Scramble, scramble, scramble…Jinkx just waited to take the last one and isn’t happy with pink. Hustle, hustle, hustle…Ivy takes her first, tentative steps at establishing a sassy personality but kills the joke when she gets all tongue-tied. Primp, primp, primp and it’s time.
Ru poses on the “red carpet” for the imaginary paps then introduces an Ian Drew person who is allegedly a Senior Editor with “Us Weekly.” He’s wearing the same suit as Ru and awkwardly gets in a plug for the designer before contractually conceding that “Ru wore it best.” And the Tyraisms just keep coming. I’m serious, there WILL be a Pot Ledom challenge before the season is over.
First up, the zebra queens. Coco’s packed a whole lot of tacky into what looks like a zebra bathrobe, Ivy might have won IF SHE BOTHERED TO SHAVE and put on some blush, while Detox slapped on some pink and green Day Glo accessories and called it a day. Ian gives the win to Detox by default.
Next group is giraffe. Lineysha, like Ivy, would have won if she bothered to shave or fix her eyebrows, Roxxxy threw as much sparkly black shit on to dress it up, and Alaska decided she didn’t want to win so she put on a lion’s mask and a corset. Okay, then. Coco tries to throw some shade but she’s not very funny. Roxxxy also gets the win by default.
Finally the pink group. Alyssa actually looks pretty in the pink dress and had time to slap on some make up AND fix her wig, Jade is useless and looks like ET when he was hiding in the closet, and Jinkx…throws the Snuggie on like it’s an oversized coat, grabs a knit cap and coffee cup and pretends to be an Olsen twin, eventually getting Shawn to pick her up because she’s so very sleepy. HA! Alyssa complains in interview that Jinkx didn’t do anything with the Snuggie, she just created a character because that’s what she always does but that’s also called being talented. Whatever, Alyssa still looked the best so she won her group.
Rather than be team leaders the queens just won an “Us Weekly swag bag,” whatever that means, because this week they’re playing…wait for it, wait for it…SNATCH GAME! The queens are all excited because most haven’t a clue in hell how unfunny they are but Jinkx is thrilled because this is what she came to Drag Race to do. Ru tells the queens to “Be fabulous. Be a star. And most importantly BE FUNNY.” I’m sure that’s not foreshadowing or anything so gentlemen start your engines. And may the best woman…win.
Mom was right: Aim low so all your dreams will come true!
Talk turns to who’s doing what and Alyssa questions that she’s doing Katy Perry? Detox proudly says she’s doing Ke$ha, not realizing just what a horrible idea that is, and Jinkx is amused. Alaska’s doing Lady Bunny which prompts Ivy to snort and chortle that it’s very risky. Then scratches her elbow in an aggressively awkward manner. Has Ivy always been this twitchy and weird? Not a read, just wondering.
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