DTWS All-Stars Recap: Rock ‘n’ Roll Ain’t Here to Stay

By PopePhilly | Thursday, October 18, 2012 | 6:00 am | 23 Comments

Well, Yes. I’ll be back in a minute. I think I need new panties after that. My birthday is exactly one month from the time I’m writing this. If Gilles could just borrow the cake that Kirstie used for her dance, come to my apartment, jump out of the cake, and do that dance, that would be the best birthday ever! Also, Gilles’ facial expressions were the greatest thing I’ve ever seen!

Let’s see if the judges are as excited as I am. Len says that he has no idea about Bollywood dancing, but he knows what he likes and he liked that dance. He does love Gilles’ total commitment. Paula does her best Bruno expression. Then Bruno has another orgasm. Carrie Ann said that Aladdin has nothing on Gilles. Aladdin isn’t really Bollywood-related. No one really said anything about the dance itself. As much as I loved it, I think that Gilles and Peta definitely benefited from the judges’ lack of knowledge of Bollywood.

Scores:
Carrie Ann – 10
Len – 9.5
Paula – 10
Bruno – 10
39.5/40
The first 10s of the season! Gilles says he has the best fans in the world. That’s because you’re hot, Gilles.

I keep forgetting that Melissa is on the show. When she talks about dancing to her husband, her baby daughter just starts blowing raspberries. That’s how I start to feel when Melissa keeps comparing herself to Shawn. Melissa and Tony are dancing the Jitterbug.

That costume is not very flattering on Melissa.

Is anyone else disappointed that they didn’t dance to “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go”? It was cute, but there was something about Melissa’s facial expressions that make me want to just punch her. Yes, I know I said I loved Gilles’ crazy facial expressions, but Bollywood is about being over the top. The Jitterbug isn’t so much.

Paula likes the chemistry between Melissa and Tony. Bruno calls Melissa a swinger. That’s about what I got from Bruno. Also, he really does count every time someone dances. Stop it! Carrie Ann thinks the dance was effortless and she loves Tony’s choreography. Len likes that they made a small mistake “going for it” rather than playing things safe. Then Len calls it a “glitterbug.” He also says, “You made Little Lenny very happy.” I hope he’s not referring to his penis. I’m pretty sure that he’s been sharing whatever it is Paula has been drinking.

Scores:
Carrie Ann – 9
Len – 9
Paula – 9.5
Bruno – 9 and a HALF! (Yay! Bruno is back!)
36.5/40

Shawn and Derek are dancing the Mambo. Wait, why is Shawn going back to her hometown for a gymnastics tour? I thought she was allowed to use everything exceptgymnastics.

Sure, it was good because it was Shawn and Derek. Did anyone expect anything less? I don’t know about you all, but it looked a little robotic to me. Then again, maybe that’s the way the Mambo is supposed to look. Bruno gets his orgasm out of the way first and tells Shawn she was mesmerizing and sexy. Carrie Ann thinks the other contestants should be a little scared. “Little Lenny” has some “good news from Goodman.” He really liked the dance. Paula rubs Bruno’s nipple because that’s how the dance made her feel.

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Comments (23)
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About PopePhilly

Aside from making fun of reality television on a weekly basis, PopePhilly is a legal assistant by day and avid kickball player by night (well, at least on Thursdays). On the nerd front, she is an active member of the forensic speech and debate community. She spends her time judging at tournaments throughout the country and serving on the board of directors for the West Chester University alumni chapter of Pi Kappa Delta (yes, speech nerds get to pretend to be cool by having Greek letters).

23 Comments

1

vallegirl

Posted October 18, 2012 at 8:56 am

I thought Bollywood and contemporary were the toughest assignments because they’re built on technique not specific moves. And it’s technique that ballroom pros aren’t that familiar with, if they’re familiar with it at all.

With all the others, including hip hop and bolero, there’s a social analog to the professional dance so the celebrities can probably learn those dances, albeit never at a professional level because that takes years of training. But Bollywood and contemporary have no social dancing analog. They’re purely professional dances so even the ballroom pros are at a disadvantage because they’re training doesn’t usually encompass Bollywood or classical technique.

