Drag Race Recap: Puuuuuh…

Recaps

By vallegirl | Friday, March 15, 2013 | 9:18 am | 22 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Drag Race, Recaps

Hey hey hey, Gasmii! We’re halfway through and I thought I’d take a stroll down memory lane and remember when I thought Roxxxy was adorable, Jinkx was full of herself and preferred Coco to Alyssa. This is why I don’t gamble. At least my opinion of Serena “Myron” Chacha was right.

Meanwhile, back in the present, Rolaskatox was working everyone’s last nerve by naming their clique and yelling it CONSTANTLY, Jinkx had, and still has, narcolepsy, Coco was a selfish, childish asshole, Ivy could sang, Jade could not and she went home.

Bye, gurr. Bye.

Queens come back to the workroom and Coco puts on a good show about being sad that Jade’s gone and that she’s not going to lip synch again so those other bitches better watch out, but whatever. We know the next challenge she doesn’t like she’ll just pout and passively agress her way through 259 Nothings and I’m fines and fuck over whomever she’s working with.

Editors are tired of her same old same old because they superimpose a loud, braying cackle from Jinkx so they can congratulate Ivy. Jinkx, who’s probably a sheet and a half to the wind, kind of meanders around saying she was hoping she could win two in a row but Ivy earned it and always looks amazing on the runway and and and…Roxxxy’s here to piss all over her and make fun of Jinkx because Roxxxy’s the Phi Phi. She thinks Jinkx is faking her insecurities and is “fixing” to call her out. Who are you, Aunt Bee?

And then I’m fixin’ to bake a cherry pie.

Alaska starts dropping anvils wondering if everyone’s won a challenge but her. No, Coco hasn’t won one either. Alaska feels the pressure because Sharon won four challenges to her none and tells us in interview that it’s time she stops being the supporting cast. As Roxxxy and Detox announce Rolaskatox and make me want to stab myself in the ears NEVER TO HEAR THAT AGAIN Alaska, in interview, kind of agrees and says it’s time to stop playing that game. Good timing, Alaska.

Queens come into the workroom and while Detox and Roxxxy half-heartedly twist that damn knife into my back just a little bit more, Alaska comes in and announces herself. Roxxxy’s all “what?” in interview but, let’s be honest, she’s not the brightest bulb in the pack. The producers were probably explaining where babies come from. Alyssa, bless her crazy, instigating heart, swans across the room saying “Oh, she said ALASKA…did your friend leave y’all?” Then cocks her head all pretty.

Detox aims for Faye Dunaway, and kind of gets there (well, Barfly Faye, anyway), when she slinks over all shoulder and says, “No more Rolaskatox,” like she knows Alaska’s Fredo. Alaska reminds Detox that cliques are dangerous in a competition but Detox really wants to be dead to me and says she guesses it’s Rotox now. Please stop.

IF ya want mah body, AND ya think I’m sex-ay…

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vallegirl
About

Vallegirl has never actually lived in a valley, has a lot of time on her hands and likes to yell at kids about how things were in her day.  Currently in LA, she's also spent a lot of time in the great states of  New York and Florida so she's not crazy, it's just a cultural thing.

22 Comments

  1. 1
    April
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 10:11 am

    Great recap! I am so with you on that first paragraph. Man oh man!

    Ashamed to admit I like the Willow Smith song…..that shame of it all!

    I am with you on the Jeffery Moran loathing. He is just not once been kind or funny or anything. Blah.

    My captcha is “Wicked witch” so wonder if it is referring to Roxxxy or Coco?

  2. 2
    J-Mo J-Mo
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 10:21 am

    “And then I’m fixin’ to bake a cherry pie.”

    Spitting food cliche achieved because I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING AT THAT. WELL DONE, vallegirl!

    love, J-Mo :)

  3. 3
    PacoSauce
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 10:38 am

    Poor Alaska, she’s the only one left who hasn’t won a challenge. That’s gotta hurt.

  4. 4
    See-Jay
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 11:17 am

    I can see how insincere self-deprecation might come across as obnoxious, but shady? That’s a stretch.

  5. 5
    CoyoteClown
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 11:19 am

    Welp, looks like this is another forum/site that I need to knock off my list. Fuck.

    I am sick and tired of people trying to make Roxxxy the new PhiPhi. I love both Roxxxy and Jynkx (And Alaska, but those are the two important ones to this discussion), and you know what? The worst fucking thing that Roxxxy has said “bullying” Jynkx to date is that she thinks she is being craft and not entirely genuine when she is talking about being so worried about the challenges. She says this ALONG WITH COMPLIMENTS TO HOW MUCH JYNKX ROCKS IN HER CHALLENGES. PhiPhi was calling Sharon a Party City Nobody and convinced Sharon would never win anything. I just, I can’t with the PhiPhi comparisons.

