Food Network Star Recap: Not a Corndog in Sight

Recaps

By MisRed | Tuesday, June 19, 2012 | 5:43 pm | 13 Comments
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Posted in: Food Network Star, Recaps

Susie proclaims Gangster’s chowder one of the best she’s ever had.  I’m not surprised because Gangster LOVES NEW ENGLAND!!!  The judges think the chicken liver crouton was very smart.  Bobby smiles smugly.  Oh wait, he just smiles.  Smugness is merely implied with every smile.  


I’m amazing, if I do say so myself

Gangster really grabbed the spotlight.

The judges move on to Team Bobble Head.
Ippy says “Hola and Aloha!”  He explains that he has Pineapple and Pork, two of his favorite things, then he whips out tattoos that illustrate that.  Does this guy have tattoos to match every challenge or what?  


I get fresh ink to match my ugly shirts

He presents his Pineapple Pork Chili Verde to the judges and they think he is playful, his dish is yummy and he seems very comfortable in his own skin.  Let’s hope it’s his own skin.

Yvan serves up his Carne Asada Taco and Chicken Liver Taco and tells the judges that Chicken Livers remind him of his mother.  Who, as it turns out is a Mexican Cat.  


Yvan and his Mom

 The judges think that he made great use of the secret ingredient.  And Bob has a total boner for Yvan’s Chicken Liver Taco.  And maybe his Mom too.


I don’t know about you, but I have a Culinary Boner right now


Me too, Bob 

Martita serves up her Chicken Tortilla Soup with Chips and Guacamole.  The judges ask her if this is something she makes all the time and Martita just nods.  Her mind goes blank.  Or blanker.  


Me frege 

She hopes her food is good enough to keep her out of the pitch room.  The soup is off the charges, according to Iron Chef Zakarian, and the guacamole was lovely- not ground breaking, but nice.  Martita was given a gift, with a big fat Mexican bow on top and she ignored it.  She missed a HUGE opportunity.

Ooooh, Linkie’s Churro.  Bisc-hurro.  Linkie is freaked out.  She describes her “Churro” as more like a Biscotti.  Of course, she stumbles.  And as she is describing the churro and how they should dunk it in the coffee.  I mean chocolate.  I mean coffee.  Now the judges look a little freaked out.  


I think I’m having a stroke

The judges think Linkie’s churro is tough, hard and tasteless and that LInkie is timid and lacks confidence.  Nothing new.

Last but not least, Team Alton is ready to present their Kiosk “Little-er Italy.”  


We are even smaller than Little Italy, but we are still RAD

First up is Vampoor with his Fritto Misto with Lemon Mist.  Vampoor says it GBD- “Golden Brown and Delicious” which must be the Vampire version of GTL (Gym, Tan, Laundry).  The judges are all jacked up!  They think Vampoor has creative ideas and the culinary expertise to pull it off.   


It’s a traditional Transylvanian Dish

They see a star.  Well a star that they need to keep in a coffin during the daylight, but a star nonetheless. (foreshadowing?)

Martie introduces her Rice Balls saying it’s “Simple, Fearless Entertaining” and she has stayed true to her Southern Roots and made the perfect party dish.  The judges eat that crap up with a knife and fork.

Frenchie has made a “Retro Sweet Apple and Fontina Dessert Panini” with a Sweet Lemoncello Rosemary Honey.  Bob loves it and loves Frenchie’s “smartness” and he devours Frenchie’s Italian Pannini.


I could dog this day and night, Susie

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MisRed
About

Misred is an East Coast Gal and a jack of all trades.  Project Manager, Trained Chef, Amateur Writer, Professional Mocker, Devoted Wife and Mother of Furry Kids (dogs, not werewolves).  I spend my time doing all of the above, as well as making the necessary preparations for my eventual and eternal damnation in the fiery pits of hell.  I take comfort in knowing I'll have friends there... like Satan.

Check out my blog www.meabritapitandanitwit.wordpress.com

13 Comments

  1. 1
    featherhead
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 6:42 pm

    Awesome recap! I noticed that usually when someone gets kicked off, the team usually says “no way ” ‘I can’t believe it ” yada yada – with Linky no one said that, they just gave her a quick hug and pushed her out the door.

