Since this is the beginning of the rest of their lives…lives…lives, it’s time to move on to Orientation. The women all run up to their professors and while Shante bear hugs Jujubee, Pandora and Kristy gingerly invade each other’s personal space briefly then break. Weird.
Pandora asks Kristy what she’d do if she was offered a part on Broadway but had to perform naked. The doi-oing on the soundtrack suggests this should be amusing and Kristy just wants to know if she’ll be backlit. Pandora promises it would be better, she’ll get full Oprah lighting and Kristy’s all gung ho. Perfect, time to spring her sleepwear photo. Really? Sleepwear? Even Stacy & Clinton don’t care what you sleep in. And they’re bitches.
As far as pajamas go, it could be worse. It looks clean and it fits and it’s even a dress. AND SHE SLEEPS IN IT. Whatever, Pandora’s tasked with tut-tutting it and says Kristy’s probably single because she doesn’t have prettier pajamas. But she says it with love, which Kristy feels, but not if she keeps wearing horizontal stripes on her nightgowns.
Dr. Juju is asking Shante why she gained weight. It’s not usually that easy to pinpoint but Shante says she was depressed and hasn’t been on a date in 10 years because she’s so insecure that she assumes any guy she’s interested in will only look at her weight. Juju turns into a man right before our eyes and just starts chuckling that no man is “just” looking at her weight because her boobs are huge. That laugh leads into Shante’s sleepwear.
You just know that photo was taken at Comic-Con, right? Shante rightly points out that its sleepwear, then duhs to us in interview that Jujubee has her work cut out for her in turning Shante from a nerd into a diva.
Delta not-at-all-leadingly asks Dylan what she’s most ashamed of and Dylan says she really doesn’t like the way she looks, except for maybe her head tattoo of a radioactive symbol. Because she chose that.
That’s okay. Your hair will grow over it soon enough.
She then clarifies that she likes the tattoo because it distracts people from noticing her and Delta interviews that the toughest part will be getting Dylan comfortable in her own body. So Delta springs the sleepwear photo on her and she cringes. That will boost her confidence.
Still, it’s sleepwear. Delta tries to stay on script but Dylan’s really uncomfortable so Delta gets up to hug her. The hug combined with Delta’s 50s housewife get-up must be comforting to Dylan because she looks like the ür-Mother. She sweetly tells Dylan she deserves better but Dylan says she doesn’t know if she agrees because she’s a failure because her mother always told her if she didn’t go to college she’d be a failure and she dropped out.