    Roxxxy is more of a Alexis/Raven/Manila mash up, if anything.

    And oh, right. Roxxxy and Jynkx are friends outside of the Drag Race now and have had pictures taken together so it’s kinda fucking obvious that all this drama is about 50% editing 50% stress.

    I mean, hell. In comparison to what Roxxxy has said about Jynkx vs. what others have said? CoCo called Jynkx hot garbage.

    Anyway, yeah. Enjoyed this recap up until this point because I do enjoy ripping on people (And Roxxxy CAN get eye roll worthy at times, it’s not like I put her on some pedestal, nor do I do that with any of the queens I love including Miss Jynkx), but this has just been mean. And really, smacks far more like bullying language than anything Miss Roxxxy has used.

  6. 6
    seepansy
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 11:20 am

    I actually thought this was a great, fresh challenge, so the episode was really fun to watch. Until the end when Coco won – although she deserved it, I guess. I’m with you, vallegirl; I thought some of Roxxxy’s emotion was valid, but some was just a desperate attempt not to sashay. But I was really horrified over her story. While I can understand a mother being overwhelmed with how to care for children, the idea of abandoning them at a bus stop did have me welling up a bit. Love me some Jinkx and some Alaska – want to see them rise above those bitches!

  7. 7
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 11:28 am

    @Clown – don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.
    @Valle – great recap!! I totally agree with your first paragraph, as well. My opinion really has changed on the girls. Your words were neither “mean” nor “bullying” – they were direct quotes and astute observations.

    I am really pulling for Jinkx and Alaska – they both seem like wonderful girls who have had to live in the shadows of other queens for far too long. Am glad they are getting their chance to be appreciated.

    The Mean Girls need to go home. Now.

    Catpcha Code: Which one is smallest? Roxxx or Toxxx? Tee hee!

  8. 8
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 11:31 am

    Sorry you feel that way, Coyote Clown. I don’t know any of the queens I just report what I see and I see someone in Roxxxy who’s obnoxious, thin-skinned but revels in her ability to “read” and be a “mean girl.” Her compliments about Jinkx are not to her face, they’re in the course of calling her shady and fake and not believing her insecurities. She’s shown a lack of consideration for others but wants sympathy from those for whom she’s shown no sympathy.

    I don’t doubt the sincerity of her anger and resentment toward her mother and that infuses the way she deals with others. And if she and Jinkx are friends outside of the show, good for them. But her behavior on the show, likely borne out of her own insecurities, is bullying because it doesn’t allow for Jinkx’s feelings. It’s all about Roxxxy, Roxxxy, Roxxxy. And if you don’t listen and agree she’s just going to call bullshit and make you feel badly about yourself.

    And just because Coco’s worse than Roxxxy doesn’t make Roxxxy a saint. They’re both thin-skinned and mean when they feel insecure. It’s an unpleasant trait. If others are willing to still be friends with them, it’s because they have a better understanding of who they are. I don’t. I only go by what I see and Roxxxy’s been unpleasant almost from the start.

    Hope you stick around because it’s just a stupid TV show that I make fun of. But if you don’t, I’m sorry my recap so upset you.

  9. 9
    NotWithoutMyTV NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    I’m not.

  10. 10
    MsMmm MsMmm
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    Is it just me or does Detox remind anyone else of Adam from Girls?

  11. 11
    Captain Obvious
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    CoyoteClown=Roxxxy Andrews! I see she still can’t take criticism. All of them are clearly jealous of Jinkx because they know she has true talent and is more than just a look. I don’t like the way the others bully her. Knowing what I know now about Roxxxy explains why she’s always so hungry for attention, but that is no excuse to put others down. She is a lot like Phart Phace O’Hara. What happened during the lipsynch was bullshit! She just happens to bring this up when it looks like she could go home. Boxxy and Botox are only nice to Alaska because they don’t see her as a threat. If Alaska ever decides to bring her A-Game, they will eat her alive, too. Keep up the good work Gurr!

  12. 12
    J-Mo J-Mo
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 3:29 pm

    I found it particularly telling when Roxxxy said that she can’t wait for there to be a challenge where you have to look beautiful, because then Jinkx will most certainly be going home. Because “looking beautiful” worked so well for Vivian Pinayzzzzzzz. I’m sorry, but editing is not the reason why Roxxxy is coming off like a giant bitch, her being a giant bitch is the reason. I’m disappointed, because as I said before, I have seen her perform live and she is very talented, but the shitty personality she’s been displaying AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY just reeks of insecurity. In the same way that Phi Phi O’Hara’s shitty personality reeked of insecurity. And we all know the truth… they can’t convincingly paint you as a bitch unless you give them the bitch palette to work with in the first place.

    love, J-Mo :)

    P.S. Great recap, vallegirl, and just follow Kathy Griffin’s philosophy… never apologize :)

  13. 13
    PacoSauce
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 8:53 pm

    And as far as I’m concerned, Jinkx sealed her victory by going successfully glam this week. I really can’t see anyone else touching her now.

