Drag U Recap: Knockouts!

I started thinking a couple of episodes ago that the queens are given some kind of loose theme for their daily outfits like “professional realness” or “teacherly” but…what theme could those three have gotten? And has Raven ever seen actual boobs because that amount of painted on cleavage doesn’t go with those tiny breasteses. I’m just saying.

Cynthia’s working with Sideshow Bob Raven who says Cynthia is a “tall…dark…lovely…queen” like she’s reading the eye chart at the DMV. Krystle’s working with Jujubee who in the drag lab says “Wassup” like one of the Budweiser frogs (What is wrong with the queens today?) but sings in interview that Krystle’s “A-DOR-A-BLLLLE.” This means Missy’s working with Chad who brought a riding crop and lets us know one way to keep her student in line is to smack her with the crop. Really, Chad? Why is it always the good ones that go bad instead of setting a positive example for the Ravens bad ones?

There are hugs all around and then it’s Orientation. Raven wants to know, besides her arms, what Cynthia thinks is the sexiest part of her body. Her abs because, duh, she’s ripped. Although she demurs and says it’s a “little six-pack.” Here’s Cynthia’s six-pack:

Here’s mine:

Mmm, Peroni. It’s Italian ’cause I got class, bitches. Raven’s duly impressed and Cynthia tells us, in interview, that if a guy can’t handle how strong she is then she’s not interested but she also tells Raven that her ex used to tell her her chin was too big and that…when he was sweet he was sweet but when he was mean he was evil and she always thought it was her fault. Oh, gurr. Raven tells her that’s why he’s an ex. And expounds that her attitude about other people’s approval is “Fuck other people.” Sometimes Raven is right. Then she shows Cynthia her “after gym” drag:

And I get that it’s not the girliest look, but they were told to wear their “after gym drag” so she’s wearing a track suit. Raven gets how dumb this is so she asks to see Cynthia’s insanely gorgeous naturally curly hair that she says was the bane of her existence because she didn’t know how to fix it. Then Raven inadvertently confirms Cynthia’s hair issues by telling her the way they fix it at Drag U is to put a wig on it.

Jujubee wants to know what Krystle thinks is her sexiest feature and she admits that even though she’s struggled with weight, regardless of where she is, she’s got a nice ass. This makes Jujubee very happy.

Like buttah…

Jujubee asks to see Krystle’s butt and confirms that it is, in fact, a bootay and she is no longer gay just from patting it. Then she turns on Krystle and shows her the “after gym drag” photo: