Drag U Recap: Knockouts!

With the preliminaries done, it’s time for their drag assignments. First up, Cynthia:

She’s laughing while Raven’s all “O.M.G.” Cynthia thinks it’s very Grace Jones and sexy and Ru duhs that it shows off her body. Raven thinks that because they’re the same height she can have it after the show.

Next up, Krystle:

Jujubee tells her she’s sexy and wants to know if it comes in a 12. Raven asks why, isn’t Jujubee a 14? To which Jujubee responds “Go choke on a dick,” in interview while drinking an energy drink through a straw. That’s why I love Jujubee. Krystle loves her look and says that even though she thinks her face is too round normally shethinks she looks beautiful in the photo and Ru tells her that the hairstyle helps balance out her rounder features.

Last up, Missy:

Missy thinks she’s hot but tells Ru she doesn’t even know who that is. Ru makes her admit she sees some of herself in the photo then says the “nude and black storyline” is sexy. Missy agrees but she never wears stuff like that. Ru explains the nude brings out the warmth in her skin tone and “Halleloo’s” Missy’s contention that it’s totally different than who she is. Why you got to hurt me, Ru?

Lady Lesson! And the boxers get to learn some sexy moves. Meanwhile, Bunny’s dressed like a cartoon. Literally:

I kind of like the print.

This week they’re taking a break from the endless stream of unemployed fetish models and porn actors and brought in fitness expert Mario Mosley.

Is that what a natural eyebrow looks like?

He starts them off with a shoulder roll, which is just a set up for Bunny to act frisky, then it’s on to Tip 1: How to stand. Now, we all learned this at around eight months, but these three look like they’re standing in front of a speed bag. He tells them to throw their shoulders down and back because when your boobs enter the room first, no one cares what you’re wearing.

Tip 2: How to sit like a diva. Again, something most of us figured this out when we were wee babies but continuing the Rockytheme, they all sit like they’re waiting for Mickey to cut their eye. He shows them a stretching exercise then instructs them on sitting like they’re the Rockford Peaches getting an etiquette lesson. But don’t cross your legs at the knees because that might cause varicose veins.

Ooh, good to know.

Tip 3: How to make an entrance. He’s still teaching them basic stretching so Bunny and Jujubee engage in some poorly scripted patter before Mario shows them how to walk and it’s all about the swish. Shoulder shoulder, hip hip. Luckily, we don’t see the women practice because my guess is it was painful. One last sexual harassment and Bunny’s off with Mario while Jujubee says her goodbye.

SLUUUT!