Bunny’s teleported from her day job as a gogo dancer on Laugh Inand is “touching up” her lipstick because she was doing “vocal warm ups with a male staff member.” And the joke wrote itself so I won’t have to. Ru just moves on.
Every party has a pooper that’s why we invited Ru.
This week’s lesson is about getting kissable lips so we’re back to unemployed porn actors posing as “beauty experts.”
Why do I feel like every word should be said with air quotes?
Mary wants plump lips so “Brandon” “Liberati” “Makeup” “Expert” tells her to start with a nude lip liner to accentuate the natural curve then fill in with the liner to act as a primer. Then apply a natural color to the whole lip and finish with a high shimmer gloss in the center of the lips to create the pout.
Amber wants to know how to minimize her fuller lips. “Brandon” “Liberati” “Makeup” “Expert” tells her to apply the lip color inside the natural line, using a darker matte shade, then apply the liner just inside the lip line.
Finally, Sinead wants a vampy, red lip. “Brandon” “Liberati” “Makeup” “Expert” says to choose the shade of red based on eye color. Light brown, hazel or green should choose an orangey shade of red, blue eyes should choose a “Wonder Woman” red (HELPFUL!) and if you have dark brown eyes choose a berry red. Then apply the red lip liner to the whole lip as a primer before applying the color.
And that was the Lady Lesson. Now, a word from President RuPaul:
The more you know.
FILLER! Sinead…next! Mary’s scared so Raja gets sweet with her telling her she’s going to do this then focuses on the cape. She thinks capes are very special and wants to teach Mary how to work it with some flair. And if anyone knows how to work a runway it’s Miss Raja. And it would seem that Amber fibbed a little when she said nothing fit. Turns out she’s just more comfortable in pants and Sharon tells her the only way she’ll win is if she faces her fears. Then Sharon tells Amber to trust her because she’s never wrong.
Mary’s lurching around in a blue and white satin robe and Raja about gets the vapors at how ungainly she is. Meanwhile Sinead…next! Raja’s explaining that when one foot goes forward the opposite shoulder goes back and it’s all so effortless when Raja does it. Mary, not so much.
Maybe if her robe didn’t weigh 300 pounds she could walk better.
Raja interviews how to walk and is sashaying better in her seat than poor Mary does on the floor. This prompts Sharon to sally on over and make the clown joke that got repeated into the ground in all the previews so onto the Everyday Drag makeovers.