Susie proclaims Gangster’s chowder one of the best she’s ever had. I’m not surprised because Gangster LOVES NEW ENGLAND!!! The judges think the chicken liver crouton was very smart. Bobby smiles smugly. Oh wait, he just smiles. Smugness is merely implied with every smile.
I’m amazing, if I do say so myself
Gangster really grabbed the spotlight.
The judges move on to Team Bobble Head.
Ippy says “Hola and Aloha!” He explains that he has Pineapple and Pork, two of his favorite things, then he whips out tattoos that illustrate that. Does this guy have tattoos to match every challenge or what?
I get fresh ink to match my ugly shirts
He presents his Pineapple Pork Chili Verde to the judges and they think he is playful, his dish is yummy and he seems very comfortable in his own skin. Let’s hope it’s his own skin.
Yvan serves up his Carne Asada Taco and Chicken Liver Taco and tells the judges that Chicken Livers remind him of his mother. Who, as it turns out is a Mexican Cat.
Yvan and his Mom
The judges think that he made great use of the secret ingredient. And Bob has a total boner for Yvan’s Chicken Liver Taco. And maybe his Mom too.
I don’t know about you, but I have a Culinary Boner right now
Me too, Bob
Martita serves up her Chicken Tortilla Soup with Chips and Guacamole. The judges ask her if this is something she makes all the time and Martita just nods. Her mind goes blank. Or blanker.
She hopes her food is good enough to keep her out of the pitch room. The soup is off the charges, according to Iron Chef Zakarian, and the guacamole was lovely- not ground breaking, but nice. Martita was given a gift, with a big fat Mexican bow on top and she ignored it. She missed a HUGE opportunity.
Ooooh, Linkie’s Churro. Bisc-hurro. Linkie is freaked out. She describes her “Churro” as more like a Biscotti. Of course, she stumbles. And as she is describing the churro and how they should dunk it in the coffee. I mean chocolate. I mean coffee. Now the judges look a little freaked out.
I think I’m having a stroke
The judges think Linkie’s churro is tough, hard and tasteless and that LInkie is timid and lacks confidence. Nothing new.
Last but not least, Team Alton is ready to present their Kiosk “Little-er Italy.”
We are even smaller than Little Italy, but we are still RAD
First up is Vampoor with his Fritto Misto with Lemon Mist. Vampoor says it GBD- “Golden Brown and Delicious” which must be the Vampire version of GTL (Gym, Tan, Laundry). The judges are all jacked up! They think Vampoor has creative ideas and the culinary expertise to pull it off.
It’s a traditional Transylvanian Dish
They see a star. Well a star that they need to keep in a coffin during the daylight, but a star nonetheless. (foreshadowing?)
Martie introduces her Rice Balls saying it’s “Simple, Fearless Entertaining” and she has stayed true to her Southern Roots and made the perfect party dish. The judges eat that crap up with a knife and fork.
Frenchie has made a “Retro Sweet Apple and Fontina Dessert Panini” with a Sweet Lemoncello Rosemary Honey. Bob loves it and loves Frenchie’s “smartness” and he devours Frenchie’s Italian Pannini.
I could dog this day and night, Susie