Roshon & Chelsie: Just barely survived elimination twice. There’s a whole lot of Disney Goofin’ ‘Round in rehearsal, much to Chelsie’s chagrin. So they bring in Roshon’s grandmas?!!? Why not. “Grandmas, this Foxtrot is for you!” – Roshon, on his last week on DWTS (we can only hope)
I’ve never been a big Forest Gump fan.
“Sorry this sucks!”
Can’t he do just one dance that explores a different aspect of humanity besides cheesy, Randy Newman-soaked saccharine?
- Bruno: The sweetest of sweet. No jerkiness. Great holds. Great lines. Joy! 10
- Kerry Ann: You made us proud! So proud! 10
- Len: Two dancing munchkins. “Good job, Dog!” 9
This is the first time tonight they didn’t fight. Did Roshon’s contract require that he make it through to the end of the season?
William Levy: I think I heard him say something about not liking the Foxtrot or ballroom dance in general because of all the rules. But all I could hear was this:
Their Foxtrot is pretty smooth and he seems to have found his frame, and keeps on his steps.
“Pretty cool, no?”
- Kerry Ann: Super hot sexy Pink Panther. Brought the dance to life. 10
- Len: Care in technique. Flair in movement. He liked it. 10
- Bruno: You heart breaker! I hate you! (He loved it) 10
Manage à Donald: The trio talk about how crazy their 3-person Jive is. In rehearsal, Donald looks like he’s having a seizure. In performance, at least he keeps up with the pros.
- Len: Fun, fun, fun! 9
- Bruno: It’s hard to stay in sync in a three way, but you did it! Kept up with these two firecrackers. 9
- Kerry Ann: Didn’t miss a step! Kept up the whole way! 10
The ballroom is pissed that they didn’t get triple tens.
My Dreams Come True: What could be better than Maria and Derek? Maria, Derek, and the guy from the troupe I’ve been calling SEXY VANILLA ICE!!! He has a name. It is Henry. And he is FAAAAABulous (despite the acne). Obviously, first up is an ab contest.
Henry wins. Barely. (sorry it’s blurry)
I don’t quite understand why (trying to make the most flamboyant dance of the night?) but they do a Bollywood inspired Samba!!!
“Who’s hand is that?” “That’s not my hand”
It’s quick and fun, but there’s not much Samba. It’s a little too quick for Maria to keep up with the boys, so it’s a little messy. Also, it’s a disturbingly gay (and that’s a pretty rare assessment coming from me).
- Bruno: Creatively incredible. Timing was off. 9
- Kerry Ann: What a great number. The boys were perfectly in sync. But Maria not so much. “It was a feast for my Asian senses.” I’m offended. 9
- Len: “If I was judging a Bollywood number it was a 10.” But he’s here to judge a Samba. 7
Damn, Glen! 7! It wasn’t as bad as Melissa stumbling across the floor like Laura Ingals running through the plains after breaking an ankle!
MVM: Maks and Melissa chose Maks’ brother Val. Melissa says it’s because they don’t want to rely on votes alone. After a clip of both Val and Maks ganging up on Melissa in rehearsals, she says there’s nothing hotter than dancing with both Chmerkovskiy brothers. I wonder if they timed their shaving so they would have the same amount of stubble?
It’s grabass time!
Melissa’s a little wooden at times but mostly keeps up with the bros. Chmerkovskiy. Meh.
- Kerry Ann: Maks and Val sandwich!!! And Melissa was a delicious cream filling. 9
- Len: Melissa’s best dance. 9
- Bruno: He just makes a bunch of not-so-subtle sexual innuendos. 9