Drag Race Recap: Ooh No, She Better Don’t

Recaps

By vallegirl | Friday, February 8, 2013 | 12:57 pm | 20 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Drag Race, Recaps

Vivienne and Lineysha are next and, again, Lineysha’s impression is so eerily perfect I keep wanting to type Tyra instead of Lineysha. I particularly love the unfocused, sloe eyes. She might have been a brat during the challenge but Lineysha didn’t lip synch Tyra, she channeled her.

For real, Lineysha. Knock it off.

Honey and Ivy face off as Morgan and Mystique and while they’re fine there wasn’t nearly enough finger-pointing. Hilariously, Honey thinks she has a good chance of winning because she really turned it out. I love watching delusion.

Monica and Coco do their Jiggly and LaShauwn scene and watching Coco nail the lip synch makes me surprised at how fast LaShauwn could talk when she got heated. She was usually so soft spoken but, damn, that KIKIKIKIKIKIKI she fired off was kind of amazing.

Finally, Detox and Alaska are Sharon and Phi Phi. Alaska’s okay but Detox is fantastic as Sharon, channeling the spirit if not the specific mannerisms and even busts out the fake blood…then makes out with Alaska as Phi Phi to the judges delight.

Some things once seen cannot be unseen.

If I were judging I’d have given it to Detox because her runway was better than Lineysha’s but Lineysha’s performance was just a little better. Meanwhile, no one’s runway even came close to Ivy and her stilts so I’m fine with her team being safe and Lineysha winning. Channeling that much Tyra Sanchez should be worth something. And it is: A “couture latex outfit.” Well, awright awright! Oh yeah, and immunity.

Critiquing the other queens begins…as does Kristen Johnston’s descent into “Shut UP, bitch,” territory. First up, Alyssa Edwards and as Santino tries to compliment her on her great job as Shangela, Kristen busts in to bug out her eyes and say it was better than Shangela. Juliette brings it down to a professional level and tells her she really transformed into the character.

 

Serena’s next and Kristen’s still acting like the drunk cougar down at Callendar’s Grille, honking at Serena about how stupid her tiny flag looks. I don’t disagree but say it with me, “Bitch, shut up.” Meanwhile, Michelle calls Serena out on her granny panties and bad lip synch and Santino tells her it was hard to watch. Over to Roxxxy and Michelle loved her OTT Mariahisms, but Santino thought all the fringe made Roxxxy look like Chewbacca (huh?) and Kristen slurs to Santino to shut up, that Roxxxy is perfection. Again, I don’t disagree with the content, just with her. Was she always this overbearing? Is that why she was Sally?

Kristen tries to shit-talk Jinkx’s crazy, frizzy wig but Jinkx cuts her off by joking that she tried to tease it but she just ended up pissing it off. Heh. Juliette loved her impersonation of Mimi so it’s on to Jade. She’s Michelle’s little pocket pal so Michelle overstates that she was “hilair” while Juliette gives her the good advice that if she’s going to prance with a whip she needs to learn how to crack that shit. Then she asks if she can say “whip.” Heh, I’m liking the crazy lady from Encino.

Trust me, I know from whips.

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vallegirl
About

Vallegirl has never actually lived in a valley, has a lot of time on her hands and likes to yell at kids about how things were in her day.  Currently in LA, she's also spent a lot of time in the great states of  New York and Florida so she's not crazy, it's just a cultural thing.

20 Comments

  1. 1
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 2:10 pm

    I was saving this juicy bomb for the full recap..we have another porn star! Former, ahem.

    http://www.queerty.com/another-rupaul-drag-race-season-5-queen-may-have-a-pornstar-past-20130130/

    Link SFW but the link provided in that article is not. *shudders*

    Thanks for the shoutout last week, Vallegirl! Now back to reading.. :)

  2. 2
    PacoSauce
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    As annoying as the Alyssa/Coco feud is (which I’m sure will just so happen to come light on the episode where one is eliminated), they really turned it out this episode. If you can make Leshawn’s run memorable, then you really deserve the win.

  3. 3
    VelocityBird
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    I am going to make it my mission in life to say “Ooooooh…no she betta DON’T!” at least once a day.

  4. 4
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    Oh…my…god…Sarcastire, that link really, really isn’t safe for work. lmao Wow. I’ll be shaking that one off for a while. I think I had something clever to say, but…wow…um…I’ve lost it.

  5. 5
    April
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 3:59 pm

    I also want to say “OH no she better don’t!” all the time. I am talking more and more like a Drag Queen every day. I feel sorry for my husband who has to listen to it.

    My capcha is CATS AND DOGS. Serena was the Dog alright and the rest of the felines jumped her shit.

  6. 6
    Jessi
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 5:25 pm

    I actually really liked Kristin as a judge. She was definitely harsh, but very on point, and everything she said was pretty true. She can take over for Santino (bahaha, like Michelle would let that ever happen!)

