Drag U Recap: Knockouts!

Welcome back to another episode of Queen for a Day RuPaul’s Drag U. Do you ever get the feeling that you just read this recap last week? No? Just me? Okay then, let’s do this.

Same as it ever was.

Ru’s convened the professors to let them know that this week’s class are knockouts. They’re all lady boxers who let their femininity get on the ropes. Ru’s gonna need three professors to sass them up, so let’s meet this week’s class.

Cynthia’s ex-boyfriend was an insecure asshole who dumped her “for looking like a boy,” but it was probably because she was taller and stronger than him and it made him question his own manhood so he just demeaned her to get it back. At least that was what I heard.

By the way…this bulletin board has been cracking me up the last couple of weeks:

OH NO…Willam’s missing??!?!

Anyway, Cynthia’s ready for Drag U to get her to step out of the ring and feel like a woman.

Krystle’s mom watched Dynasty while she was pregnant with her. But that’s not why Krystle’s there. She recently moved to LA from Chicago and found out the hard way that plastics really are the future. She feels lost in LA and needs Drag U to kick her style up a notch.

Missy trains seven days a week and at home she and her husband take care of her mother who has cancer. The stress has her depressed and she doesn’t feel like a woman, anymore. She wants Drag U to punch her out of her fashion funk.

On a macro level, this week featured three young, fit and pretty women which made predicting the winner a little more difficult. But after applying the winner’s formula to all three as a group, I knew immediately that Krystle was getting the participant ribbon but it really looked like a toss-up between Missy and Cynthia. I eventually settled on Missy because she had the more sympathetic backstory. And was shorter. Was I right?

We won’t know because here comes Ru in a shiny, tone-on-tone black striped suit that he’s worn at least once before to lecture the women about being down for the count fashion-wise. Stones and glass houses, Ru. He continues that with a drag queen in their corner, they can all learn to be a champ in the ring and a vamp on the runway. But like in life, this is a competition and only one will win and receive the glamorous prizes of greasepaint, a gift card and $3,166.46, so can I get a RU-HA?

RU-HA!

Ru walks them to the Drag Lab and makes a Hunger Gamesjoke I don’t get because I didn’t see the movie or read the books (but I did because I saw Stanley Tucci and sobbed), and Cynthia’s been chosen to be in awe of all the glamour, glitter and color before they get introduced to their professors:

That’s okay, Jujubee. Raven confuses me, too.