Drag U Recap: Back in the Saddle

Shana says she loves it and Manila thinks it’s fierce but then Shana starts crying because Callie’s beautiful. Ru tells Shana it’s her and asks her if she feels it. Shana offers the feeblest and least convincing “Yeah, I do.” Aw, divorce sucks.

With that out of the way, it’s time for their first “Lady Lesson” with Lady Bunny:

HUZZAH!

This week’s lesson is to help the divorcees get back on the market. And the best way to do that is with old vaudeville jokes about Lady Bunny still missing her ex, but her aim is getting better so Ru can bid adieu with a quick shot across the political bow. Lady Bunny opens her drag handbook to see what they have in store and out of a cascade of rainbows, stars and unicorns pops makeup artist Anton Khatchaturian. Hilary, showing that she may not be the best at picking up cues, says he’s like candy. Something best left for other people to eat?

Although he does look like makeover Julie from last season.

He’s not there to be objectified. He’s there to teach them how to achieve a “smokey eye” because looking like you’re a drunk, goth kid never goes out of style. If you want to do it at home: Step 1, use eye shadow from lid to brow. Step 2: Eye liner on top and bottom of the eye. Step 3: Mascara on upper and lower lashes. Shouldn’t there be a step where you add a darker color so you look like you haven’t slept in three days?

Oh…Hilary.

But no RuPaul show would be complete without sexual innuendo and harassment, so while Hilary fondles Anton’s chest and Faith asks how to avoid getting poked…in the eye, Lady Bunny tells her she’s divorced and should get poked anyway she can. Then Latrice sasses Lady Bunny so Bunny can call her “Latrine” and make a cheap fat joke. With that out of the way it’s one last sexual harassment of Anton then the Lady Lesson is over and it’s time for a word from RuPaul:

None of the above. It’s the name of the evil queen in a WeHo production of Snow White.

Back in the drag lab and Hilary’s still worried about her tits, but Jujubee diagnoses it as a complete lack of confidence and wants her to follow the look to a T including the cleavage-enhancing cape (?), Faith admits that she’s always felt uncomfortable showing herself off, but Manila just wants to get down to logistics and teaches Shana how to walk in a dress with a train.

Shana immediately shows why she needs lessons when she steps on the train after turning like a normal person. Manila takes a moment to show her the proper technique, replete with dramatic hand gestures.

It’s good to be a queen.

Hilary decides to take a moment to have a heart-to-heart with Jujubee about how it broke her down when she went through all that effort to lose the weight and instead of getting noticed she got left behind. She just wants to be fierce and noticed…and she’s having this really sweet conversation while wearing a frilly peach jacket with iridescent pallairds. The jacket does not detract from her point and Jujubee gives her a hug. Juju finishes the segment in interview telling us that Hilary’s finally breaking through.

Only a RuPaul show would feature touching moments in sparkly jackets.

Another new segment this season is “Daytime Drag,” where Ru offers each student two separate looks to choose from to represent their everyday look, because “you’re born naked, and everything else is drag.” Hilary gets to choose from a “sexy” plunging neckline or a “seductive” fitted dress. Faith’s options are a “curvy” form-fitting look or an “alluring” snakeprint “mancatcher.” Okay. And Shana can either be “sultry” in an asymmetrical hemline and…bomber jacket (??!?!) or “sassy” in a strapless navy cocktail dress. With that out of the way Ru shills for a sponsor, then on to dance class.

The twinkle is real.