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Ru tells the judges that this week the queens were challenged to dance their (padded) asses off in the drag ballet “No RuPaulogies”, based on Ru’s life…or as he likes to call it “comparing myself to the whole Bible because Jesus was only half of it, and not even the fun half with all the fornicating.” So gentlemen? Start your engines. And may the best woman, WIN!
1 – A Star is Born
Alaska leads off the show as Ru’s mother. She’s stern and her mid-century look is flawlessly frightening. What she lacks in dancing talent she makes up for by hamming it up and not looking the slightest bit intimidated. As an aside, her eyes look really pretty.
2 – Supreme Inspiration
Jade’s cute enough and manages to look star struck while Lineysha, tall, slim, pretty, glamour queen Lineysha who didn’t know a lick about Diana Ross manages to pull off a reasonable “ballet” version of Diana’s signature slinky (non) dancing because…she’s tall, slim, pretty and glamorous.
3 – Party Monster
Ivy’s wig and dress is straight up Bunny since she’s made a few for the Lady herself and while Jinkx doesn’t really try to look too much like Ru, they’re quite cute and funny glossing over what I’ll assume are the darker corners of Ru and Bunny’s escapades on the LES in the early 80s. Jinkx is really settling into the competition and says the other team better not slip on all the pee on the stage because they…pissed all over the competition. Graphic, but I think she feels confident they did well.
4 – Ru vs. Ru
Coco is valiant in her efforts to keep up with Alyssa but this really is Alyssa’s competition. Between the dance training and the crazy face, she kills it. Even the judges give her an opera clap, which is like a golf clap only more sneering.
5 – Supermodel of the World
Detox is a dead ringer for Anjelica Huston in The Grifters but oh, Honey. No. Other than the wig there’s nothing Diana about her. Which is funny because Honey always has a mildly deranged smile on her face to begin with so you’d think it would be easy enough to go completely deranged like Diana. Then she forgets the steps and is just kind of wandering the stage. Detox informs us in interview that it was like carrying around all this extra blubber. Heh, bitch.
6 – All My Legendary Children
Since most classical music is public domain, Ru’s busted out the “Ode to Joy” (I think) as Roxxxy stomps the runway…in a leotard and jelly roll hair…and Vivi…zzzz is there. Travis appears to be trying to urge them along with his chin but he’s not quite as magical as we’ve been led to believe and they just kind of end with a thud and some crazy eyes from Roxxxy.