Drag U Recap: Holding Out for a Shero

Recaps

By vallegirl | Thursday, June 28, 2012 | 1:00 pm | 11 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Drag U, Recaps

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag U… I know something happened last week…oh yeah. Divorcées got made over and then the youngest and thinnest one won! That was really exciting and memorable.

President Ru convenes the staff to discuss this week’s class. They’re real-life heroes in need emergency 911 makeovers and…

WTF, Raja?

Oh, honey. No. Leave the themed costumes to Manila. She’s already halfway to anime as it is. Anyway, President Ru needs three professors to turn the heroes into hotties and sass up their everyday drag. So let’s meet them.

Christine is a sergeant in the Marine Corps who is retiring after serving 20 years. Having spent half her life in combat boots and fatigues, she wants Drag U to unleash her feminine side.

Virginia is a firefighter in training and dresses like a dude. She, too, wants Drag U to bring out her feminine side, but so her daughters can be proud of her. Because saying “My mom’s a firefighter” isn’t enough, I guess.

Bernadette’s a sergeant with the LA County Sheriff’s Department and in a twist, her wife (I’m guessing she’s the pretty blonde in the tiara) used to bring out Bernadette’s feminine side but now that she’s gone Bernadette wants Drag U to help her feel whole again.

With the introductions over, it’s time for the women to meet Ru. HE calls them his “sheroes” and then salutes them…incorrectly.

Palm IN, soldier!

He says that in the line of duty they sacrificed their femininity but Drag U will help them find their inner glamazon via the healing media of greasepaint, wigs and fierce frocks. Winner will receive fabulous prizes including cosmetics, gift certificates and a cash prize of –

Willam not included.

So ladies, if you’re ready…walk this way. No really. Walk this way. And pony it like the rent is due.

Like all the indelicate but biological women who pass through the doors of Drag U, they’re dumbstruck by the Drag Lab. Ru thinks it has more glitter and sparkle than a weekend marathon of Toddlers & Tiaras while Virginia sums it up thusly: “The Drag Lab is girly and pink and sparkly and everything [she isn’t.]”

Since even Barbie couldn’t handle that much girliness, the sheroes will be assisted by their very own drag professors!

Shannel wasn’t even talking.

Ru assigns Christine to Raven who says Christine, who is in uniform, wears “Ugg” boots…as in “ugly.” Never change, Cryptkeeper. Virginia’s working with Shannel who assesses her as “statuesque but very plain.” Humor, thy name is not Shannel. This leaves Raja with teeny, tiny Bernadette. Raja gets horny and says she loves a man in uniform.

Time for orientations. Shannel gets down to business holding up the before picture and wondering “WTF, Virginia?” Virginia turns her head away in either embarrassment or horror.

Shannel kindly avoids asking her if she was ever in prison, instead asking why her shirt’s so damn big. Because she bought it in the men’s department. Shannel wants to know if she ever tries to “feminize” her look and Virginia says she used to until about five years ago…when her daughter was diagnosed with cancer. Virginia gets teary-eyed and admits that at that point, everything went to her daughter. She shows Shannel her tattoo of her daughter’s portrait and tells her she promised the little girl she’d become a firefighter since her daughter wanted to be one. That is so sad.

So it’s time to move on to Raven and Christine. She wants to know what, if any, feminine traits Christine possesses and Christine admits that she’s pretty rough and tough rather than feminine. Oh, and she “swears too fucking much.” Raven wants to know if she acts that way on dates, too, and yeah. The last date she went on she ordered for both of them and, for some reason, didn’t get a second date.

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vallegirl
About

Vallegirl has never actually lived in a valley, has a lot of time on her hands and likes to yell at kids about how things were in her day.  Currently in LA, she's also spent a lot of time in the great states of  New York and Florida so she's not crazy, it's just a cultural thing.

11 Comments

  1. 1
    gun kata
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    Yay! Raja! Love Raja.

    I get the feeling Bernadette hadn’t smiled that much in a while.

    I hadn’t forgotten Shannel called Virginia “plain.” She didn’t look plain by the end of the show. I hope Shannel gave her some makeup tips because I think she can look gorgeous IRL (meaning womanly makeup, not drag queen makeup). She just needs to go to the store, try on a bunch of blouses but hold something up so she can’t see her face… because the eyes are too distracting… and she can find some beautiful clothes that she won’t be too shy to wear to work.

    Christine is adorable. Watch out, there’s a lady Marine on the loose name of town where she lives (that I forgot).

    I just love this show. It has the best cast ever. And LOL Willam modeling the cash.

  2. 2
    BelowSeaLevel BelowSeaLevel
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    Love the show and your recap, vallegirl!

  3. 3
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 6:22 am

    I got so emotional when Bernadette was talking with Ru.

  4. 4
    gun kata
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 7:59 am

    Sheesh, so did I. Especially when he brought her the necklace.

  5. 5
    juddfan
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    Hey Valle!!! Thanks for the cap on this show . . . I truly thought I was the only sucker in the world!!! Raja still looks rough in drag to me. Raven looked over padded, lips and hips! I guess I could see why Bernie won, but in all, they were pretty weak at the lip sync . . . I noticed this season they are matching the dragulator much more closely. I’m doing pretty good at guessing which everyday look the women will pick too. : )

  6. 6
    gun kata
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    Juddfan, good point about matching the dragulator. I think that is exactly what they’re going for… I am not sure why since sometimes things come out nicely anyway. But, maybe that is a drag thing. Haha

  7. 7
    juddfan
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    gun, I feel like maybe people commented on it, so they decided to be more true to it, or maybe they have the wardrobe already, so it’s easier. The dragulator is just plum full of endless drag names tho!

  8. 8
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 6:47 pm

    VGirl, great ‘cap as always! I just love what this show does for women who need a fem-boost. Seeing their families so excited is so wonderful.

    Agree with Juddfan about Raja and Raven. I think they would scare me if they were my mentors.

  9. 9
    Velocity Bird
    Posted July 3, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    I still LURVE Raja, but what’s up with the goofy fascinators? I thought her look was always on point, but now it seems almost as though she’s trying to emulate Sharon Needles. (Hello, Ouiji Hat?)

    That bit with Bernz taking off the Mona necklace…that was really difficult to watch. I’m glad Ru gave it back. It was heartbreaking when she said that Mona helped her pick out her clothes and put on her makeup. She looked FABU at the end, and I hope she keeps that confidence. I really suited her well.

  10. 10
    Zatanna
    Posted July 3, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    I really don’t get what Raven has done to her face. She has Pete Burns lips now, ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

    Raja’s look was ok to me, I think she was trying to get into the whole ‘school teacher’ mode with the book.

  11. 11
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted July 4, 2012 at 9:28 am

    She has Pete Burns lips now,

    I love that this has become a descriptor that everyone I know understands. And yes, she does.

    I liked Raja’s two looks in the actual episode, too. In retrospect, she was always pretty big on hats and fascinators during her season, too. But I can’t co-sign the big “R” on her head in the opening. That’s just weird.

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