In the final minutes we check in Martita who is getting pissed with her team because everyone is asking her a million questions. That’s what happens when you claim to be an expert in something and speak with a phony Spanish accent. But she looks like she wants to take Linkie and Yvan and toss them into a pile and do a mexican hat dance on their asses. Oh, low and behold Martie can’t get her meat to brown and hasn’t rolled a single risotto ball. Looks like she’ll have her work cut out for her on Day 2. Linkie is, pretty much screwed, her dough is too sticky. She had no idea what kind of dough to use to make a churro (for those playing at home, it’s a pate choux, same dough as for eclairs and crème puffs) because hers is a sticky mess.
I have been observing a phenomenon. Apparently Food Network only has 1 tube of lipstick. As everyone is wearing the same shade.
Communal Lip Stick
We cut to Day 2, they have only 1 hour to prep. We see Linkie writing the menu on a chalk board and apparently Linkie doesn’t know how to spell guacamole. She’s South African… it’s probably not a popular item for her culture. But Martita acts like Linkie murdered her family.
Nikki is, suddenly, regretting her decision to make a dish that has 7 steps in order to plate. And Linkie surmises that she is in trouble because finished churros are not soft but crunchy… so she will just sell them like Biscotti. Which is nothing like a churro. That’s a great plan. A great plan… for me to poop on.
Vampoor and Martie are standing there staring at two pots of oil. That are not nearly hot enough to fry in. They have absolutely nothing to serve and all hell is breaking loose. A crowd is forming, but luckily, they have Martie who can make conversation with a bag of hair. She chats up the crowd and gets their enthusiasm going. For once her flapping gums are a GOOD thing.
Gangster is humping it- selling her chicken liver toast and clam chowder, talking to the crowd, hyping everyone up, while Malcolm and Nikki are suddenly mute.
Oh wait, Vampoor and Martie’s oil is FINALLY hot enough to fry in, so Vampoor starts frying while Martie plates the food.
Vampoor serves his tempura fritto misto and then mists it with lemon juice from a spray bottle. Which is something I am so stealing- freaking vampire genius.
Nikki is just plating and not speaking to anyone. Way to be soft, friendly and welcoming, you shrew. Gangster notices the lack of crowd interaction with Nikki and Malcolm and pulls them into a Team Huddle and tells them, point blank, that they need to talk more.
Gangster could be a dark horse in this whole thing! I could see this coming down to a Vampoor, Ippy, Gangster Finale. Which will end with Vampoor standing, victorious, on a pile of Ippy and Gangster’s bones, but I digress.
Team Bobby is first to be judged. Malcolm says that he thinks Nikki is boring. Well, if that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black… (it’s an expression, please don’t call me racist.) Takes one to know one, Malcolm!!
When the judges come around she just tell them what in her dish. Bob asks her to tell them about the concept for their kiosk and Nikki said that while Malcolm and Gangster cooked fish East Coast style she wanted to “Take them down Route 66 to Southern California…” and Bob asks her why she didn’t say THAT in the beginning? THAT would have been interesting. But Nikki just stated the recipe and had zero ooomph. Maybe Bobby knocked the ooomph right out of her in the alley? Who knows.
I’m going to kick someone’s ass down Route 66
Malcolm’s crab cake is amazing. It really celebrates the crab. The judges note that he is confident, but quiet. He has glimmers of stardom, but it’s not enough.