Of course I also think the judges scored on a curve to account for this, which I thought made it fair.

And fairest of all was losing Bristol so the rest was just icing, anyway. YAAAAY!

But I’m on record as not “feeling” most of the Latin party dances on DWTS because they’re usually so non-Latin and Derek and Shawn’s mambo was no different. Packed with tricks and difficulty but none of the loose, free-moving hips and shoulders that make that style entertaining. Just listen to some Tito Puente or Perez Prado. It’s raucous and jazzy, not crisp and pristine. Shawn and Derek are such perfectionists that they didn’t have the “sponaneity” that should go with Cuban dances.
2

Kathee Johnston

Posted October 18, 2012 at 9:53 am

Thank you so much for inserting the videos into your comments!!! I beg you to continue this format!!!!!! Funny, insightful, and informative recap as usual!!!!!!!!!
3

Pikey578

Posted October 18, 2012 at 10:59 am

Bye Bristol! I am not sad to see your negative attitude leave the show. Kirstie may not be a great dancer but her attitude is infectious and she seems to really enjoy what she is doing. But, she should also be the next to leave. Great recap!
4

wcsdancer

Posted October 18, 2012 at 11:32 am

I’m so over Emmit this season. Especially compared to Gilles.

I have to disagree a little bit about Kirstie. She actually *is* a decent dancer…compare to Shawn. Of course Shawn is great at performing a choreographed routine, but she has no musicality. She dances on top of the music. Kirstie, on the other hand, is less skilled at perfecting the choreo, but she actually dances *in* the music. She really feels it. I enjoy that about her.

Most of my knowledge of contemporary comes from SYTYCD, and I thought Val and Kelly did a respectable job (even though Kelly is not my favorite). Kelly is not a trained dancer, but she did a pretty good job with her lines, pointed feet, and finishing her moves.

So glad Bristol is gone. She so obviously didn’t want to be there, I don’t know why she agreed to. Oh wait – MOAR MEDIA ATTENTION! Since, ya know, they won’t leave her alone. *eyeroll*

I want Gilles to win. He should have in his season.
5

Faye

Posted October 18, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Can we just skip the rest of the season and just watch the finale rematch with Gilles and Shawn? They were good in their original season but they have better partners and more relaxed rules and it’s letting them really shine.

I don’t get the Sabrina love. She’s a good dancer but like Melissa amoung a group of people who can all dance, she is quite forgettable. If she wins this season I will make someone smaller and weaker than me each a roach
6

PopePhilly

Posted October 18, 2012 at 2:11 pm

@vallegirl: I see where you’re coming from. However, I still think that some of the dancers benefited from the judges not being familiar with the dances. Yes, Gilles dance was cool (and I’m rooting for him to win the whole thing), but Len even flat out said he didn’t know anything about Bollywood – he simply liked the dance. I guess it’s probably better to say there were pros and cons to each side of it. However, I think we can all join hands across America and sing because Bristol is gone!

@Kathee: No need to beg! The videos actually make my job a lot easier. 1.) I don’t have to pause every few minutes to get a screen grab (which is hard during the dances anyway) and 2.) I don’t have to try to describe the dances.

@Pikey: As much as I don’t want to admit it, you’re right about Kirstie leaving. She’s got an awesome spirit and always seems to try hard, but she’s just not as good as the others. I’m sure some of that has to do with 1.) She’s significantly older than the remaining couples by at least 18 years (Emmitt being closest in age at 43) and 2.) I’m not calling her fat (I’ve ALWAYS had to struggle with my weight, so I’ll never judge someone else for theirs), but she’s definitely not in the same shame that Shawn or Kelly or Apolo is in.

@wcsdancer: After reading your comment, I went back and watched Kirstie’s and Shawn’s dances and I think you’re right. Shawn seems to do this in a very technical way – this is her job, she gets it done. It’s impressive, but it doesn’t make you smile the same way that Kirstie just having fun will.

