Cooking time is up and the guests sit down and beautifully decorated tables, thanks to Nikki and Martita- maybe they should be on Next Food Network Decorator Star.
Vampoor is up first, he has made a Chilled Sweet Corn Soup topped with Chili Oil (applied to the top of the soup with a dropper- which is cool) his “kid version” is heavier on the corn.
This Chili Oil will paralyze them long enough for me to attack
As he presents the soup and he is going to focus on “not being stone cold.” Hahaha See, even HE thinks he’s a vampire. (Clearly ONE
person vampire is reading this recap.) His soup is Vegan, wheat-free, dairy-free, nut-free, and, possibly, Flavor-Free… just kidding it’s Vampoor, he can make dust taste good. The guests/judges start to sample his soup and Paula and Gigantor both, like, hack up a fur ball.
Apparently the Chili Oil on top was a little spicy. He presents his tip. If you want a stress free party and to concentrate on partying and NOT on cleaning up… use as asparagus spear as a toothpick. Cool, but not always applicable, but Paula loves him and says “he thinks outside the box.” Alton replies “I don’t think he knows the box is there.”
Martie presents her Endive stuffed with Goat Cheese (and Cream Cheese) and Salmon Roe, and a Cheesy Chicken Bon Bon for the kids, which is the same as the adults, but more goat cheese, because kids LOVE goat cheese and substitute chicken for the salmon. Although the picture of her kid dish looks nothing like her adult dish. It looks like a Camel and a Squirrel Humping a Chicken Meatball.
Even a Camel needs a little action from time to time
Her tip, before she ran out of time and the tape cuts off, is to soak towels in ice water with cucumber and lets guests cool off using the towels. Or you can buy a fan. Paula is very understanding and says “It’s hard for a southern girl to do anything in 30 seconds.”
“I’m going to skin you and wear you like last year’s Versace”
Martie states that meeting Paula was such a thrill and freaking Gigantor is all choked up because she is so touched. I love how Gigantor likes to pretend she is not a Fembott sent here by aliens to destroy our civilization.
Nikki’s turn. And guess what? “The last thing I want to do is cook for kids.” That is… a direct quote. She is still bitter that the kids didn’t like her puke green smoothie a few weeks back. I mean, seriously, has she ever met a child?
There are children here somewhere… I can smell them.
Nikki has prepared Grilled lamb skewers and a grilled panzanella salad. And she has no variation for kids or maybe it was edited out. Her tip is to run around the house and collect spare vases or mason jars- you know, because you live at Martha Stewart’s house, fill them with sand and shove a candle in the sand. Paula thinks it’s boring to only cook on the grill. Ha. Even Paula doesn’t like Nikki. The food is just ok. But they think that Nikki is the most natural she has ever been and was warm and playful. So, crap, she’s staying.
The POV-less Malcom is up next with is spicy Jerk Chicken with rice and pigeon peas and the kids version contains LESS Habernero and has a pineapple salsa. You know how kids LOVE Habernero.
The most-loved kids foods are:
1. Ice Cream
His tip is to tell people to grill a pineapple. His tagline is “From Malcolm with some soul” Oh yeah, these pants scream SOUL.
Just let your SOOOOOUUUUUUULLLLL Glo