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Wednesday, June 27, 2012
6:00 am
19 Comments
Frenchie decides that she is going to make a “Thanksgiving Bite.” She is too afraid to tell stories from her past. Is she ashamed that she’s a Beauty School Dropout?
They kicked me out of the Pink Ladies
So she just describes the bite and says that it’s an ode to her family and friends- Rizzo, Kenicki and Danny Zuko. She takes a bite and almost chokes on her food. She is super nervous.
Whoa Whoa Whoa why do you need to know about me
The Judges question what is her connection to this bite? They wish they knew more about her personally. They learned nothing about Emily from her EPK, although her Thanksgiving bite was delicious.
Ippy decides to make a crispy wonton chip with smoked salmon. Ippy says it’s hard for him to figure out what the judges want from him. Um… more energy? They have said repeatedly that he is too laid back. He says that the camera just sucks the energy right out of you. How many camera are on him??? A sloth has more get up and go. Ippy welcomes the judges to “Ippy’s Voyage to Paradise.” Again, the judges remark how low energy he is and that he seemed nervous. He also gave told them how is mother was a New Yorker and his dad was Hawaiian “and together they made the person standing in front of you.” Which is a little creepy to talk on a food show…the last thing I want to think about when I see food is Ippy shooting out of someone’s vagina. Besides, he would probably be wearing an ugly hawaiian print diaper.
My Mother is Hawaiian by injection
But Ippy says he isn’t going to change who he is for anyone. Good for him. Of course, in the context of this contest this may not be a great decision.
Martita needs to dig deep. Martita decides she will be making a Butternut Squash, poblano, black bean Flauta. Hmmm, that sounds like it will taste like puke, but it’s the kind of puke you have to “dig deep” for. Martita is not worried because “I am a great story teller.” She is? I don’t know one single thing about Martita, other than she is Mexican. Martita begins her EPK by saying that she is first generation from Mexico and presents her Farta, i mean, Flauta. And then she’s done. 30 seconds early. So, what? No big deal, she’s a great story teller, right? Nope. She just stands there and stares. and stares and stares.
Dead Air
The judges are STUNNED.
What is she doing?
They tell Martita that this is not an entry level position and they are embarrassed for her, and disappointed that she took this challenge so casually. Her bite was good. But, it’s a little like- “So other than that, how did you enjoy the theater, Mrs. Lincoln?” Vampoor smells a fresh corpse.
<sniff, sniff> I smell fresh meat
Ohhhh, last and least, here comes Little Nikki Sunshine. Because Nikki is now a “girly girl, she has prepared a grilled Scallop with Nori and Flowers. Yum. Scallop sprinkled with fish food and weeds.
I’m delicately hacking these flowers to pieces
Nikki explains that she loves nothing more than going to “ethnically diverse neighborhoods” to get ingredients and then making something delicious from them!! The Judges are confused. Is she saying GIRL or GRIL?
It’s a play on words, jackass
Is she “Girl on Grill” or “The Grill Next Door.” Why are there flowers in this dish? What purpose do they serve? The judges think she is having an identity crisis. Nikki snaps that she is trying to take their notes from last week and is showing her delicate side.
I’m a f*cking delicate flower, damn it!
TV Social
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19 Comments
ROFL, Vampoor and Count Chocola ….says it all
Aw, hated to see Emily go. She cooked well and was fun until recently. It was touching to see her buddy, Justin’s reaction to her leaving. Was kinda hoping the grouchy grill girl would blow.
Not for nothing, but why on earth, with the competition in Chef World and being on a show competing to be a stand out chef in order to land on TV, would Malcolm show up without a POV??
Boo…will miss Frenchie especially because I wanted to know her backstory now. Do me on a Grill is still here, so blech. But I really didn’t feel Martika this episode. She couldn’t think of anything to say during the on camera pressure test and her elimination video was not an improvement. I didn’t get her POV.
BOO! I was hoping for a Frenchie win. Wonder why she couldn’t/wouldn’t open up ?
Grill Girl gets on my nerves so bad! Ugh! Same with Ippy!
Now I guess I am with Vampoor all the way- I just worry that they will hold him till the end then cut him for not being “relatable”
Another hilarious recap!
This show is full of crap–this whole every man for himself thing isn’t true. If it were, then the bottom 3 (or however many) would have been up for elimination instead of the bottom person from each team. Make up your mind, FN!
“I think the reason why the judges love Martie so much is because they don’t really know how annoying she is. They only see her “on camera” work.”
So true MisRed!! UGH why do they like her so much? I want to see a chef with confidence and ABILITY win.
I was okay with Frenchie leaving, she wasn’t going to win it. Let’s get real, how many of us want to cook food from the fifties? Which btw, wasn’t that great a time in history for numerous reasons. She clearly needed an escape from who knows what. Instead of a food network show, I recommend counseling. Yvan’s story was sad, but he was willing to share it and that’s how you connect with your audience. Most people grow up in less than perfect situations and can identify with that (or at least sympathize).
