DWTS All-Stars Recap: New and (Sort Of) Improved

Recaps

By PopePhilly | Wednesday, October 10, 2012 | 10:49 pm | 12 Comments
Posted in: Dancing w/ The Stars, Recaps

Well, it’s time to listen to Bristol wine. She brought the drama this week by fighting with Mark. She doesn’t flat out just tell Mark what’s wrong right away. She acts like the little twat waffle that she is and is all passive aggressive. Bristol finally tells Mark that she feels like he doesn’t want to work with her. Mark calmly explains that he has always stuck up for and always stood by her side. For some reason, Bristol feels like Mark wants to go home. Maybe it’s because you’re being a huge Seaward and playing the victim. I wouldn’t want to be around you either, bitch! The fight ends with Bristol walking out on Mark.

(Un)fortunately, Bristol is back to dance. She and Mark will be recreating the paso doble Joanna Krupa and Derek performed in season 9. 

Joanna & Derek (Season 9)

Bristol & Mark

I really question Bristol’s part in the creative direction of this dance. The chess board idea with the white queen and the black king dancing is awesome! I love it. I’m pretty sure that the girl who spent all last week talking all about being a redneck is not a huge fan of chess. The dance itself wasn’t bad. Bristol and Mark obviously made up and continued to rehearse. 

Len explains that, back when he was dancing, he would have a fight with his partner before the paso doble because it got him in the right mood. He thinks it’s easily her best dance. Bruno calls Bristol an ice queen with a killer streak. A killer streak of what? It’s obviously not talent. Carrie Ann thinks that people automatically put Bristol in the bottom of the pack, but she’s proving herself to be a worth competitor. Carrie Ann, you may want to think before you speak. The only person that Bristol has managed to score higher than was Pamela Anderson. Your scores have put her at the bottom of the pack each week!

Scores:
Carrie Ann – 7.5
Len – 7.5
Bruno – 7 and a HALF! (Yay! My Bruno is back!)
22/30
Hey, Carrie Ann, who is it putting them at the bottom of the pack?

After that moment of suck, let’s finish the night out with a good dance. Derek and Shawn are recreating the quickstep that Hélio and Julianne Hough performed in season 5. Shawn wants to bring in trampolines to really push the boundaries. They decide to just go all out a break the rules no matter what the judges think. Derek just wants it to be entertaining.

Hélio & Julianne (Season 5)

Shawn & Derek 

It’s pretty obvious which of those was the better performance. Hélio’s was a better quickstep, but Shawn and Derek had a better overall performance. I really have nothing there I can make fun of. It was awesome, entertaining, and well done. I honestly enjoyed it – no snark! I’m just going to say it – Shawn and Derek most likely just secured their spot in the finals with that dance.

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PopePhilly

Aside from making fun of reality television on a weekly basis, PopePhilly is a legal assistant by day and avid kickball player by night (well, at least on Thursdays). On the nerd front, she is an active member of the forensic speech and debate community. She spends her time judging at tournaments throughout the country and serving on the board of directors for the West Chester University alumni chapter of Pi Kappa Delta (yes, speech nerds get to pretend to be cool by having Greek letters).

12 Comments

  1. 1
    jarthon jarthon
    Posted October 11, 2012 at 5:09 am

    First off, THANK YOU for letting me relive Joanna and Derek’s paso. Still one of my favorites from any season. How Bristol keeps making it week after week shocks me. Like how much more weight do the votes have over the judges? Just blergh. And how does ABC think that we put Sabrina on the show and here it is week 3 and we’ve already abandoned her? More just blergh. At least we get to see new dance styles next week so everyone will be out of their comfort zones.

  2. 2
    Lizbot
    Posted October 11, 2012 at 5:25 am

    I predict that Bristol Palin will make it to the top 4 at the very least. The Tea Party is highly invested in pissing off “liberals” (their words, not mine), and the more people are outraged about it, the more they will vote. Not that I’m suggesting that you stop complaining — I’m not watching the show, but I’m loving the snark in this recap!

    As for the fight with Mark — just another reason why the Palins are one of the most annoying families in America (like mother like daughter). Can anyone really blame Mark for possibly not wanting to be saddled with one of the worst dancers of an all-star season while two of his most talented partners are paired up with his competitors?

  3. 3
    considerthis
    Posted October 11, 2012 at 7:49 am

    Curious as to why ABC would even invite Bristol back. I know I know I know there is no such thing as bad publicity and yes everybody can’t stop talking about it (including myself).

    BUT

    While indeed everybody is talking about it – it is erroding the credibilty of the show that it is supposed to be promoting. Every week she stays “better” “dancers” are forced to leave thus making it a populatilty contest and not a show about dancing. Maybe ABC should rename it from Dancing with the Stars to Voting for the Stars??

