Drag U Recap: NERDS!

With the preliminaries out of the way, it’s time for their Lady Lesson.  While the women are tastefully dressed in modest LBD’s Bunny swans in like the Wigstock queen she is:

Now performing in the Crystal Lounge…it’s…JOEY HEATHERTON!

This week’s lesson is about accessorizing and helping Bunny out is facial hair fetish model, Ashton Michaels.

Is he locked into that moustache because of the bow tie tattoo?

Jujubee gets all fluttery in interview because Ashton is, and I quote, “…a curvy, curvy moustache ride.” HAHAHA. But he’s actually there with some practical advice on how to accessorize for your body type.

Kristy’s first. She’s high-waisted so he gives her a thin, brightly colored belt and places it right under her bust to draw attention to her bustline then drapes a scarf around her neck to elongate her torso and create a slimmer silhouette. Chyron recommends she carry a shoulder strap purse that hits at the hip. Kristy thinks she can actually use his advice.

Shante has a rectangular body type so Ashton suggests a tonal belt which creates a slimmer waistline. Then he loosely wraps a long, sparkly scarf around her neck to draw attention up to her face. Lady Bunny likes long scarves because they can double as lassos while Chyron tells Shante to carry a shoulder strap purse that hits at the waist, and considering their height difference, that could be the exact same purse Kristy would carry. Ashton asks how she feels about the look and she says it tells men the line forms to the left and they all love sassypants Shante, but she also thinks Ashton’s lesson makes her appreciate the importance of accessorizing.

Dylan’s petite. Chyron recommends she carry a clutch or small shoulder bag so it doesn’t overpower her small frame. Ashton recommends a thin belt at her natural waist for the same reason then suggests a medium weight scarf but there’s no particular reason why, he just shows her different ways to wear it.

He’s fun sized.

One last shill for another sponsor who’s giving the women the looks and accessories and Bunny and Ashton are off so she can sexually harass him.

But now, a word from RuPaul:

I might actually start saying that.

Filler scenes and Pandora’s whisper-lisping to ask how Kristy feels about short skirts. They’re fine as long as she’s not flashing her cooter. Then Pandora offers the sage advice to show your cooter for free publicity but not if it looks like bacon strips.

Shante has a brief, emotional moment because she says Dolores Day doesn’t have the body issues she has because she lost her confidence a long time ago and doesn’t know how to get it back. Jujubee Southern Gran’s that Professor Jujubee’s gonna do it for her, baby, as long as they believe in each other.