  14. 14
    jewel64
    Posted March 16, 2013 at 1:04 am

    I, too, initially liked Roxxy, but once she formed “Rolaskatox”, she became a mean girl and a bully. I don’t think she is as talented as the others; she has gotten away with her loud, obnoxious personality and aligning herself with Detox and Alaska. Her runway is all about showing off her body. I felt her sobbing was rather calculated, because she didn’t break down when she told the girls her story on “Untucked.” She just couldn’t stand the fact that she might be going home. I no longer see her as top 3 material; in fact, I have my doubts about Detox as well. They haven’t done as well in the challenges as I thought they would. Jinkx is truly talented and it’s funny to see how jealous and insecure Detox, Coco and Roxxy are. I would like to see Jinkx, Alaska and Alyssa in the top 3, though most likely Alyssa will go home earlier (hopefully after Coco leaves). Maybe even Ivy might sneak into the top 3. Whatever, I hope Roxxy and Coco go home soon.

  15. 15
    jewel64
    Posted March 16, 2013 at 1:08 am

    By the way vallegirl, great recaps! I look forward to them. Your references are funny and spot-on. And you always seem to feel the same way I do when watching RPDR. For instance, I was starting to get annoyed by the “Rolaskatox” and thought those three were acting like they had the competition already sewn up. Roxxy and Detoxx are especially oozing with hubris.

    Keep up the excellent work, gurl! And no need to apologize to Coyote Clown. If he doesn’t like your ru-caps, then he doesn’t have to read them. I’m sure he can find other reviews to his liking at another website.

  16. 16
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted March 16, 2013 at 10:12 am

    Thanks for all the support. And JMo, of course, Kathy’s right. No apologies are necessary. I just felt badly that ANYONE is taking my recaps so seriously that they’re sputtering with anger because I called someone neither of us knows a bully and an asshole.

    Not that I’m planning on stopping calling Boxxxy a bully and an asshole if she acts like one. My theory for recapping, as in life, is: don’t want to be called an asshole, don’t be one. :)

    And JMo, sorry about making you “spit food.” But I generally get flummoxed writing captions so I’m glad I scored with that one.

  17. 17
    April
    Posted March 16, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    Found this on youtube-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2WN5YrkhQA

    Video of Honey and Vivienzzzzz talking about their elimination.

  18. 18
    Pat Ledoux
    Posted March 17, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    VG, your recaps are AWESOME!!! No need for any apology to anyone. You make me laugh out loud.

    I must agree with you about Roxxxy, loved her in the beginning, but now, not so much. I didn’t like the little clique last season and I don’t like it now, so stupid.

    Coco, blah, go home already. I think I’m a Jinkx fan now!

    Keep up the good work, love your snark, it’s snarkelicious!!!!

  19. 19
    BillB.
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 12:06 am

    Great recap! Boxxy is the epitome of a hypocrite so your assessment is right on. Also agree about Coco, for being the oldest in the competition she has the least maturity.

  20. 20
    Jo
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 7:25 am

    I love that Coyote is so enthralled in this show that she gets enraged by some blogger’s comments…and then can’t be bothered to spell “Jinx” correctly (when it’s in the recap, what, 100 times???)

  21. 21
    juddfan
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 6:22 pm

    Roxxy’s comedy was mean, mean spirited . . . she lost me with that, no matter what else.

    I cannot imagine the absolute horror i would feel being left by my mother, so sad! I do feel bad about that.

    I’m happy to see Jinx rising, that’s more to me than the rest.

    Much love, Valle!!! xoxo

  22. 22
    badgerfreak
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 8:02 am

    Team ValleGirl! You’re dead on with what you say. You call it like you see it, and I have to agree with what you said. Boxxy was sweet in the beginning, and then her early wins went to their head. Both she and Alyssa seem to be fixated on looking sickening and being beautiful. Maybe it’s just me, but I never considered Drag Race a beauty pageant or contest. It’s all about being a well rounded performer? This goes back to Snatch Game and the pretty girl’s inability to pull off a comedic character. How many times has Ru advised them to “be funny!” It’s NOT ever just about looks hunties. This isn’t news.

    I had such love for Detox as well, and while she still has moments of glory, she’s going downhill as well. Team Jinkx and Alaska for the win!

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