Ru recaps that the queens were tasked with recording an inspirational anthem and will wow the judge on the runway “with their favorite body part,” so gentlemen! Start your engines. And may the best WOMAN win!
Coco Montrese (heart? Literally? EW!)
Michelle: She’s got a heart on for you.
Alyssa Edwards (legs)
RuPaul: She’s showing off her Pucci, she’s not ashamed.
Jade Jolie (arms)
RuPaul: Rainbow Brite
Ivy Winters (face)
Ruth Pointer: Just don’t go near a shredder.
Jinkx Monsoon (shoulders? face?)
RuPaul: Waiter? Can you wrap that ass to go?
Roxxxy Andrews (BODY IS NOT A BODY PART)
RuPaul: She’s so shy.
Alaska (right clavicle, heh)
RuPaul: There’s purple ice in Alaska.
vallegirl: Dear Alaska, all chaps are assless. Otherwise they’re pants. Byeee.
Detox (BODY IS STILL NOT A BODY PART, but ass is.)
Whole panel: WHOOHWHOOOOOAOAOOAOA
Santino: Say YES to crack!
We watch the “world premiere” of the video and much like Miss Tyra and “Shake Ya Body,” Ru magically appears through Cybill-vision to sing his part then points us to the queens. Coco, this will come as a shock, is visibly seething while gritting out her lines and Alyssa’s just ignoring it, making up for being tone-deaf by being a ham.
Jade comes off better in the video, mostly because Ivy knows how to modulate her performance so as not to completely overpower Jade, but she and Jinkx are clearly the class of this season’s crop of singers. Roxxxy’s still an asshole, but an amusing one, and neither Detox nor Alaska embarrasses themselves too much. Then they freestyle and Ru shows up for the big hand-holding finish where it’s mostly the Roxxxy, Ivy and Jinkx show on vocals with a special guest appearance by Lucian and Detox’s jaw wiggle. The end.
FEED THE QUEEE-EEENS!
As I mentioned in the minicap, the single is available through iTunes and “a portion” of the proceeds will go to the LAGLC Homeless Youth Services. It’s located in the heart of Hollywood, which is not glamorous at all, and they are a lifeline for these kids who have nothing else, so it’s $.99 well spent.
Time for the critiques. Even though they worked as teams they’ll be judged individually and Coco’s up first. Anita’s all WTF about the top, but Michelle and Ru just want to know what was up with her pissed off, shitty performance. Ru gives her the out of her beef with Alyssa but Coco runs with calling out Detox for being “malicious.” Detox is more of a street fighter, though, so she throws it back saying Coco just got too in her head. Sorry ‘bout it.
You come for the queen you best be prepared.
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