Drag Race Recap: We Are the Queens, We Are the Children

Recaps

By vallegirl | Friday, March 8, 2013 | 8:44 am | 13 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Drag Race, Recaps

That hubris wave is cresting and they’re just so very high on themselves that Detox can’t even be assed to look at Ru who’s face is all “WTF?” Meanwhile, Coco and Alyssa duh that their lyrics don’t even make sense because if you can’t get a gig you can’t get a lace-front because they’re expensive. Heh.

Alaska sings her line about tucking her junk and getting out on that fucking runway and Ru’s seriously rethinking this cast and how they can’t even get the simplest directions right but emphasizes that they’ll be singing the G-rated version, right? RIGHT?????!??!?!!

Damn, gotta get a Plan B.

Ru calls the queens to tell them that the video will debut on the main stage and special guest judges will be three “amazing” women who appeared on the original “We Are the World,” Anita and Ruth Pointer (Do you think they know what their name means in drag culture?) and LaToya Jackson. Runway theme is “highlight your best body part,” and how many queens do you think will say “Screw that,” and just wear an ass-out dress? But whatever, just don’t fuck it up, okay?

Time to record the song and the lovely Lucian has his big boy shirt and tie on. But is still pinchably cute. He’s in a good mood when he tells the queens that they’re also recording a live video then teases Coco that she’s under some pressure to start things off.

 

Straight away Coco’s being pissy with Lucian, “thanking” Detox in the most high-pitched, clipped voice that’s just begging for a fight. Detox is ignoring her so Lucian’s asks if anything’s wrong. “NO, nothing!,” Poor Lucian’s already cycled through his first 15 WTF? faces and they haven’t even started yet. Detox jumps in all “What? Huh?” so Alyssa grits that they’re ready.

Coco tells us in interview what she should have said before they recorded, that she’s pissed and nervous about going first, but instead she reedily warbles a line about losing all hope today. While she punches her thigh, Lucian jokes that she really lost all hope there because Lucian can’t read body language very well. Coco’s not getting anything, even how to hold the head phones, so Lucian has to remind her to move them to her other hand so we can “see her beautiful face,”

She’s a PRO-FES-SION-AL!

Indeed. Alyssa sucks but we all knew that, including Alyssa, so she’s just trying to ham it up and save what she can so she doesn’t have to lip synch. Coco, on the other hand, is still fuming and stomping and begging people to ask her what’s wrong so she can pinch out a clipped ‘NOTHING.” Man, she’s awful. Moving on to Jinkx, Ivy and Jade.

Jade starts them off and she’s terrified. Her voice is tiny and she’s staring at the floor so Lucian has to ask her why. Clearly the power of his adorableness is strong because she gets all flustered and girly. Heh. Moving on to Ivy. She’s great and Lucian has a bona fide, honest to god, happy smile because this is the first time in three seasons that he hasn’t had to cringe and lie and coax something out of the hopeless queens. He claps and tells her she did a great job and, like Jade, she gets completely flustered and giggly because the cute boy LIKES HER!!!!

He likes me…he really likes ME!

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vallegirl
About

Vallegirl has never actually lived in a valley, has a lot of time on her hands and likes to yell at kids about how things were in her day.  Currently in LA, she's also spent a lot of time in the great states of  New York and Florida so she's not crazy, it's just a cultural thing.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    Gilty Plezzur
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 9:57 am

    Bye, bye, Jade. On to better things, like starring in the Jodi Arias story. She’d be perfect in that role.

  2. 2
    April
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 11:09 am

    Did anyone else notice Jinxx yawning on the runway? I thought I saw her do it and Michelle made a WTF face. I waited for her to call Jinxx out on it, but it never happened. I am sure it was because of her narcolepsy so it was not something she could help. So I would just overlook it as a judge. Wondered if I hallucinated it.

  3. 3
    michkabibbles
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 11:56 am

    @april-i noticed that, too, along with michelle’s reaction. my thought was that it was on purpose, because she was playing ‘rich bitch’, and it coincided with her saying she’s just so over it-something to that affect. but i did think michelle was going to call jinx out on it.

    after jinx, alyssa is my fave. at least she’s self aware and doesn’t pout, and i love her crazy face and expressions (both facial and verbal). i think she was willing to play this whole fued with coco thing for camp and laughs (like when she was teasing coco about her make-up), but coco is so far up her own butt, she takes everything so seriously. i hope she’s next to go.

