Drag U Recap: WILLAM!

Recaps

By vallegirl | Friday, July 13, 2012 | 11:00 am | 12 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Drag U, Recaps

Yadda yadda yadda, more explanations and it’s time to assign their looks. First up, Julie:

Julie likes it and thinks that the look embodies everything she’s trying to regain while Ru tells her that the blonde hair opens up the face and emphasizes her cheekbones. If you say so, Ru.

Next up, Qween (that spelling is killing me.):

Qween thinks Sashay is gorgeous but isn’t sure if she can pull it off since she’s having problems even saying the name and Ru points out how the updo gives her height and lengthens her neck. Ru sees she’s crying, but she’s happy because the photo looks like when she was a beauty queen. She and Ru bond because it looks like when he was a beauty queen, too.

Finally, Tamara:

Ugh, I can’t. She wanted something “divinely feminine” and squeals and whines that it’s not what she expected and she’s shocked. She thinks Denitta is tough and she’s a “sweet princess kitten,” and please make her stop talking. Ru points out that even kittens have claws and she finishes by whining that she doesn’t like it. Life isn’t a Lisa Frank poster, Tamara. Morgan agrees and just says she’s putting her in it.

Time for Lady Bunny and this week’s Lady Lesson:

ACK!

Trust me, I get wanting to temporarily lift or tighten around the eyes or neck but…this seems so Mommie Dearest. Ru and Bunny exchange “facial” jokes and it’s time to meet this week’s porn actor who’s going to lead them through their lesson.

Okay, maybe he really is a “beauty expert.”

Not that that stops Willam from doing this:

Stay classy, sugar. Jeffrey’s there to show them how to use tape and an elastic band to create an “at home face lift.” To lessen the creepy factor Bunny and the queens are reading each other. While Tamara is shown how to tighten up her turkey neck Bunny makes a crack about Willam’s chin so Willam can ask Bunny what the 60s were like and Bunny can make this face:

Dead to Bunny.

Qween wants to lift her cheekbone area and Jeffrey shows a rather Brazil-like technique that will make her a supermodel, so Willam tells Qween to “throw a cell phone.” Wah wah, Naomi. Qween says it feels tight so Bunny can basically call Chad a whore. Then Julie wants an eyelift, but it’s just more taping and pulling. Since Willam doesn’t get any jokes that’s it for the lady lesson.

And now a word, from RuPaul.

Giggle, giggle.

Filler scene. Qween tells Willam she’s worried about looking heavy so Willam busts out the corset then reminds us of her Drag Race highlight by telling us she wears one after eating taquitos. (Blerg) Then Willam effortlessly shills for a sponsor before tying up Qween in the corset.

Morgan continues to try to euphemistically tell Tamara to get out of the Sanrio store and be a grown up while Chad wants to know what’s at the root of Julie’s perfectionism. Julie says she doesn’t want to let anyone down even though she’s understanding that her friends and family are not perfect.

Qween’s having insecurity pangs so Willam’s trying to tough love them out of her, telling her she’s beautiful, she’s going to own it, and tells her to smile and practice saying “I am Sashay ST. JAMES.” Except poor Qween can’t say Sashay and Willam tells her she lisps like a homosexual man. Heh. But Qween eventually gets there.

Still judging you.

Ugh, Tamara. She’s still pitching her fit about how awful Denitta De Ville is because she’s not riding a fucking unicorn and that the state of Arkansas will refuse to let their girls go to California after they see her middle-aged ass dressed up in a black corset (She knows the state has no say in who leaves, right?) and it’s all so obnoxious and not even well acted. Morgan becomes my hero by asking exactly when was she Miss Arkansas. Tamara says “1997″ and Morgan  just says “Exactly.” Exactly, Morgan. Cut off that side ponytail and give her a real reason to be such a pain in the ass.

