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Roxxxy tries to make my point but you don’t get to be Coco’s age and still act like she does by listening to reason so she cuts them off by playing the victim. Except Detox really couldn’t give less of a shit about Coco if you paid her so she calls her out for acting like a fool. Then Detox reminds us in interview that Coco’s a baby and a pain in the ass and she’s over it. And she looks really pretty with eyebrows. Consider growing them back.
Elimination day! Alyssa reminds us that the theme is best body PART, not to be confused with best body, and tells us she has to burn the runway since her singing was weak and Coco’s attitude brought her down and she doesn’t want to be in the bottom three.
Alaska asks Detox what she’s featuring and DINGDINGDING we have our first “I’m featuring my whole body” because listening is for suckers. But at least Detox kind of has a good reason for it. Turns out she’s almost made entirely of plastic and silicone.
She had work done on, and I quote: hips, ass, pecs, under-eyes, brow, SIX PACK??!??!, cheeks, lips (NO?!?!), jaw, shoulders and biceps. The only natural part of her is, surprisingly, her nose (Don’t mess with that glorious nose. I love big noses.) her knees and her big toe. Then she shows some charming self-awareness, and outs herself as a Top Chef fan, by saying she’s “walking Tupperware” and “part of the Glad Family of Products.” Alaska jokes that she’s jealous of Detox’s life as plastic and that if she had her way she’d inflate her upper lip into a flotation device.
Things get serious as Jade talks about how difficult her coming out was because no one in her family supported her so she left and was alone and unhappy with herself. Jinkx tries to buck up her friend by saying she didn’t need to waste time trying to impress people who won’t accept her, and Jade agrees, saying she’s proud of where she is now and how she’s learned to accept and love herself. And I have nothing to say but good for you, Jade. Keep moving forward.
Ru’s a sparkling vision in silver sequences and paylets. Judges are, Michelle who, once again, dialed down the tacky gun, this time landing somewhere between Carmela and Janice Soprano, and Santino who hasn’t had anything interesting to say in, oh, three season, and special guest judges Anita and Ruth Pointer, who’s so excited to be there that she just can’t hide it, and Ru’s queen, LaToya Jackson. Ru’s thrilled that it’s her third time as a judge and LaToya confirms that yes, it’s been three times while holding up all five fingers on one hand. Aw, sweetie. Then they plug what I can only assume is her reality show.