    On top of it all Bristol has the personality of a wet loaf of bread and her incesssant whining and lack of enthusiam for anything only further frustrates non-tea party voters as this show is meant to entertain of which she (Bristol) does the opposite. If ABC’s is betting on the fact that noo Tea Partiers will “rise up” to oust her that has yet to happen – all that has happened is annoyance and frustration on behalf of your average fan. I guess this is how ABC says thanks for tuning in…

  4. 4
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted October 11, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    @jarthon: They seem to do that every now and then. The only other season I followed closely was season 13. I remember there was a week that the bottom two were J.R. Martinez and (I think) Chaz Bono. The elimination was BEYOND obvious at that point. I think the producers like to keep us on our toes. They always make sure to mention that the “bottom two” don’t necessarily have the lowest combined scores. The person going home does, but the person staying could have a very high combined score. It’s just to create drama.

    @Lizbot: I like to think that I’m complaining for your entertainment – not to just be a little bitch and get attention by playing the victim. The funny thing is, Mark never once made it seem like he felt “stuck” with Bristol. From what I’ve seen on the show, they seem like they get along great and are pretty good friends. I wouldn’t be surprised if Bristol was just trying to get attention, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if the producers set that up to create drama. I always have to remind myself that, first and foremost, this is a show.

    @considerthis: As much as Bristol sucks, she does bring in a big audience and is considered “controversial.” Granted, it’s just pissing off more and more people. However, one thing I will say in Bristol’s defense (sort of), she is the kind of contestant that this show should be about. I would rather see someone without a dance background come in and actually learn something. I always go back to season 13 (again, it’s the only season I really followed closely up until now) and remember both J.R. Martinez and (please don’t judge) Rob Kardashian coming in with little to know experience and both turning out to be pretty good by the end. Although I don’t want to see Bristol (I just can’t with this one anymore!), I do like the type of contestant that she is.

  5. 5
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted October 11, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    *Little to no experience…not little to know. It bothers me to no end when I find typos AFTER something is published.

  6. 6
    ChaCha
    Posted October 11, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    I wonder how much money the RNC is paying teabaggers to vote for Bristol. There’s no way that galumphy girl deserves to last longer than the much better dancers.

  7. 7
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted October 11, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    I think it’s HILARIOUS that Mark BallsNass got Bristol as a partner. They are both bitches. Now, that we’ve got that established, during the bitch-fight, Bristol did say to Mark that he never showed up for rehearsal one day (the reason for her hissy fit), and he didn’t deny it.

  8. 8
    Lizbot
    Posted October 11, 2012 at 8:21 pm

    Oh PopePhilly, please don’t get me wrong — your recaps are the only thing I enjoy about this show! Please keep keep it coming! You have every right to be outraged at Bristol’s continuance in the competition, and you’re very funny while you do it! I was just bitching and moaning about it in my own little way. Looking forward to reading more next week.

  9. 9
    chooch850 chooch850
    Posted October 11, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    Here is an article that says the Tea Party has “cracked” ABC’s call-in code and they can now vote for Bristol to infinity and they will, no matter what and they have groups that don’t even watch the show who are doing just that.

    http://jezebel.com/5691445/how-palin-conservatives-are-cheating-the-dwts-voting-system?skyline=true&s=i

    The voting process needs to change.

  10. 10
    chooch850 chooch850
    Posted October 11, 2012 at 8:26 pm

    Oh, I’m sorry…… I LOVED you recap!

  11. 11
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    @ChaCha: Like I said, this is the REAL “vast right wing conspiracy.” Hillary needs to be all over this! :)

    @Enrique’s Mole: Good point! I forgot about that. However, I wouldn’t be all that amazed if Bristol was blowing that out of proportion. I’m willing to bet that Mark called her because he couldn’t make it for some reason. She just seems like the type of person who would hold a grudge for something like that.

    @Lizbot: I know what you meant. :) I was just trying to joke about the difference between a recapper’s complaining (which, in my COMPLETELY unbiased opinion, is always funny and entertaining) while Bristol just wines.

    @Chooch: I read that article too! They really do need to figure out a different way to set up voting. Now, not to defend that practice, other contestants’ fan bases could do the same thing. We could all make up fake email addresses to vote. That doesn’t make it right by any means. I’m just saying. I hope that made sense. It’s late and I’m a little drunk. Hahaha.

  12. 12
    Lizbot
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 4:14 am

    @PopePHilly: Phew! I thought you knew, but I just wanted to make sure.

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