Drag Race Recap: We Are the Queens, We Are the Children

Recaps

By vallegirl | Friday, March 8, 2013 | 8:44 am | 13 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Drag Race, Recaps

Where’s the beef, Gasmii? Are you ready for a totally rad episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race? Well get out your acid wash and slip on those jelly shoes, because Ru’s taking us back to the 80s.

But first, previously Jinkx got a bullshit critique (since she won) from Michelle while Lineysha was very pretty but very high so she got the boot. Queens come back to the workroom after panel and are all very sad about Lineysha leaving. Or that she can’t spell “pleasure.” Then they call her “Latino Shade” (because she wrote that on the mirror) and “Beautiful, crafty lady,” like that’s a high compliment, then they all acknowledge and move on.

It was a plaesure.

Moving on to the foreshadowing portion of our program, Alaska asks Detox how it felt to lip synch and she says it was awful and swears never to be in the bottom again, ever. Those not in the clique call out to Jinkx and Ivy, having mopped Lineysha’s stash before she left, drones that it was an amazing performance. Before anyone can congratulate Jinkx, Roxxxy’s honking and braying and herking and jerking around about “DON’T COUNT OUT TAMAR, BITCH,” because she’s like a loud, drag version of that bitch fairy, Tinkerbelle, and she’ll just die if people stop clapping for her.

Jinkx is feeling underappreciated because her friends on the show aren’t a pack of loud-mouthed attention whores so she doesn’t get the same kind of attention Rolaskatox gets. From each other. Because Rotox are so loud and so far up their own (each others?) asses and couldn’t care less how annoying they are. (I am definitely losing my patience with those two.)

Sad Jinkx is sad.

For good measure, Alaska decides to throw away some of her own good will and announces that Rolaskatox is still intact while Jinkx voices over that she is in it to win it and they should be taking her as a threat…then we get a shot of her passed out on a chair in case we forgot about her narcolepsy and how we laughed and laughed at how clueless she seemed in the first episode. Hmmm, we get a Jinkx v. the clique anvil sequence. Let’s see who wins this battle royale?

Next morning and the assholes announce their presence with douche-thority while Jinkx and Jade announce themselves, thinking they’re mocking Rolaskatox but the jokes on them since narcissists are like honey badgers and they don’t give a shit. Alaska recaps that they’re down to eight while Alyssa nonsensically says it’s “balls to the wall…LITERALLY” (words have meanings, sweetie, and unless this suddenly became Killer Karoake, I don’t THINK you’re balls were literally to the wall.)

SHEMAIL! Ru’s clues are all about saving whales and saving face and getting by with a little help from friends with benefits and Ivy is alert! Lineysha must not have left much. Ru’s working some creative director realness with a gray windowpane checked suit and white shirt with print placket to announce this week’s mini-challenge. Since in the bad old days he’d have to slap on makeup however and wherever he could the queens are going to have to apply their slap…in total darkness. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I always feel like, somebody’s watching me…

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vallegirl
About

Vallegirl has never actually lived in a valley, has a lot of time on her hands and likes to yell at kids about how things were in her day.  Currently in LA, she's also spent a lot of time in the great states of  New York and Florida so she's not crazy, it's just a cultural thing.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    Gilty Plezzur
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 9:57 am

    Bye, bye, Jade. On to better things, like starring in the Jodi Arias story. She’d be perfect in that role.

  2. 2
    April
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 11:09 am

    Did anyone else notice Jinxx yawning on the runway? I thought I saw her do it and Michelle made a WTF face. I waited for her to call Jinxx out on it, but it never happened. I am sure it was because of her narcolepsy so it was not something she could help. So I would just overlook it as a judge. Wondered if I hallucinated it.

  3. 3
    michkabibbles
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 11:56 am

    @april-i noticed that, too, along with michelle’s reaction. my thought was that it was on purpose, because she was playing ‘rich bitch’, and it coincided with her saying she’s just so over it-something to that affect. but i did think michelle was going to call jinx out on it.

    after jinx, alyssa is my fave. at least she’s self aware and doesn’t pout, and i love her crazy face and expressions (both facial and verbal). i think she was willing to play this whole fued with coco thing for camp and laughs (like when she was teasing coco about her make-up), but coco is so far up her own butt, she takes everything so seriously. i hope she’s next to go.

