Vampoor is making Wonton Nachos- with ground pork and pico de gallo. Why is this guy such a genius? It, actually, pisses me off sometimes- like why didn’t I think of that??? In his one on one interview, Vampoor says, to the camera “I know I need to seem good-natured and warm…so, not like a vampire.” Ok, I threw in the last part. But I BET he did say it and they edited it out.
You cannot tell me there isn’t a resemblance…
Finally, Martie is going to make Fish En Papillote or as they call is in Alabama “Fish in a bag.” Haha She is preparing her fish- a grouper, with lemon. She notices that her fish has a LOT of bones in it, which I thought was a foreshadowing attempt, because it didn’t seem that Martie had tweezers or pliers. She should have just whipped out her dentures and tried to use them as tweezers.
Alton tries to impress upon Martie and Vampoor that they need to be prepared for the worst because a LOT of things can go wrong in demos. He asks them what the worst that can happen is and Vampoor says “Extreme Acts of God.” Martie thinks she will be fine because she can just talk her way through any issue. Alton says that the worst that can happen is that you say “Um…” followed by nothing. Cut to Vampoor saying “Martie has no problem talking…” which seems to be the first “crack” we see in their tight-knit team. Alton tells Martie that she better control her talking or she will be “on the Midnight Train to Birmingham.”
Leaving’ on the Midnight Train to Birmingham… Woo! Woo!
The Mentors meet with Bob and Gigantor and explain that they tried to prepare the contestants for glitches that could occur in their demos. So they have decided to create a few glitches of their own based on the contestants weaknesses. (insert maniacal laugh here)
Mwaaaa hah hah ha
Ok, finally things are getting good on this show!!!
Ok, so this is how we are going to f*ck with them…
Vampoor is the first to present and they have decided to pepper the audience with hecklers. Or, one annoying heckler, I should say. He starts by telling the story of when he was moving to Brooklyn and his grandma was worried because there are “lawless and wanton rappers” in Brooklyn. Vampoor responded that there are “lawless wonton wrappers” right in her grocery store. Ba-dum-ba! Thankyou!I’llbehereallweek,2showsonSunday.Trytheveal!! He just finishes his troy, when a dude yells out “How much hair gel do you use?” “How long have you been cooking?” “What if my kids don’t like Asian or Mexican Food?”
Do what I did…trade them in for new ones
“How do you know so much?” At first Vampoor takes it in stride and answers the heckles good naturedly. But it is evident when he exits the stage that he is ticked off.
Sir, I will tear you limb from limb and pick my fangs with your bones
Even Bob and Gigantor noticed. But, they say, “he makes smart food.”
Nikki is up next, and Bobby explains that they have rigged her blender to not work. And Nikki needs to make a red pepper sauce, which is her “tip.” She flips on the blender… and nothing happens.
She pauses. Loses her place in her script that she is NOT supposed to be following (she wants to not sound rehearsed, remember?), gets flustered, goes back and forth from counter to grill, etc and finally runs out of time. Bob and Gigantor think her food is good, but that based on her performance the audience wouldn’t understand what on earth she is doing there with this poor performance.
They told me we were coming to see Snooki