  4. 4
    juddfan
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    Somehow this episode escaped my DVR, I’ll have to look for it on On Demand and come back to enjoy this on Monday!

    xoxoxo

  5. 5
    Miss Molly
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    @juddfan – my DVR didn’t tape it either. I had to watch it on LOGO online.

  6. 6
    April
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    I always watch them on logotv.com.

  7. 7
    Kylie
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 4:48 pm

    I knew Jade would get sent home soon, she just always coasted along in the middle. BUT her lipsync was one of the most surprising things I’ve seen on the show in a while. Girl was GOOD. I’m sure as a performer, she’ll do well. Plus, as much as I hated her attitude, she’s gorgeous.
    Coco is annoying the shit out of me, Alyssa (as much as she can annoy me to) was trying so hard to make things work and Coco was having none of it. Come onnnnnnn.

  8. 8
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted March 9, 2013 at 7:55 pm

    I didn’t like Jinkx’s runway at all. I get what she was going for, but her makeup was almost as bad as last week, the outfit and wig were not high-glamour, at least not the kind that Michelle is looking for, and I really didn’t like her yawning.
    I know why she did it, but still…it just wasn’t the right thing at the time.
    I wish she would make good friends with Ivy and get some makeup tips.
    Remember how tragic PhiPhi looked at the beginning of the season last year? By the end, she looked so much better all around, because she got help from Kenya Michaels with her makeup.

    My only irritation with Alaska is that I don’t see her trying enough. I think part of why she makes everything into a joke or just plain gives up is because she’s afraid to put everything into it and end up looking foolish (which is ridiculous because she’s a freaking drag queen), or failing. The only exception I can think of is the ballet challenge. And I guess she took a risk on the kid show challenge too, even though it didn’t pay off.
    But generally, she doesn’t put herself out there enough, especially in the mini-challenges. I know that they aren’t as important as elimination challenges, but they matter because they are still an opportunity to show Ru who you are and what you can do. She really should be less self-conscious and relax.

    I’m glad that Jade went home because she’s beautiful but lame. But I was also very pleasantly surprised by how good her lipsync was. Coco is an excellent lipsyncer and given her age, I think she just had a much better connection to it, so I didn’t expect Jade to actually stay, but it was far from the blowout that I expected.

  9. 9
    badgerfreak
    Posted March 11, 2013 at 6:48 am

    I would agree with Vallegirl that Rotox brings out the worst in each other. They are much better peopl when not paired off together. Or at least Detox is.

    Coco needs to go. As much as Jade had been coasting, I was honestly a little surprised she went home. This was Coco’s second time in the bottom, Jade’s first. And Coco has had some serious attitude issues, that she has been called out for on the runway, a couple of times. Unacceptable behavior. She’s gosta go soon!

    Every week, I love Jinkx more. She’s such a doll. I get the “glamor” that she’s trying to portray. She needs to understand that what Michelle is looking for, is MODERN glamor, not vintage. While I think her vintage glamor is beautiful, it’s not what the judges are asking of her.

  10. 10
    ConfusedinCanada
    Posted March 11, 2013 at 7:54 am

    I have to wonder if Alaska being on this show so soon after Sharon winning was a mistake. It seems that she is comparing herself to Sharon inside her own head. She might have done better on a later show.

    Jade is truly a beautiful queen and I hope she goes far in her career.

    Now I wasn’t a Jinx fan at the beginning but damn I love that girl.

  11. 11
    April
    Posted March 11, 2013 at 11:44 am

    Can’t wait for the new episode! I already saw the first 10 minute preview and Reading is FUNDAMENTAL dahlings!

    This could be Alaska’s challenge to win because she can be pretty funny.

  12. 12
    Sunny
    Posted March 11, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    “Reading is FUNDAMENTAL dahlings!”

    :D Yesssss!

  13. 13
    Sammi
    Posted March 12, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    Omg, Alyssa Edwards and Ivy Winters <3333
    Ivy's smile… I'm gonna die!

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