Wubba wubba wubba, Gasmii! It’s a new episode of Drag Race and for once I have a perfectly good reason to greet you like that. But first! Previously, some tired crap between Alyssa and Coco, ticky tacky Michelle wanted Jinkx to be more glamorous while wearing acrylic nails herself, Alyssa won and Ru, after waking up from her stupor, sent Honey and Vivi…zzzz home for nearly boring her to death.
Bye gurr, bye. Not you Vivi…zzzz.
Back in the workroom after the elimination and no one cares about Whosit and Stuart Smalley because Roxxxy is so majorly drama queening and getting the vapors about being bottom three that she can’t even wipe down one of the mirrors. She has Detox do it.
Meanwhile Alyssa gives a nonsensical interview about Ru “not playing the radio,” (whuh?) and Jinkx shows some spine when she mocks how SHOCKED! everyone was because Roxxxy was in the bottom three, but she’s not. It would seem that the whole Rolaskatox…thing…isn’t just them being “adorable” but them kinda being assholes and thinking they’re perfect. Who knew people who name their clique are insufferable?
32? I don’t think so.
Alaska switches over to sorta congratulate Alyssa on winning and Alyssa jokingly busts out the Rebecca Glasscock,…or was it Jiggly…whichever mediocre queen and says she wants to send all y’all bitches home. Shady Jade is still picking her scab and has to “jokingly” add that she wished Alyssa had been sent home for calling out her amateur ass. Or something like that. Then she makes a weak fat joke kinda proving Alyssa right. Sorry ‘bout it.
They get into a back and forth over who’s dirty and who would read who and Jade just basically says “Nuh uh,” and “Says you,” and mumbles to herself, as she’s walking away natch, with this snottiest little smirk on her mole rat face. Where’s Tanisha with her pots to force a “Come to Jesus” moment on this one?
It’s the next morning and the assholes announce ROLASKATOX because does an asshole ever know when she’s being an asshole? I might be losing my patience with them. Anyway Detox barely has any time to gloat about two queens getting the boot meaning two less queens in her way before it’s time for Shemail. Which I have now made my phone alarm because who doesn’t want to wake up to Ru yelling “Oooh, girl. You got shemail?”
Stop trying to make Rolaskatox happen. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!
Ru’s clues are all about building stars up to tear them down so they can get reality shows and become famous again, so ladies…get ready for your 15 minutes. Jinkx and her fox stole are excited as Ru comes in all dandied up in red suit and bow tie.
Pit crew walks in wearing zebra print Snuggies and wheeling in a rack with giraffe and pink ones. On a side note, Ivy seems to have a lip-licking issue. Or is just really horny. Mini-challenge is a take-off on the Us Weekly feature “Who Wore It Best.” Queens will have 30 minutes to tart up the Snuggies into something red-carpet ready so ready, set, STYLE!
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