DWTS MEGAcap: 2 Couples Enter; 1 Couple Leaves

Roshon & Chelsie: Just barely survived elimination twice. There’s a whole lot of Disney Goofin’ ‘Round in rehearsal, much to Chelsie’s chagrin.  So they bring in Roshon’s grandmas?!!? Why not. “Grandmas, this Foxtrot is for you!” – Roshon, on his last week on DWTS (we can only hope)

I’ve never been a big Forest Gump fan.

“Sorry this sucks!”

Can’t he do just one dance that explores a different aspect of humanity besides cheesy, Randy Newman-soaked saccharine?

• Bruno: The sweetest of sweet. No jerkiness. Great holds. Great lines. Joy!  10
• Kerry Ann: You made us proud! So proud!  10
• Len: Two dancing munchkins. “Good job, Dog!”  9

This is the first time tonight they didn’t fight. Did Roshon’s contract require that he make it through to the end of the season?

William Levy: I think I heard him say something about not liking the Foxtrot or ballroom dance in general because of all the rules. But all I could hear was this:

and this:

Their Foxtrot is pretty smooth and he seems to have found his frame, and keeps on his steps.

“Pretty cool, no?”

• Kerry Ann: Super hot sexy Pink Panther. Brought the dance to life.  10
• Len: Care in technique. Flair in movement. He liked it.  10
• Bruno: You heart breaker! I hate you! (He loved it)   10

Manage à Donald: The trio talk about how crazy their 3-person Jive is. In rehearsal, Donald looks like he’s having a seizure. In performance, at least he keeps up with the pros.

• Len: Fun, fun, fun!  9
• Bruno: It’s hard to stay in sync in a three way, but you did it! Kept up with these two firecrackers.  9
• Kerry Ann: Didn’t miss a step! Kept up the whole way!  10

The ballroom is pissed that they didn’t get triple tens. 

My Dreams Come True: What could be better than Maria and Derek? Maria, Derek, and the guy from the troupe I’ve been calling SEXY VANILLA ICE!!! He has a name. It is Henry. And he is FAAAAABulous (despite the acne). Obviously,  first up is an ab contest.

Henry wins. Barely. (sorry it’s blurry)

I don’t quite understand why (trying to make the most flamboyant dance of the night?) but they do a Bollywood inspired Samba!!!

“Who’s hand is that?”  “That’s not my hand”

It’s quick and fun, but there’s not much Samba. It’s a little too quick for Maria to keep up with the boys, so it’s a little messy. Also, it’s a disturbingly gay (and that’s a pretty rare assessment coming from me).

• Bruno: Creatively incredible. Timing was off.    9
• Kerry Ann: What a great number. The boys were perfectly in sync. But Maria not so much. “It was a feast for my Asian senses.” I’m offended.   9
• Len: “If I was judging a Bollywood number it was a 10.” But he’s here to judge a Samba.   7

Damn, Glen! 7! It wasn’t as bad as Melissa stumbling across the floor like Laura Ingals running through the plains after breaking an ankle!

MVM:  Maks and Melissa chose Maks’ brother Val. Melissa says it’s because they don’t want to rely on votes alone. After a clip of both Val and Maks ganging up on Melissa in rehearsals, she says there’s nothing hotter than dancing with both Chmerkovskiy brothers. I wonder if they timed their shaving so they would have the same amount of stubble?

It’s grabass time!

Melissa’s a little wooden at times but mostly keeps up with the bros. Chmerkovskiy. Meh.

• Kerry Ann: Maks and Val sandwich!!! And Melissa was a delicious cream filling.   9
• Len: Melissa’s best dance.  9
• Bruno: He just makes a bunch of not-so-subtle sexual innuendos.  9