Highlight: Jinkx’s strategic use of that damn magnifying glass.
Lowest light: Detox, desperate to be funny, deciding to PEE on stage. Didn’t she say she DIDN’T want to slander her “friend” Ke$ha too much? Sorry ‘bout it, Ke$h.
So, yeah. That was it. And it was worse than a recap can capture because you can’t put into words the number of times I was slack-jawed in disbelief at just how unfunny most of them were. Especially Detox because she’s buds with Willam. You’d think she’d be quicker and smarter than that. I guess what I’m saying is, I’m not saying Detox rode some coattails to get cast but I totally think Detox may have rode some coattails to get cast.
Next day and while Roxxxy, Alaska and Detox insist upon being dead to me, Shady Jade asks Alyssa if she’s glad she has immunity. Okay, hehe. Alyssa pulls a Miss Jane Hathaway face but admits that she doesn’t do characters and this was going to be her most difficult challenge. Jinkx isn’t buying that line and points out that they all knew they’d need to have a character ready.
In interview, Alyssa has confused winning Drag Race with winning (and being stripped of) Miss Gay America and says no one expects the winner to be a comedian. They expect her to be sickening. The irony that she begat Shangela is not lost on me.
Glamour over comedy.
Backed into a corner and having to explain her own weaknesses, Alyssa turns on Jinkx and tells her, in her PA/nurturing tone that she should have prepared more than just one look for the runway. I’m sorry I haven’t had to bust this out for a while, but “Shut up, bitch.” Shady Jade, seeing a chance to both defend a friend and shit talk Alyssa, jumps in to point out that Alyssa’s runway looks aren’t all that hot, either, then once again makes a comment about how “fat” Alyssa is. They get into it about “Are you coming for me?” “Nuh uh, you came for me when you threw me under the bus,” “Are you intrigued?” (Huh?) “Nonononono, that’s one thing I’m not.”
Jinkx realizes that Jade’s not really defending her and takes over saying she has shown plenty of looks. For some reason, Coco decides to jump in to shit talk Jinkx’s looks, too, saying she’s “All comedy and no glamour,” and again I say, “Bitch, shut up.” Because, clearly, the judges prefer “all comedy and no glamour” to “no comedy and all tacky.”
Let he who is without those contacts cast the first stone.
Jinkx is still frustrated and talks to Alaska about how her entire career she’s had to justify and explain herself even though her drag is completely valid. I thought Alaska would be a lot more sympathetic since, well, she’s Alaska but she couldn’t look more bored if you paid her. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume the rhinestone under her eye was distracting her. In related news, Shady Jade is hovering over Jinkx shoulder in a ridiculous hat.
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