “Tranny Chaser.” Honey doesn’t know the words while Jinkx and Alaska try to act it more than lip sync and…Serena, sadly, does the best. But rather than just call her out, Ru shoves a pink sucker (hehe) in her mouth. While Pit Crew Shawn’s chuckles and shakes his head at exactly what this gig entails, Serena’s very pleased with herself in interview and not so interested in winning the other queens respect, anymore. Good, because she’s not getting it.
Next group, lip synching to “Lady Boy” are Lineysha, Jade, Monica and Detox. Jade and Monica are completely guppy-mouthed and boring. Lineysha’s puts in a decent second place showing thanks to her beautiful, glittery lips and crystal tongue piercing that we see way too much of, but the clear and obvious winner is Detox, who painted a big, pink Joker mouth and worked it like the rent was due. Detox coys that her jaw hurts a little bit.
Final group is Vivienne, Ivy, Alyssa, Coco and Roxxxy to “Peanutpeanutpeanutpeanutpeanutpeanut-pepepepepepe Peanut Butter.” Good luck, bitches! That song was mostly about keeping up with the fast parts and trying not to fall over laughing when Ru decides to do the “Beavis and Butthead” butt dance, but while Alyssa and Coco put up a valiant fight, Ivy’s got some skills that should stand her in good stead with her boyfriend and wins.
Shut up, Beavis…
With the three winners crowned, Ru tells them that the mini challenge was just a warm up for a lip sync extravaganza! They’ll be making their own “viral video” (ANTM All-Stars edition, without the Pot Ledom) recreating classic moments in Drag Race herstory. They’re lip synching the spoken word because Ru is Laura Linney (heh) and this is Masterpiece Theater. Serena picks first and picks Roxxxy who is none too pleased about it while Detox picks “Lasky” and Ivy chooses Lineysha who does a pretty good cartwheel.
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12