Then, having not kicked up enough dust with these queens, Ru decides to ask who should go home. Unlike other seasons, no one’s hesitating and it’s pretty much split down the middle between Honey and Vivi…zzzz until they get to Alyssa. Who SHE wants to send home isn’t in the line-up. *gong*
While Michelle is slack-jawed at the audacity Ru just wants to know who she’d choose. Alyssa can’t not be melodramatic so she says, and I quote, “Charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent, um, I don’t see Jade at the same level. He’s kind of a little hokey pokey…this is a drag queen competition.”
Oh, bitch. Oh, bitch.
With that, Ru sends the queens off “to untuck in the Interior Illusions Lounge” (and I love how that phrase rolls off Ru’s tongue like it’s perfectly natural) so the judges can deliberate. They like Jinkx and think she could be a contender if she’d just do a little glamour. Ivy really got Bunny’s nuances then Travis sets Ru up to make a cheap sex joke (the best kind). Michelle’s still WTF-ing over Roxxxy’s leotard and Chaz says she had none of Ru’s “It” factor. Honey was all “whatever.” They can’t heap enough praise on Alyssa’s dancing and interpretation. Finally, they can’t heap any praise on Vivi…zzzz as Michelle calls her “just a regular girl putting a crown on at the mall.” Ouch. Ru’s made her decision. Bring back the girls.
Ru doesn’t even pretend Alyssa didn’t win and announces her right away. She’s won immunity and a custom made feathered “piece” from Mother Plucker. Alyssa’s “at a loss for words” but still jabbering. Ivy and Jinkx are both called safe leaving the bottom three. Both Roxxxy and Detox drop their heads in relief when she’s called safe and Roxxxy actually apologizes for sucking then leaves the stage.
There she is…(Not) Miss Gay America.
That leaves Honey and Vivi…zzzz, which is no surprise because this one had an Acme neon arrow sign pointing at them and saying “Bottom Two” all episode. Vivi…zzzz hilariously says that the anger she’s feeling is preventing her from being nervous, so fuck it. She’s going to do it to the best of her ability because she owes it to herself. HAHAHAHAHAHA. I’ll go polish up her petard so she can foist herself when she’s finished.
So “Oops, I Did It Again,” starts up and, well, it’s not good. They’re both being Pointer Sisters (TM Jiggly) and Ru is not amused. Honey tries a couple of things in fits and spurts but Vivi….zzzz? Awful. But not even in an entertaining way. Just…blah. They finish and the panel’s dead silent except for some tepid applause from Travis because he’s used to working with children.
The moment you knew something was up.
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