Food Network Star Episode 4 Recap: Fashion Plates and Platters

Of course, the Judges think his dish is amazing and they love his presentation.

Frenchie’s dish really fits her “POV” and she is presenting something that’s “RETRO RAD” and, yup, she has a piece of ham on her head.

Hats-off to ham!

She has made a Ham Salad with a spicy Pickle (uh oh, Judson slipped her a little pickle fever) and Cherry Salad. And she has made a “Ham Fascinator” for each dish. I’m sure Kate Middleton will be wearing one to The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. At the end, Frenchie hollers “Hats off to HAM!” Indeed. The Judges really think she has made “Emily on a plate.” It was WOW looking, fun funky and playful.

Oh here comes Martie, with her Tuna Noodle Casserole that she has reinvented into Tuna Noodle Casserole. Martie has used Tuna Belly. Delicious Tuna Belly. Tuna Belly that should be eaten raw, not baked into a mushy casserole.

Turning Tuna Belly into Cat Food in 60 seconds

Martie has an interesting presentation idea, she makes the casserole in a ring mold. Which is great. Except, she hasn’t really thought of how she’s going to get them out of the molds. When they are very hot. And oozy. And mushy. So, she just decides to serve them in the molds. Ugh. With casserole oooozing down the sides of the mold.

Anyone order a crusty mold?

She presents her dish to her model and the model asks if it is a pile of hair extensions? “It’s Tuna Noodle 2.0.” proclaims Martie. The Judges see the tuna-oozing ring of fury, and are like- how the hell are we supposed to eat this? Alton is like… “Uh oh…” But the Judges just kind of dig in and slurp up her tuna. They comment that everything that Martie makes is like Flannel Pajamas and Hot Cocoa- they find her very homey and comfortable. Not bad for Tuna Helper.

Yep. That is Judson in a Lavender Blazer. He is a fashion felony. He’s like Grimace only not as well-dressed. He has made a seafood paella with some fried shell filled with Lobster. Judson steps to the podium and states “I have a mantra: Great cuisine + exquisite fashion = LOVE. Huh? The Judges are like HUH??

I should have sliced up some Pickles and called it a day

Bobble thinks there are too many “crunchy things” in this. They think his words are hollow and Bob, flat out, doesn’t believe that is Judson’s mantra. Yeah I have a mantra too. I created it from pointing to five random words in the dictionary: “Cross-examined knockwurst x esophagus roast = DEPRESSION.” I’m sorry, mine is just as believable.

“ROCK N ROLL!!” – sorry, I thought you might be missing Josh.

Team Bobble is on deck. And first to present is Yvan. Last week Yvan was told that his energy wasn’t as high as it could have been. So this week, Yvan, apparently did a speedball before his presentation because he was shot out of a cannon.

I AM A GOLDEN GOD!!!

Richard Simmons is a corpse compared to Yvan.

He is so hopped up that the audience asks “Why is he yelling?” Yvan presents his “sexy shepherd’s pie.” The judges note that the dish had the appearance of lightness but that he was painful to watch.

Next up, our favorite fashion platter, because he’s too chubby to be a fashion plate: IPPY, in, the latest, in a long line of bad hawaiian shirts. Ippy presents his Pancetta Crusted ribeye as a reinvention of Salisbury Steak. He really wants to transport the audience to Hawaii (That’s more like it… learn from that, Gangster!!) The judges think it, in no way, reminds them of Salisbury steak, and they are starting to doubt his “star power.”