Hello, Gasmii! Welcome to the all star season of “Dancing with the
D List Stars.” We’ve got former champions and former contestants that weren’t really doing anything else fan favorites back for another shot at the mirror ball trophy! Also, Tom Bergeron has an Emmy now!
Don’t worry if you forget. They’ll be sure to remind you at least 1,000 times more.
There is the usual long intro. I love that Hélio Castroneves is introduced only as “season 5 winner!” That’s so sad. Oh, and Bristol Palin is a “reality TV star” now. I guess that sounds better than “daughter of a giant attention whore who didn’t have anything else going for her.” I wonder how some of the other former contestants feel about not being chosen over Bristol. Somewhere, Kate Gosselin is pissed.
Don’t make me cut a bitch.
First up, is Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson. They’ll be dancing the cha-cha. Joey interviews that he wants to beat Apolo Ono because that’s the only person who beat him in season 4. It does seem to be a cute little rivalry. Kym interviews that she and Joey brought the fun to season 4 and they want to recapture that. We get some more filler with the two rehearsing and then we go right into the dance.
It was definitely fun. It seemed pretty well done also. Granted, a member of *Nsync would of course be a good dancer. That is pretty much the reason that Joey is famous. Let’s go to the judges! Len explains that the judges are going to be a bit tougher this year because all of these contestants have been through this before. The judges now have the option to give half-points to the contestants. How exciting.
Len tells Joey that he loves watching him dance, but his posture was a bit off and his footwork needed more focus. Bruno said…something. Most of the time, I have no idea what Bruno is saying. He just constantly sounds like he’s having an orgasm. Basically, he agrees with Len. Last, we get Carrie Ann’s opinion. She just said Joey was a showman and started off things well. There is really nothing in there that would explain any type of score whether it be high or low.
Carrie Ann – 6.5
Len – 7
Bruno – 7
When did Carrie Ann become the bitch? Usually Len gives the low scores! Maybe she’s just pissed that she’s single now.
Next up is Shawn Johnson and Derek Hough dancing the foxtrot. Shawn shows up for rehearsal and thinks that Mark isn’t going to be happy because she has a new partner.
That’s because you left him with Bristol fucking Palin!
Shawn interviews that she was sad to put an end to her gymnastics career. However, this is her chance to compete again. Shawn, sweetie, “Dancing with the Stars” and the Olympics aren’t anywhere close to the same thing.