  2. 2
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    Yayy Team Alton!! Martie gets on my nerves, but I needed that arrancini in my mouth and in my belly. But Frenchie’s dish didn’t sound so good…I hate cheese and apple together, and then to put it in a grilled sandwich? Nooo.

    Nikki should have gone home. Her eyebrows make her look perpetually evil. Even when she was crying, she looked evil as fuck. Linkie was annoying, but at least she looked like someone that you could possibly be friends with. And really, that whole team was a fail. Malcolm is boring as fuck and doesn’t realize it, and I’m kind of tired of hearing about New England from GAB. No one cares. And I certainly don’t want to watch an entire show about that shit.

    @MisRed, that burn looked so horrible. I swear, burns are the worst type of injury in life. I’d rather have my hand cut or crushed in a door than have it be badly burned.

  3. 3
    MrsTimRiggins
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 6:41 am

    I knew Linkie would be going home and wasn’t upset by it, especially when I realized her thing is supposedly desserts but she doesn’t seem to know how to make many desserts. What was her POV? And it’s interesting that they are keeping the team numbers pretty much even–no one has had 2 losses in a row.
    Off topic but has anyone watched Mystery Diners on Food Network? It has got to be fake. There is no way they go in a restaurant with hidden cameras for 1 shift and find all these crazy things.

  4. 4
    mjhhawk
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 8:05 am

    I think Frenchie is a sleeper in this contest – Squishy Bob seems to love her. I’d rank them as contendors as Vampoor, Ippy, Franchie and then gangsta AB. Martie, Malcolm, and Grill Next door have no chance. I thought Martita was in the running, but she had a terrible week and the edit seemed to be cut to show her as pissy about helping her team which can’t bode well for her future.

    Is Mystery Diners different than the hidden camera show? I watched that once and the private eye watching all of the cameras was annoying.

  5. 5
    wcsdancer
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 11:33 am

    Vampoor likely used “GBD” because Alton frequently uses the phrase “golden brown and delicious” on Good Eats.

    It really irks me that they criticize the cooks for being too quiet, or not having a “big personality”. Judging from many of their current show hosts, “big personality” = obnoxious. Not all of us want to listen to over-the-top personas…Rachel Ray, Paula Deen, Guy Fieri, yeah, I’m looking at you.

  6. 6
    LisaCee
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    Hilarious recap! “va-jay-jay corral” still has me laughing. And good call on the lipstick shade…you are absolutely right!!
    I so wanted Ms Independent to go home but having a feeling it won’t be long before the door hits her butt. I’m surprised Malcon is still there too.

  7. 7
    LyndaB
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 11:14 am

    OMG, I’m trying really hard not to pee myself reading this recap. You are so hysterical!

  8. 8
    MisRed MisRed
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    Thank you all for the support! It is much appreciated. :) xo

  9. 9
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    I’m a bit off schedule (a-GAIN – too many shows but oh dear Jeebus don’t take them away – panic attack – breathe, Amy, just breathe).

    But! Thank you, MisRed for another fab recap. I liked that final three scenario you were playing around with, but I’m gonna half to throw Martita in for Ippy. He’s so…….low……key…..

    @MrsTimRiggins: Oh is that how Mystery Diners are playing it? Cheating, just a little, wink wink. I’ve yet to watch the first show but I thought it looked fascinating. Should I give up?

  10. 10
    lovesthehobbitses
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    Okay, I’m sorry if this was already discussed– but does it bother anyone else that Martie’s Party is pretty much the same thing as Aarti’s Party?? Not only a contestant, but a WINNER from a few seasons ago?? Every time Martie proudly discusses her POV (oh how clever! she made it rhyme!) I can’t help but cringe. How has the network not called her on this yet?

  11. 11
    keebler elf
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    does anyone know what justin’s pov is? none of them seem too interesting this season

  12. 12
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted June 24, 2012 at 10:42 am

    @keebler elf: Justin’s POV is something like “Rebel with a Culinary Cause”. He’s like the freakish but relatable badass of the food world.

    @loves…: I KNOW (spoken in my best Monica voice)! WTF is she thinking? Why hasnt “The Network” said something, like you mentioned. She’s damn skippy not winning. I’ll eat my iPod if she does.

  13. 13
    Amy
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Martita was a beyotch…

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