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Wednesday, June 27, 2012
6:00 am
19 Comments
Episode 7- “Meet the Press-ure.” Wow, a cleverly named title, how did that happen?
Alas, Linkie is gone and Grill Next Door stays. Obviously, Bobby Flay has some deep pockets.
I don’t care how much it costs you, I am staying
Here we are all gathered in front of the Mentors: Alton Brown, Bobby Flay and Bobble Head Di Laurentis. It is announced that they will no longer be judged within the context of their teams, but will be judged individually from here on out. Malcolm says that this will be trouble for certain people. Wait. Is he talking to a mirror?
You guys are in trrrrrrrrouble
Yes, his food is good, but even Bobby said that he was shocked Malcolm was still there. A fence post has shown more personality than Malcolm.
This week’s “Star Challenge” is called “Meet the Press.” And they have three guest judges: Jess Cagel and Jill Bernstein from Entertainment Weekly (do they cover food in Entertainment Weekly?), Christina McLarty from Entertainment Tonight and Ed Levine from Serious Eats. The contestants will serve the judges one perfect bite and will make a 90 second EPK (Electronic Press Kit). The bite and the 90 second spot will need to show their POV and tell a personal story about them. It should tell the judges who they are and why the media should notice them. Afterwards, the guest judges will grill them about their POV and bite, so they better be ready. Oh, and they will need to do this challenge without any help from their producers.
Yeah, um, we’re outta here
Alton explains to his kids to think of this as an audition for the job. And it’s time to add “color” to the sketch.
The contestants begin to think about what they will be doing. Martie tells us that she was a “Party Girl” as a teen back in the 1920’s, so she will stick with her “Martie Partie” POV. Vampoor wants to do something the reminds him of his father- Count Chocula. Frenchie realizes that she needs to bring more depth to her POV, but she is reluctant to share her family story. “How revealing do we have to get?” Emily asks.
We aren’t looking for you to be revealing those anytime soon
Bobby tells his team that they need to draw people in with their stories and tell them “how they got here.” Nikki is going to focus on being neighborly and approachable. So, in other words, she’s going to concentrate on being someone she’s isn’t.
I’m going to be the REAL Jan Brady
Bobby reminds them that it needs to be the perfect bite and the perfect story.
Once the contestants arrive at the Food Network Kitchens, the games begin.
Malcolm is first out of the gate with his EPK, and he announces that he’s all about soul food! He presents a spring lamb chop. Growing up, his mother always made lamb with mint jelly for Easter. He explains that he always hated the mint jelly, with it being gelatinous and gross, so he decided “to get chef-y with it,” so he has made a spring lamb chop with a mint merlot sauce. Whoa. Who is this guy? Malcolm is freaking shot out of a cannon! The crushes it. The judges love his chop and are wondering where this guy has been the whole time. He was time traveling back to 1983 to get these pants.
Muffy, please pass me my Golf Clubs
Martie is making a rolled chocolate cake filled with Bourbon Cream. She calls it a “Chocolate Roulage,” which she explains is what they call a “Roulade” in Alabama. Insert your favorite redneck joke here.
Pass the Roulage, Martie
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19 Comments
ROFL, Vampoor and Count Chocola ….says it all
Aw, hated to see Emily go. She cooked well and was fun until recently. It was touching to see her buddy, Justin’s reaction to her leaving. Was kinda hoping the grouchy grill girl would blow.
Not for nothing, but why on earth, with the competition in Chef World and being on a show competing to be a stand out chef in order to land on TV, would Malcolm show up without a POV??
Boo…will miss Frenchie especially because I wanted to know her backstory now. Do me on a Grill is still here, so blech. But I really didn’t feel Martika this episode. She couldn’t think of anything to say during the on camera pressure test and her elimination video was not an improvement. I didn’t get her POV.
BOO! I was hoping for a Frenchie win. Wonder why she couldn’t/wouldn’t open up ?
Grill Girl gets on my nerves so bad! Ugh! Same with Ippy!
Now I guess I am with Vampoor all the way- I just worry that they will hold him till the end then cut him for not being “relatable”
Another hilarious recap!
This show is full of crap–this whole every man for himself thing isn’t true. If it were, then the bottom 3 (or however many) would have been up for elimination instead of the bottom person from each team. Make up your mind, FN!
“I think the reason why the judges love Martie so much is because they don’t really know how annoying she is. They only see her “on camera” work.”
So true MisRed!! UGH why do they like her so much? I want to see a chef with confidence and ABILITY win.
I was okay with Frenchie leaving, she wasn’t going to win it. Let’s get real, how many of us want to cook food from the fifties? Which btw, wasn’t that great a time in history for numerous reasons. She clearly needed an escape from who knows what. Instead of a food network show, I recommend counseling. Yvan’s story was sad, but he was willing to share it and that’s how you connect with your audience. Most people grow up in less than perfect situations and can identify with that (or at least sympathize).