Rooting for Vampoor, Gangster and Ippy. I think he needs to stay exactly the way he is – a show with him in Hawaii would be fantastic.
“do me on a grill” LOL @LAC
im not surprised malcolm is there still, im surprised that martie & nikki are still there! & i agree with zerocool about frenchie’s show, i probably would have never watched it…& she might need some counseling
I wonder if Frenchie regrets helping Martie plate her smashed-looking “chocolate roulage” (re: knockoff ho-ho), knowing that if Martie had served nothing, she’d have been up for elimination instead of Frenchie.
Martie shouldn’t still be there, but the fact that they haven’t once discouraged her from the show name “Martie with the Party” when they’ve already got “Aarti Party” on the network shows that they know she won’t win. If she had a chance, that would have been brought up the first time she said it.
This was one of the funnest recaps I have ever read!!
I can’t believe that after 30 secs of dead air Martitia didn’t go home!! What a rip for Emily.
I really liked Emily. So sad that she’s gone, and when I saw Justin crying about it, I definitely shed a few tears for the fallen fifties homie. But seriously, what happened to her? I’m mad that FN kicked her off without letting us get the juicy deets first. Not that I intend to use her anguish for entertainment, but seriously…inquiring minds want to know.
I hate that Nikki is still here too. She’s not going to win, because nobody will vote for her, because nobody would intentionally want to watch an entire 22 minutes of her face and voice. Except for Bobby Flay, and he’d probably only do it if it was a porno.
Vampoor should just crawl into his coffin and take a nap for the remainder of the taping. He’s got this.
Great recap, MisRed! The Gigantor pictures send me into the girly giggles every time.
Martita’s silence was so awkward and hilarious! And the judges faces even funnier.
I hated to see Frenchie go and would have been thrilled had it been either of the other two.
You’re doing a great job with the recaps- funny funny!
Vampoor FTW
Loving Vampoor, but his make-up is really awful. He looks like he might be simultaneously competing on Ru’s Drag Race, but doesn’t have time to remove his lady lips between shooting the two shows.
I dunno, I’m still liking the idea of a show about a Hawaiian chef. That’s something that’s never been done on FN before… at least not that I know of… so it would be a new, fresh, interesting idea. I went to Hawaii 20 years ago, and I thought it was just a crazy beautiful place, and I found the native Hawaiian culture to be quite fascinating, plus I’m also Italian, so I would definitely watch Ippy’s show.
Emily had to go. It was emphasized a dozen times by a dozen people that the presenter needed to open up about themselves. She willingly ignored the guidelines to present something she wanted to present, and even that wasn’t good. I agree it is sad that she is obviously hiding some trauma in her life and trying to return to what she thinks is a simpler life, but working those issues out on a reality show is probably not the best place. And I won’t mis her saying Retro Rad either.
I think MisRed is harsh on Ippy. He’s my #2 guy behind Vampoor. He has a great attitude, fun shirts and his food always looks delicious.
Vampoor is the clear favorite – his food is some of the most interesting I have ever seen, but I’m not so sure he can carry a 30 minute show with his personality. The winner last year was all personality, and I think that’s almost more important than cooking ability.
Tush and the Hag need to realize that not everybody has had a Leave it to Beaver childhood!! Some people just aren’t able to talk about their past, but it doesn’t make them unrelatable. The only thing better then Ivan telling them how he rooted through trash for food growing up would have been Ivan asking “Now What?”
And I agree with everyone – Martitaaaa should have been eliminated for that 30 seconds of dead air right there on the spot. The panel’s faces were priceless !!
@mjhhawk- for the record- I freaking LOVE Ippy! I think he is super talented and I love his energy. The judges do not. However, you can’t dress in bad shirts week after week and expect me not to say anything. Note: I tend to make fun of the people I LIKE, and not really bother with the people I don’t (well, except for Nikki). Even Martie, who is torturous- there is something likeable about her, at least to me. But I’m here to mock the show and rip people to shreds. IMO- this whole shebang is going to come down to Vampoor vs Ippy for the final with Gangster a close second… unless Malcolm can be Malcolm we saw this week. Maybe it’s those crazy pants…. maybe they are his secret weapon.
Is it me or does Nikki look like she could be Jacklyn’s sister from RHONJ> ? Everytime I see Nikki on the food show I think that.
I didn’t think Emily would win (Hurray for the fifties when only white men had rights and meals took FOREVER to cook! I know I have three hours to spend in the kitchen every day!), but she’s done so much better than Nikki overall that I can’t believe they let her go! Nikki has been told again and again “don’t be scripted”. They should just tattoo it on her somewhere already.
Truthfully, I think the judges already know who it will come down to: Vampoor, GAB, and Ippy or Magic Malcolm unless Mundy Malcolm shows up instead.
I would totally watch a 30 minute show with vampoor especially now that Good Eats is going away. He can be Alton next generation