Hey hey hey, Gasmii! We’re halfway through and I thought I’d take a stroll down memory lane and remember when I thought Roxxxy was adorable, Jinkx was full of herself and preferred Coco to Alyssa. This is why I don’t gamble. At least my opinion of Serena “Myron” Chacha was right.
Meanwhile, back in the present, Rolaskatox was working everyone’s last nerve by naming their clique and yelling it CONSTANTLY, Jinkx had, and still has, narcolepsy, Coco was a selfish, childish asshole, Ivy could sang, Jade could not and she went home.
Bye, gurr. Bye.
Queens come back to the workroom and Coco puts on a good show about being sad that Jade’s gone and that she’s not going to lip synch again so those other bitches better watch out, but whatever. We know the next challenge she doesn’t like she’ll just pout and passively agress her way through 259 Nothings and I’m fines and fuck over whomever she’s working with.
Editors are tired of her same old same old because they superimpose a loud, braying cackle from Jinkx so they can congratulate Ivy. Jinkx, who’s probably a sheet and a half to the wind, kind of meanders around saying she was hoping she could win two in a row but Ivy earned it and always looks amazing on the runway and and and…Roxxxy’s here to piss all over her and make fun of Jinkx because Roxxxy’s the Phi Phi. She thinks Jinkx is faking her insecurities and is “fixing” to call her out. Who are you, Aunt Bee?
And then I’m fixin’ to bake a cherry pie.
Alaska starts dropping anvils wondering if everyone’s won a challenge but her. No, Coco hasn’t won one either. Alaska feels the pressure because Sharon won four challenges to her none and tells us in interview that it’s time she stops being the supporting cast. As Roxxxy and Detox announce Rolaskatox and make me want to stab myself in the ears NEVER TO HEAR THAT AGAIN Alaska, in interview, kind of agrees and says it’s time to stop playing that game. Good timing, Alaska.
Queens come into the workroom and while Detox and Roxxxy half-heartedly twist that damn knife into my back just a little bit more, Alaska comes in and announces herself. Roxxxy’s all “what?” in interview but, let’s be honest, she’s not the brightest bulb in the pack. The producers were probably explaining where babies come from. Alyssa, bless her crazy, instigating heart, swans across the room saying “Oh, she said ALASKA…did your friend leave y’all?” Then cocks her head all pretty.
Detox aims for Faye Dunaway, and kind of gets there (well, Barfly Faye, anyway), when she slinks over all shoulder and says, “No more Rolaskatox,” like she knows Alaska’s Fredo. Alaska reminds Detox that cliques are dangerous in a competition but Detox really wants to be dead to me and says she guesses it’s Rotox now. Please stop.
IF ya want mah body, AND ya think I’m sex-ay…
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