Rooting for Vampoor, Gangster and Ippy. I think he needs to stay exactly the way he is – a show with him in Hawaii would be fantastic.
“do me on a grill” LOL @LAC
im not surprised malcolm is there still, im surprised that martie & nikki are still there! & i agree with zerocool about frenchie’s show, i probably would have never watched it…& she might need some counseling
I wonder if Frenchie regrets helping Martie plate her smashed-looking “chocolate roulage” (re: knockoff ho-ho), knowing that if Martie had served nothing, she’d have been up for elimination instead of Frenchie.
Martie shouldn’t still be there, but the fact that they haven’t once discouraged her from the show name “Martie with the Party” when they’ve already got “Aarti Party” on the network shows that they know she won’t win. If she had a chance, that would have been brought up the first time she said it.
This was one of the funnest recaps I have ever read!!
I can’t believe that after 30 secs of dead air Martitia didn’t go home!! What a rip for Emily.
I really liked Emily. So sad that she’s gone, and when I saw Justin crying about it, I definitely shed a few tears for the fallen fifties homie. But seriously, what happened to her? I’m mad that FN kicked her off without letting us get the juicy deets first. Not that I intend to use her anguish for entertainment, but seriously…inquiring minds want to know.
I hate that Nikki is still here too. She’s not going to win, because nobody will vote for her, because nobody would intentionally want to watch an entire 22 minutes of her face and voice. Except for Bobby Flay, and he’d probably only do it if it was a porno.
Vampoor should just crawl into his coffin and take a nap for the remainder of the taping. He’s got this.
Great recap, MisRed! The Gigantor pictures send me into the girly giggles every time.
Martita’s silence was so awkward and hilarious! And the judges faces even funnier.
I hated to see Frenchie go and would have been thrilled had it been either of the other two.
You’re doing a great job with the recaps- funny funny!
Vampoor FTW
Loving Vampoor, but his make-up is really awful. He looks like he might be simultaneously competing on Ru’s Drag Race, but doesn’t have time to remove his lady lips between shooting the two shows.
I dunno, I’m still liking the idea of a show about a Hawaiian chef. That’s something that’s never been done on FN before… at least not that I know of… so it would be a new, fresh, interesting idea. I went to Hawaii 20 years ago, and I thought it was just a crazy beautiful place, and I found the native Hawaiian culture to be quite fascinating, plus I’m also Italian, so I would definitely watch Ippy’s show.
Emily had to go. It was emphasized a dozen times by a dozen people that the presenter needed to open up about themselves. She willingly ignored the guidelines to present something she wanted to present, and even that wasn’t good. I agree it is sad that she is obviously hiding some trauma in her life and trying to return to what she thinks is a simpler life, but working those issues out on a reality show is probably not the best place. And I won’t mis her saying Retro Rad either.
I think MisRed is harsh on Ippy. He’s my #2 guy behind Vampoor. He has a great attitude, fun shirts and his food always looks delicious.
Vampoor is the clear favorite – his food is some of the most interesting I have ever seen, but I’m not so sure he can carry a 30 minute show with his personality. The winner last year was all personality, and I think that’s almost more important than cooking ability.
Tush and the Hag need to realize that not everybody has had a Leave it to Beaver childhood!! Some people just aren’t able to talk about their past, but it doesn’t make them unrelatable. The only thing better then Ivan telling them how he rooted through trash for food growing up would have been Ivan asking “Now What?”
And I agree with everyone – Martitaaaa should have been eliminated for that 30 seconds of dead air right there on the spot. The panel’s faces were priceless !!
@mjhhawk- for the record- I freaking LOVE Ippy! I think he is super talented and I love his energy. The judges do not. However, you can’t dress in bad shirts week after week and expect me not to say anything. Note: I tend to make fun of the people I LIKE, and not really bother with the people I don’t (well, except for Nikki). Even Martie, who is torturous- there is something likeable about her, at least to me. But I’m here to mock the show and rip people to shreds. IMO- this whole shebang is going to come down to Vampoor vs Ippy for the final with Gangster a close second… unless Malcolm can be Malcolm we saw this week. Maybe it’s those crazy pants…. maybe they are his secret weapon.
Is it me or does Nikki look like she could be Jacklyn’s sister from RHONJ> ? Everytime I see Nikki on the food show I think that.
I didn’t think Emily would win (Hurray for the fifties when only white men had rights and meals took FOREVER to cook! I know I have three hours to spend in the kitchen every day!), but she’s done so much better than Nikki overall that I can’t believe they let her go! Nikki has been told again and again “don’t be scripted”. They should just tattoo it on her somewhere already.
Truthfully, I think the judges already know who it will come down to: Vampoor, GAB, and Ippy or Magic Malcolm unless Mundy Malcolm shows up instead.
I would totally watch a 30 minute show with vampoor especially now that Good Eats is going away. He can be Alton next generation