    As much as I hate the fights on Untucked, I lived for the Serena takedown. You KNOW she must be impossible if 1) Alyssa and Coco team up to destroy her and 2) she makes you miss Tatianna.

    I watched the show at PhiPhi’s former home bar in Chicago, and everyone was cheering at Alaska taking her on. Poor PeePee was basically run out of Chicago, just like she was Texas. Whenever she was on screen last season (or last night) the whole bar would boo. Eeep. Long story short, you are not the only one who still isn’t over hating her.

    Final note, I wish just once someone on this show could make fun of an overweight person without having them eat chicken. It’s just lazy. Even the big girls do it themselves in the Snatch Game. There is more to mock than eating chicken. Stop.

  7. 7
    cbc-cca
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 5:42 pm

    Actually, I thought Honey ala Monique was waving around a biscuit. Monique was famous for the “two piece and a biscuit”.

    So glad the panamanian pomeranian was sashayed away. (Awesome alliteration, Vallegirl!) She left as clueless as she came into the competition. *shudder*

    I am in love with Coco Montrese. I agree … she is yummy!

  8. 8
    April
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    I watched this live chat the day after the show with Michelle Visage and the eliminated contestant so Serena was on and it had Mimi Imfirst and they even brought on Monica. Serena seemed very sad and defeated. Like I kinda felt sorry for him. When everyone hates you, it has to hurt. I think this will be a good lesson for him. He was not mouthing off at all.

    Monica looked beautiful and seemed happy. I might try to catch it again next week if I can remember.

  9. 9
    Chips.N.Whips
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    Still reading but had to comment on ” drag Andy Samberg “. HIGH – LARIOUS & so true!

  10. 10
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 8:24 am

    @Jessi, I love Tatianna, so I just think that Serena was just young and unaware of her impact on others, much like Tatianna…. and, as far as the big girls eating chicken, I think it’s used more for comedic effect rather than to be offensive. I’m curious who the Snatch Game characters are going to be this year because there’s such a talented group of queens this season. I hope Coco Montrese does a takeoff of Jackee’s character from 227, Sandra Clark.

  11. 11
    Jessi
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 8:29 am

    @Derek, I don’t think it’s offensive. I just think it’s a lazy shorthand. Like doing the splits and pulling off the wig during the LSFYL, I’m over it.

  12. 12
    Miss Molly
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 8:29 am

    When Ru asked Alaska why she wasn’t doing Needles in the lip sync skits and Alaska said “I DO Sharon all the time” I spit laughed.

  13. 13
    Sunny
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 10:27 am

    @Miss Molly- I did too! XD I was happy to see that Alaska was a lot more comfortable this week. I felt like I could finally connect with her! Team Rolaskatox!

  14. 14
    April
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 10:50 am

    Since Coco is a professional Janet Jackson impersonator she might do JJ.

  15. 15
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 11:11 am

    All I care about is that somebody (Jinkx) is doing Little Edie. She’s a staunch character. S-T-A-U-N-C-H. “Awwww-nestly. ”

  16. 16
    April
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    I feel badly that I had to look up who Little Edie was. I have heard of Grey Gardens but really did not know much about it.

  17. 17
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    April, it know Little Edie is to love her. The documentary seems bleak on paper, old money ‘American royalty’ family disowns daughter after husband divorces her. She and her daughter live together in their sprawling Hamptons mansion, which, 30 years later, is in a state of disrepair. But the spirit and openness of Big and Little Edie and how they’ve adapted to poverty without ever losing their fabulousness and sense (delusion?) of grandeur, makes this docu amazing. Little Edie became a fashion icon, and often imitated..even with a towel on her head!

    Back to the recap, I’m loving Coco Montrese. She’s quick-witted, fierce, and I’m sure, beef with Alyssa aside, a very generous and sisterly type of queen. I like Detox, too..porn past aside (Mr. Sebastian Ford, hunty!) But I think Kristen pegged him right when she said he acts like he has it all figured out..we all know Detox takes herself very seriously. And that’s fine, too but own it..don’t unconvincingly call yourself \humble.\
    Vallegirl, captcha ate my minicap comment but I said everything you said about Jade. She was loving the Serena pile-on because Serena was someone she could hide behind. I bet once Serena leaves, the girls come for her shady ass. But chances are, after she saw that full-room-read, she will cower in the face of any opposition. Shame, really.

  18. 18
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    I’m really sad that now there are two queens on this show who I will always picture with dongs in their mouths.
    Big fat dongs. :(

  19. 19
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    I’m okay with porn pasts but Detox made a song with Willam called Boy is a Bottom. Well, he is too!

  20. 20
    MellyMel
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 7:19 am

    @Chaosbutterfly I hate myself for looking at the Jade pics, because I have the same problem with her right now. I can’t see her without seeing Nazi porn.

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