DWTS MEGAcap: 2 Couples Enter; 1 Couple Leaves

This recap isn’t The Avengers but check it out anyway.

Get ready for a week of tense rehearsals, not-so-tense performances, and a DOUBLE ELIMINATION. They’re really ratcheting up the drama! RATINGS!

Starting tonight I’ll be taking over both episodes each week as we’ve lost CannedGinger! Boo! Everyone wish her well. And starting with this recap I’ll be doing “MEGAcaps” with Monday’s full episode and a much abbreviated minicap of the results episode. Hopefully I won’t go insane.

I love that the episode starts off with Tom Bergeron saying that Urkel was “put in the vault.” That’s the first time I’ve ever felt anything besides annoyance/indifference towards him. 

Donald & Peta. Coming off a high from last week (or maybe it was the crack), Donald’s ready to take on this week’s challenges. So, to be the best, he studies the best (MY BOFY), Derek. Trying to become a stereotype, Donald says ”They feet was amazing.”  They serve up a tense Tango:

“One, two, three, HUH!“

His frame’s solid, and his steps are in time. And he is sharp. But I don’t think he ever fully straightened either leg once, so it looked like he was crouching his way through the dance.

• Len: 1st round knockout! He set the bar high. 9
• Bruno: After some usual blathering nonsense (involving almost calling a marriage counselor), he says he thought it was a great way to start the night.  9
• Kerry Ann: Such focus. Great shapes and vocabulary. But bring more subtle drama (to which Bruno and Len vehemently disagree).  9

Derek & Maria: After getting a perfect 30 last week, Derek and Maria have a tense rehearsal (it’s also curse-word-laden for Derek). Talking about trying to get the best out of her he says “Sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most.” And I’ve got the welts to prove it. They dance a very romantic, emotionally resonant Viennese Waltz.

“Yum. You smell like taco.”

I didn’t pay attention because it was so lovely. Which makes me worry he’s cheating on me.

• Bruno: Heavenly fluidity. Seamless transitions. Total emotional involvement.   10
• Kerry Ann: It was beautiful. Something magical is happening between them, which makes it special.  10
• Len: The other’s opinions are all well and good, but Len wanted more dancing. (Bruno and Kerry Ann vehemently argue that). Len was disappointed.  8

Melissa & Maks: OH BOY. Things are more than tense in rehearsal. Maks angrily curses more times than I can count. He complains that she can’t even get three simple moves so they can move on.  He follows this all up by saying, “You’re making me look like a villain. You’re making me look like a terrorist.” The jokes write themselves. They fumble through a cougarlicious Foxtrot.

“Get me away from that”

She stumbles through the steps in the beginning but she gets better as it goes on. And most of the time her free hand looks like some scary Dark Crystal bird-creature. Otherwise she’s confident and relaxed.

• Kerry Ann: “Your shoulders were down.” “This was your best dance. ” Except for all those missed steps at the beginning that I have to mark you down for.  8
• Len: This was potentially her best dance. Except for one or two incidents.  8
• Bruno: First some cougar comment (Which scares me, b/c great minds think alike. And so do Bruno’s and mine) She’s starting to finish her lines. Great presentation.  8

Kathrine and Mark. They’re stressed and tense too. Do you see a theme? They do a lovely, flowy, flawless Viennese Waltz.

“Think of candy and puppies and babies.”

• Len: This had lots of content. Terrific.   9
• Bruno: Technique is superb.  9
• Kerry Ann: Mesmerized by your lines. Be careful you don’t lose your footing. (And now it’s Len and Bruno’s time to argue with her.  8

It feels like the producers told the judges to fight over each couple during each judges session. Let’s see what happens next.