  4. 4
    juddfan
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    Somehow this episode escaped my DVR, I’ll have to look for it on On Demand and come back to enjoy this on Monday!

    xoxoxo

  5. 5
    Miss Molly
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    @juddfan – my DVR didn’t tape it either. I had to watch it on LOGO online.

  6. 6
    April
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    I always watch them on logotv.com.

  7. 7
    Kylie
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 4:48 pm

    I knew Jade would get sent home soon, she just always coasted along in the middle. BUT her lipsync was one of the most surprising things I’ve seen on the show in a while. Girl was GOOD. I’m sure as a performer, she’ll do well. Plus, as much as I hated her attitude, she’s gorgeous.
    Coco is annoying the shit out of me, Alyssa (as much as she can annoy me to) was trying so hard to make things work and Coco was having none of it. Come onnnnnnn.

  8. 8
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted March 9, 2013 at 7:55 pm

    I didn’t like Jinkx’s runway at all. I get what she was going for, but her makeup was almost as bad as last week, the outfit and wig were not high-glamour, at least not the kind that Michelle is looking for, and I really didn’t like her yawning.
    I know why she did it, but still…it just wasn’t the right thing at the time.
    I wish she would make good friends with Ivy and get some makeup tips.
    Remember how tragic PhiPhi looked at the beginning of the season last year? By the end, she looked so much better all around, because she got help from Kenya Michaels with her makeup.

    My only irritation with Alaska is that I don’t see her trying enough. I think part of why she makes everything into a joke or just plain gives up is because she’s afraid to put everything into it and end up looking foolish (which is ridiculous because she’s a freaking drag queen), or failing. The only exception I can think of is the ballet challenge. And I guess she took a risk on the kid show challenge too, even though it didn’t pay off.
    But generally, she doesn’t put herself out there enough, especially in the mini-challenges. I know that they aren’t as important as elimination challenges, but they matter because they are still an opportunity to show Ru who you are and what you can do. She really should be less self-conscious and relax.

    I’m glad that Jade went home because she’s beautiful but lame. But I was also very pleasantly surprised by how good her lipsync was. Coco is an excellent lipsyncer and given her age, I think she just had a much better connection to it, so I didn’t expect Jade to actually stay, but it was far from the blowout that I expected.

  9. 9
    badgerfreak
    Posted March 11, 2013 at 6:48 am

    I would agree with Vallegirl that Rotox brings out the worst in each other. They are much better peopl when not paired off together. Or at least Detox is.

    Coco needs to go. As much as Jade had been coasting, I was honestly a little surprised she went home. This was Coco’s second time in the bottom, Jade’s first. And Coco has had some serious attitude issues, that she has been called out for on the runway, a couple of times. Unacceptable behavior. She’s gosta go soon!

    Every week, I love Jinkx more. She’s such a doll. I get the “glamor” that she’s trying to portray. She needs to understand that what Michelle is looking for, is MODERN glamor, not vintage. While I think her vintage glamor is beautiful, it’s not what the judges are asking of her.

  10. 10
    ConfusedinCanada
    Posted March 11, 2013 at 7:54 am

    I have to wonder if Alaska being on this show so soon after Sharon winning was a mistake. It seems that she is comparing herself to Sharon inside her own head. She might have done better on a later show.

    Jade is truly a beautiful queen and I hope she goes far in her career.

    Now I wasn’t a Jinx fan at the beginning but damn I love that girl.

  11. 11
    April
    Posted March 11, 2013 at 11:44 am

    Can’t wait for the new episode! I already saw the first 10 minute preview and Reading is FUNDAMENTAL dahlings!

    This could be Alaska’s challenge to win because she can be pretty funny.

  12. 12
    Sunny
    Posted March 11, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    “Reading is FUNDAMENTAL dahlings!”

    :D Yesssss!

  13. 13
    Sammi
    Posted March 12, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    Omg, Alyssa Edwards and Ivy Winters <3333
    Ivy's smile… I'm gonna die!

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