@Faye: I won’t be too surprised if Sabrina wins the whole thing. It would be the ultimate comeback story. As long as Gilles makes it to the finals, I’m happy.
7

Faye

Posted October 18, 2012 at 2:27 pm

@PopePhilly: For me what Sabrina lacks is that one defining moment/dance that gets someone to the finals regardless if they do crappy the rest of the season or not. Shawn has had 2 moments (quickstep, mambo) and Gilles has his Bollywood number. In Kelly Osbourne season it was her first dance (Waltz), Helio had the quickstep, etc. Every season someone has that one defining moment and all Sabrina has is she was kicked off early 10,000 seasons ago. She’s a good dancer but lacks that certain “ummmph” that makes her stand out to me. It’s what I called the Britney v. Christina argument. Christina has the talent but Britney has IT and IT goes a lot further than talent. I mean it’s the American way. Ask all of Beyonce’s back-up singers
8

CoolKymom

Posted October 18, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Fab recap!!!

So glad to see Bristol gone. Enjoyed Paula as a judge. Felt uncomfortable with Val and Kelly dancing in their underwear. But have to admit that my heart did a little flip when he sprinted up the stairs still holding her in his arms. I think those two are are feeling more than a dancing connection.
9

CoolKymom

Posted October 18, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Also for some reason karina irritates the heck out of me. I wonder how apollo feels about having her as a partner. I can’t remember…who was his partner his original season????
10

wcsdancer

Posted October 18, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Apolo had Julianne Hough his first time. I happen to like Karina, though.

One thing I do like about Shawn is that she doesn’t emulate Derek’s over-the-top facial expressions. She just performs with a big smile on her face.

I’d rather they stick to ballroom dances.
11

chaosbutterfly

Posted October 18, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I want to roll Gilles in chocolate and crushed peanuts and then lick everything off.
Lord, that man is hot. They need to make clones of his fine self.

And if Val and Kelly aren’t doing the horizontal mambo, I’ll eat my hat.
The way she talks about him is not how people talk about their dance partners.

And Melissa needs to sit all the way down with her creepy Shawn obsession. I was so irritated when she said that she wanted the judges to tell her that she was a different person from Shawn. Bitch, they know you’re a different person. You’re the one who keeps on comparing yourself to Shawn.
She and Tony get on my last nerve.

Shawn looks like Chuck E Cheese.
12

chooch850

Posted October 19, 2012 at 1:27 am

Karina….. she was so focused on impressing Paula and Carrie Ann because Hip-Hop is their “thing”, she forgot about Apolo. She admitted in an interview after the show, that she fell because she “threw in” an unrehearsed karate kick, that Apolo didn’t even know about, and that’s when she fell down. She was just trying to show off and it blew up in her face. THAT’s why she was crying!

I can’t believe you guys were bothered by Kelly and Val in their underwear… come on! What a bunch of prudes. Edyta wore less than that every single week. Give me a break….
13

PopePhilly

Posted October 19, 2012 at 6:33 am

@Faye: I like the Brittany vs. Christina analogy. I’m going to start using that. I never really thought of this show that way before, but there definitely is something to the “it factor.”

@Coolkymom: The underwear didn’t bother me – Shawn’s costume was just as revealing if not moreso. I was uncomfortable about the way they were acting toward each other when they were NOT dancing.

@chaosbutterfly: The image of Gilles in chocolate is going to get me through this very long day. Thank you for that. As for the Melissa/Shawn thing, I wonder if they’re friends and jokingly call each other out and trashtalk and we only saw Melissa’s side of it. I’m really hoping she’s just not that creepy.

@chooch: Argh! Well, at least Karina’s showboating didn’t get Apolo kicked off. I’m kind of indifferent on that pair, but I wouldn’t want to see him kicked out because of something stupid she did. Also, like I said before, the underwear didn’t bother me. I was uncomfortable watching Val and Kelly dry hump all night – on and off the dance floor.

Also, in sad news, Anna is getting divorced.
http://www.bittenandbound.com/2012/10/18/dwts-pros-seek-divorce-anna-t-and-jonathan-roberts/
14

SaraKate

Posted October 19, 2012 at 8:16 am

EXACTLY PopePhilly! It’s not that they were wearing underwear, it’s their behavior in it. Gross.
15

Pat Ledoux

Posted October 19, 2012 at 9:11 am

“You made little Lenny very hapy”, I hope he wasn’t talking about his penis….bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa too funny PP!!! (Though I had the same thought when he said it!)

