Martita suggests she make a Churro with some Mexican Hot Chocolate. Linkie thinks she is taking a HUGE risk.
In the van on the way to get their groceries, the team is asking Martita a million questions about Mexican food and how to make it.
I’m not with these gringos
Linkie wants to know what a churro is how to make it. She also doesn’t know what chocolate is. Martita is like- I can’t carry this team on my back… If she’s carrying Ippy, she’s going to need some kind of wheelbarrow. Although Yvan is so hopped up he can probably hoist Ippy over his head with no problem. I’m kidding, I really like Ippy and think he is a talented chef with exceptionally bad taste in shirts.
At “Whole Paycheck,” Gangster is looking for chopped clams. They don’t seem to have any. Scrubbing and opening clams for this amount of chowder is a tremendous undertaking for a 2 hour time limit. I said to myself- please don’t go with canned, please don’t go with canned…. And my Gangster did the right thing- she bought fresh clams.
Nothing like a fresh clam to get me goin’
She’s excited about the flavor she’ll get from a fresh clam… insert your own lesbian joke here. (Please don’t write that I am anti-gay, I love lesbians. I could BE a lesbians if women knew how to take out the garbage.)
The countdown starts- only 2 hours to cook. Martie explains that she’s doing “Martie Party Southern Style Arrancini.” She has a lot to do- browning ground beef and veal, she needs to make a marinara and she needs to make the risotto. A) I would be using some type of swine in this thing- not ground beef. She should be using a ham or salami. But whatever- it’s Martie’s Partie. Alton questions her and she says “I’ve ruined enough rice in my day to know how to make sticky rice.”
Team Alton is fooked
But risotto is something that needs, pretty steady attention. Martie has 6 burners and something going on each one, which leaves her barely a second to talk.
Gangster is laboring over her clams, but she is taking the express lane- she is scrubbing them and steaming them to get them to open and then she’ll remove the meat.. and hopefully she doesn’t burn herself in the process. Hell- you aren’t a chef if you don’t have a good burn story.
As an example, here is my burn from Culinary School.
The Mentors and Bob and Gigantor come in and Alton tells everyone to STOP!!! They have a twist. And in walks the newest Iron Chef: Geoffrey Zakarian. And everyone is like… Oh no! because seeing someone from Iron Chef is never a good sign. Geoffrey explains “On Iron Chef it is important to take an unusual ingredient and to elevate it to the next level…” The contestants are all: That’s great jackhole, but this is NOT Iron Chef. You are on the wrong set again, Geoff!
Hi there, everybody, I’m here to toss a monkey wrench into this whole shootin’ match
And then we see it, The Silver Cloche of Doom, under which lies their surprise secret ingredient: Chicken Livers.
Winner Winner Chicken Liver
But, there is a silver lining, only one person from each team needs to use the secret ingredient in their dish.
Team Bobble Head’s Yvan is going to make a chicken liver taco. Sound great. If you are Mexican Cat.
Team Alton’s Vampoor, of course, readily accepts the challenge, as he feeds on chickens and their livers if human specimens are scarce.
Anybody have some lava beans and a nice Chianti?
Team Bobby’s Gangster is stuck with the livers. Bobby suggests she make a chicken liver crouton to float on the top of her chowder.