Hello, again, and welcome back to Drag U. Since the queens had to make over boxers last week it only seems fitting that this week they’re making over big girls. As always, Ru needs three queens to help in the transformation but can we first talk about Chad’s wig:
That’s a lot of work for a style that was barely seen. That’s why Chad is PRO-FES-SION-AL! But Chad’s also not on this episode, so let’s get back to business. Ru needs the professors to show the women how to super size their fabulosity, over a shot of Delta taking it all very seriously (heh), and sass up their everyday drag. So let’s see who they are.
Amber used to be bubbly but then she gained weight she’s become a hermit and wants Drag U to help her get her confidence and sparkle back.
Mary’s gained 50 pounds in the last year and is upset that she may never be the old her again. She wants Drag U to help her accept the new her.
Sinead’s a “nanny” who spends her days covered in baby food and vomit (nanny, hooker…sometimes they blend) and her nights alone because she’s insecure about her weight and wants Drag U to help her “embrace her curves” and become the sexy new her.
Now, using my highly scientific formula since no one stood out as the obvious choice, I decided “thinnest” was always the tiebreaker and chose Sinead as the winner since she’s smaller than several women who’ve been on the non “big girl” episodes. But nice “PTOWN” sweatshirt.
Ru comes in, still wearing that tone-on-tone, shiny, striped suit and the women are all a little giddy. He makes a bunch of weight puns about going on a strict diet of fierceness, glam realness and working out…on the runway. Heeeey! But as in life, someone always wins for completely arbitrary reasons and still gets a prize package of stage makeup, gift card, and a cash prize of $3,166.97 so if you’re willing to do whatever it takes to be the baddest bitch in school walk this way!
Over in the Drag Lab after Ru compares it to Big Ang (What did the Drag Lab do to Ru?) and Sinead coos over it, talking about the wonderful girlie things and it’s time to meet the professors.
Nice guns, Pandy.
I mentioned it in the minicap, but it kind of bears repeating. I get why people love Pandora (I was always a Jujubee/Jessica Wild fan myself) but Santino was not wrong for criticizing her drag looks. This looks slapped together compared to Sharon’s “Satan’s secretary” costume or Raja’s…Rajaness, because being able to confidently swan around while wearing a crochet halter dress, $5 pink garment district earrings and cotton candy wig with knitting needles stuck in it is a gift. Not a marketable one, but a gift all the same.