Let’s just call Gilles the winner and be done, I so adore that fine piece of man!
16

PopePhilly

Posted October 19, 2012 at 9:28 am

@SaraKate: Pron doesn’t bother me either. Porn showing up in places where it shouldn’t (like a ballroom competition) bothers me.

@Pat: Let’s all decided that “Little Lenny” is a euphemism for “penis.” We’ll make it a thing. I agree with declaring Gilles the winner. However, the show should finish its run with just him dancing for several hours each week. Even better, let’s just let him be shirtless or in a suit (he’s incredibly sexy in both) for the entire episode. Ratings would skyrocket!
17

Pat Ledoux

Posted October 19, 2012 at 11:44 am

@PopePhilly I so agree, I thought Gilles got robbed last time, he can really dance and MAN he is sexy sexy sexy!!! I say let him just wear a thong though, why bother with anything else? I’d say naked, but that won’t happen unless he shows up at my house (one can dream).

@chaosbutterfly, I’ll be glad to help you roll Gilles in that chocolate and such!
18

chaosbutterfly

Posted October 19, 2012 at 12:57 pm

That’s sad, but not surprising about Anna’s divorce.
They were just on an episode of HGTV’s Design Star All Stars, getting their condo decorated, and they seemed pretty disconnected.
More like familiar roommates than married people.

@Pat Ledoux, I appreciate the offer, but this is a one-woman job soo….yeah…gonna have to decline.
You’re welcome to watch though.
No touching.
19

PopePhilly

Posted October 19, 2012 at 1:08 pm

@Pat: We should change up the clothing (or lack thereof) each week to keep it interesting.

@chaosbutterfly: I would also like to be a ticket to watch the Gilles rolling event!
20

kron

Posted October 19, 2012 at 2:46 pm

omg, first thing I thought when I saw Sabrina: Why is she dressed up like the Cookie Monster?
I was really hoping Kirstie would win when I started watching this season, but I just don’t think she has the technical skill compared to everyone else unfortunately.
My prediction is that it’s going to be between Shawn and Gilles again, but this time Gilles better win!!!!!! I love watching him dance and he seems so invested in every dance. Did you know he played a dance teacher in a recent episode of Royal Pains?
Apolo is also really starting to grow on me. He really does seem to get sexier every week.
21

SororSalsa

Posted October 19, 2012 at 9:21 pm

vallegirl….you are SO right. But I think that’s because ballroom “Latin” is a totally different animal from the salsa & mambo that’s traditionally danced. It’s based more on patterns than mambo, cha cha cha, son, etc. I taught ballroom before I started dancing salsa, and it was a relief not to have to be so stiff and not move my hips and shoulder, when the music made that natural. Also, what they were doing is closer to LA-style salsa, where a lot of tricks and lifts are common. New York style salsa is footwork heavy and you don’t see lifts and tricks very often.

The cha cha that Cheryl and her friends was a bit closer to the cha cha that I’m used to…still a pattern, but perhaps because they were dancing to “Oye Como Va”, it was a bit more traditional and less ballroom-y.
22

cattyfan

Posted October 19, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Didn’t see Kelly and Val as looking any different from what we see every season on SYTYCD. Except Kelly sells the emotion better because she’s an actress. And the outfits weren’t all that revealing, either.
23

Kylie

Posted October 23, 2012 at 7:07 pm

As a dancer without a ballroom background, I hated the Bollywood, Contemporary and Hip Hop dances, especially the Hip Hop. I don’t know who Karina got to help choreograph, but it was badddddddd 90s pop that nobody does or likes anymore.
While the Bollywood and Contemporary were good tries, I noticed they were both songs that So You Think You Can Dance have used, and both of those dances were incredibly iconic for that show. I know that Jai Ho is pretty popular for that genre of music, but….

Above all, I’m THRILLED Bristol finally went home. Her face and voice needed to go bye bye.

DTWS All-Stars Recap: Rock ‘n’ Roll Ain’t Here to Stay

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