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vallegirl
About

Vallegirl has never actually lived in a valley, has a lot of time on her hands and likes to yell at kids about how things were in her day.  Currently in LA, she's also spent a lot of time in the great states of  New York and Florida so she's not crazy, it's just a cultural thing.

12 Comments

  1. 1
    Debby
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    LOVED your recap. There was ALMOST enough Willam in it for me.

  2. 2
    Timm
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    Willam for President!!!

  3. 3
    whatwhat
    Posted July 14, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    Julie deserved to win. I was hoping Qween would flaunt it, but she just kinda crumbled at the end there – she looked like she was having fun, but she wasn’t over the top. Bummer, because I was hoping she (or rather WILLAM WILLAM WILLAM) would win. But Julie showed the most dramatic change, especially after her performance in dance class. Tamara was probably one of my least favorite contestants ever because her entire demeanor seemed about as fake as fake gets from the moment she arrived till the moment she left. I don’t know what they were thinking.

  4. 4
    thatdariamom1332
    Posted July 15, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    Am I the only one that saw Julie as Meryl? Lost twins…

    I was really digging Tamara’s look, but her whole, “Nice girls don’t go to California!” thing was WAY over dramatic. And not in a “good for reality tv” way. In an old, outdated, narrow minded kind of way.

    Does anybody know if Willam will be on Drag Race All Stars?

  5. 5
    willam
    Posted July 15, 2012 at 10:49 pm

    i know if Willam will be on All-Stars or not.
    WILLAM

  6. 6
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted July 16, 2012 at 10:21 am

    OMG, WILLAM!

    Sorry, patterned response. I know you’re just teasing us with that little nugget because you won’t RuPologize for spoiling the season but still…OMG, WILLAM!

    @thatdariamom1332 – I thought Julie looked like Meryl, too. Especially in her profile photo. I considered calling her Mamie Gummer but decided not to.

  7. 7
    Chips.N.Whips
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 12:35 am

    Great recap! I too was hoping that Sashay would win but knew she wouldn’t when I saw her fade away. Couldn’t stand Tamara but loved the hell outta DeVille’s look. And she worked it til she opened her stupid mouth.

    Actually liked Morgan again. Was thrilled to see Willam and especially Chad!

  8. 8
    Chips.N.Whips
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 1:05 am

    Oh I forgot the main reason for my first post: WTF is a falculty? You are the first I’ve seen mention it but it drives me crazy. I think I understand the pronunciation issue (like the inability to say Sashay or, in my case, minimum). I hope to see it as a word of the day soon.

    Love you, Ru! And Starbooty too!

  9. 9
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    Ru explained in an interview that the mispronunciation is an homage to his mother.

    And I can say, having a mother with a heavy Slavic accent, I understand. I will still occasionally pronounce every single letter (and then some) in the word “vegetable” and jokingly mispronounce “squirrel” the Natasha way (SQUEE-del) because that’s how my mom said it.

    I don’t normally say those words that way but it’s just so deeply ingrained that you can forget in passing.

  10. 10
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    I love that….I’m the same way with my mom. She’s Nigerian and says “whatever” like “wahrevah”. I say it that way too alot, but usually try not to do it around people who won’t get it, or they look at me strangely.

    And I’m tired of Drag U picking the wrong people. Tamara looked great, but was so annoying and I don’t think she changed at all. I bet she’s gonna go back home and return to wearing turtleneck long johns under her bathing suits.
    And her diatribe about how “they” won’t “let” nice girls go to L.A. anymore after this show was so idiotic, Morgan should have slapped her. Number one, I’m pretty sure nobody in Arkansas remembers or cares who she is. Number two, Arkansas is not heaven…as long as you’re a U.S. Citizen, there’s not really any rules about who can come in or out.

  11. 11
    Raven
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 3:46 am

    I’m not going anywhere, darling!

  12. 12
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 10:21 am

    SQUEEEEE!

    (You’ve beaten me down and brought me around to liking you…you evil bitch!)

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